In risk of having you skip right over this post because it is so cliche, let me encourage you to push through that temptation. Why? It is GOOD to give glory where glory is due, and boy did God do some great things this year. Without further ado, let's praise Him...
PROVISION God has been so faithful in providing for us. I still am surprised at our income. We can pay our bills every month and can give generously. Earlier this year, Jon lost his job, and in the same week he had a new job, with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. Wow God, thanks!
HOME, SWEET HOME It has been an INCREDIBLE BLESSING to buy our own home. It has been a place of rest, a place of ministry, a place for me to experience creativity(in decorating), a place where we will have our children, a place where we will serve the Lord. It is a block away from where the college where I work, so I can walk, and students are often found in my house--a great blessing. Also, we have had the beautiful privilege to get to know our neighbors better and grow in our relationship with them.
ADOPTION God has broken our hearts for giving children homes and raising them. It is a beautiful picture of what God has done for us, bringing us into His family....It has been a very hard process, but the Lord has been near to our hearts and pursuing us in His love
FRIENDS New and Old, God has used friends in our lives to be a huge source of strength and encouragement, shoulders to cry on, they have moved us into our house, we have worked together, prayed together, laughed together and probably shared a few pots of coffee together.
Reminding me that following Jesus is not based on emotion. The past few months were hard as I dealt with depression and anxiety in a fairly deep way. Earlier this year, God had brought me to a place where I was devouring the word, hiding it in my heart, through memorization. I had a lot of head knowledge. Little did I know, I would need that head knowledge to walk through some dark spots in life. I needed to rely on the hope and peace that Jesus has to offer.
TEACHING God has given me the gift of teaching and I have been able to grow in my teaching skills in the past year,both with ministry with college students and in church. It has been a blessing and I have a LOT to learn!!
That is just some of this year..........God has been good, amen?
Hands down, my husband is high on the list, just behind Jesus on my list of favorite things. He is an amazing man, my best friend, greatest support and just plain fun. Get to know him. :)
Gods Word: I love the way that God speaks to me through His word. It is living and active and I am so privileged to be able to study it, to teach it and to learn it. May this year be another year of digging deep into the Word and growing my depth of knowledge of the Word and the Lord.
Adoption: Follow this blog, and you will see why adoption is one of my favorite things
InterVarsity Christian Fellowship: Not only my employer, but an organization that has amazing staff and a God given mission to reach the college campus for the kingdom. InterVarsity has been so transformational in my spiritual development, far more than I can share in a hodge podge blog. Would you like a post later on it?
Journals, healthy cooking and Jodi Piccoult: If you can't find me, chances are, I am in a quiet place journaling. I LOVE LOVE LOVE journaling, it has been one of the most healthy things I can do. Jodi Piccoult=my favorite fiction author. I like to cook healthy, just don't do much of it.
"Smelling" Products: Perfume, cleaning products, candles, air fresheners....anything. Here is some of my loot from Christmas. I am so excited for my new Burberry Perfume and Very Sexy Perfume!!!
Scarves and Accessories: LOVE THEM ALL, ALL THE TIME. Here is what I was given for Christmas to add to my collection of accessories.
Kohl's Panera Bread and Victoria Secret: And with a love for these, what is better than gift cards to those places?
PURSES!!!: I have a new miche bag skin!!! Yeah, I love them. And a great pink wallet.
If you know me at all, you know I am addicted to taking pictures.....and new from Christmas....a camera to throw in my purse (because my other one is too big) and a video camera!!!! Watch out folks.....
My husband cooking: This is some of the cooking stuff he got this Christmas--fajita grilling set, oven board, beer butt chicken, and Jim Beam marinades. Who is coming over for dinner?
There are so many more "favorite things," but this is the list you get for now:)
Selfishly, I want to throw a giant pity party for myself--and you would be invited. But I'm not, so you don't need to post it on your calendar:) I thought I would save you all some trouble.
All I wanted for Christmas was a baby. A baby that had no home. I wanted to dress this baby up in Christmas dress clothes, take Christmas pictures and send out family Christmas cards, from the 3 of us. Right now, there is an ache in my heart as I celebrate Christmas with my family of 2 instead.
I don't know why we don't have a baby this Christmas. I don't know why God chose to close this door. I don't know why this is not the Christmas that I will become a proud mama.
But there is a baby.
A baby that brought hope.
A baby that brought reconciliation.
A baby that brought redemption.
A baby that brought peace.
A baby that grew up to give His life for me
A baby that was born fully man and fully God.
And because of that baby, I can celebrate Christmas.
"Much of the evangelical church is longing for a deeper experience of God, and the irony is that it is among those we too often ignore and avoid- the orphans, widows, poor, sick and oppressed- where God said He would be. There we will experience Him, see Him, touch Him and walk with Him." (Kerry Hasenbalg)
I am not entirely sure God is doing in my life, but the above quote encompasses my thoughts dreams and passions.
