Who said anything about safe?

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"Who is Aslan?" asked Susan.

"Aslan?" said Mr. Beaver, "Why don't you know? He's the King. . . . It is he, not you, that will save Mr. Tumnus. . . ."

"Is -- is he a man?" asked Lucy.

"Aslan a man!" said Mr. Beaver sternly.

"Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion -- THE Lion, the great Lion."

"Ooh!" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he -- quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

"I'm longing to see him," said Peter, "even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point."
Chronicles of Narnia
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Hard is an understatement for describing the adoption process. We knew this going into it, and we jumped feet first. We knew that we would be hurt, and still we continued. We knew that it would cost us more than we have money for, and still we walked in faith. Then we were hurt...hard....and we kept walking. Then we were faced with another child, and we plunged in quickly, fell in love, became attached had a week of the highest highs and lowest lows....and here we are, still walking towards adoption.

I was asked this week if I have a bad taste in my mouth for adoption, and as much as I wanted to say yes, I can't. I am wired for adoption. God has placed such a clear call on my heart. My heart breaks to know that there are children who need homes and families, and my heart wants so badly to come alongside of mothers that are trying to do the best for their children. So yes, adoption has been hard, but I am not about to spit it out of my mouth.

When we first found out about Caleb we had some people in our lives that wanted us to remember the risk that we were taking, to remember that nothing is final until a judge decides, people who doing everything in their power to remind us of how hard adoption really is.

And you know what?

We already knew that. All too well, thank you.

And you know what?

We jumped head first anyways.

As we are in the "waiting period" wondering whether or not Caleb's birth mom is going to go through with adoption or not, I would not have changed anything.

What if we end up adopting Caleb? I cannot imagine the time lost with my son because I was so careful to protect my heart.

Or what if the adoption doesn't go through? Well, then we had the chance to love on a baby, to pray for him, sing to him, talk to him, and visit him. Without us, and without our families this sweet boy would have had no visitors. NONE. Having some constant love and attention for even a little while helped Caleb so much! When we first met him, nurses were saying he could be in the hospital for 6 weeks, and after a week with him, they were saying maybe 10 days, he had gained a pound and was bottle feeding. WOW.

So does adoption hurt? Is it hard? More than you know. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is a glorious calling.