We will never get over it, we simply get used to the feeling that something is missing. We go through the day knowing that our lives have something missing, and despite what people say--it DOES NOT get easier, you just get used to it.
Something is missing... My nose realizes that there is something missing, when it cannot find the baby smell anywhere. The beautiful baby smell, even the poopy, pukey baby smell is lost My eyes realize something is missing when I look around the house and see no evidence of a newborn. I see an empty crib, a rocking chair holding a blanket and not a rocking mom. My eyes scan the laundry room for baby clothes and I only see mine. My lips are realizing something is missing when I am not smooching on that lil one My ears realize something is missing when there is a numbing silence, without baby coos and cries My hands realize something is missing when they are not touching the softness of a baby's skin My arms realize something is missing when they ache from not holding my sweet baby But most of all, my heart knows something is missing...all of the time
I am thinking... I need to go and refill my coffee mug if I am going to make it through the day
I am thankful for... a God who can handle my hurts and brokenness. A God who has infinite wisdom and prepares me for what He is going to do
I am wearing... yoga pants, a red long sleeve shirt and a grey zip up with red reindeer socks.
I am remembering... Christmases past
I am going... to be a new person someday
I am currently reading... Community Prayer, The Bible,
I am hoping... to be hopeful again
On my mind... I get to see Amber and Isabelle in a few minutes!!!!!!!
Noticing that... there is lasting evidence that we had a one year old at our house last night.....for dinner....dessert......and cat treats. Who knew? Who knew a one year old loved cat treats so much?
Pondering these words..."My sacrifice, O God is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you, God will not despise" Psalm 51:17 and "The Lord is now slow in keeping his promise as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you..." 2 Peter 3:9
From the kitchen... coffee
Around the house... Christmas decorations!!!
One of my favorite things... Celebrating Christmas with Family
Monday, December 14, 2009
Someone asked me when the baby was coming. I replied, "There is no baby, the holidays are definitely not as we had planned."
Their response: "Oh, well, newborns are not fun anyways."
One of my favorite Christmas traditions is my extended family's Christmas party. We have a white elephant gift exchange. Here are some photos of the just got them out of my garage, GREAT gifts.
She's the King of the World....nope, just a bowling ball.
A deer phone....a real working, deer phone. If only it rang with a "deer voice"
A pig...butler pig, with a chalk board
Martini glasses, not just one, not even a set of 4....but 36!! Complete with a frame, "Intoxicated by Love"
Gourmet Coffee
A headlight, that Gramma LOVED. She was thinking of all the ways she could use it...quilting at night, reading at night.....
I spent the evening wrapping presents and watching the snow fall. I LOVE Christmas. My mamma would be proud to see my tree with wrapped presents under it. I still have some shopping to do, and more wrapping. Christmas is so fun!! I love getting people gifts and I love receiving gifts. So what exactly does this girl want for Christmas?
*Candles and oil burners. I like a good smelling house. I like "Food" smells, like vanilla, Cinnamon, etc...
All you woman out there, don't jump on me....yet. In no way, shape or form, do I believe that pregnancy is an easy cake walk. Trust me on this. In fact, I am actually very fearful of it (that is for another post). BUT....right now, pregnancy would be easier.
As I look forward to the holidays, this is the Christmas where I wanted a baby. This was going to be it.....we have celebrated 3 Christmases together as husband and wife, we have bought a house, we have a great marriage, good jobs, feel settled.....what a great Christmas present a baby would be.
It is hard to not have one with us during this season. Half joking, and half seriousness, Jon and I have said to each other on numerous accounts, that we should just "try." Adoption is hard. Pregnancy would be easier.
Mind you, we have never tried to get pregnant....well, I guess if you having sex, then, it is always a chance, right? Let me rephrase....we have been very careful to not get pregnant over the last 3 years. We want to adopt. We are passionate about adoption. It breaks our hearts that there are children that will never have families.
For this season in our lives.....it would be easier to get pregnant. It would be easier and more fun to have sex, get pregnant, 9 months later, healthy baby, botta boom, botta bing. All in a perfect world.
But that is not what the Lord has asked us to do. He has asked us to enter into this process with Him. To enter into a process that gives children a home that would not have one otherwise. A process that comes alongside birth mothers, and say to them, "We are going to walk alongside of you in the process, we will hold your hand, love you and support you." Those words would be empty if we will not make the choice to also raise their children as our own.
We have been asked by the Lord to pursue adoption. But being pregnant would be easier.
It almost seems selfish and irresponsible and faithLESS to get pregnant. Selfish: It says that we want a baby NOW....and we really don't want to walk alongside mothers in need. Irresponsible: We can only have so many children to invest in emotionally and remain sane, not to mention financially. If we start getting pregnant when God is not leading us there, then we may never adopt. Or maybe we would not have adopted as many children as God had wanted us to. FaithLESS: Do we REALLY believe this is what God has for us? If it is, then we need to wait. **(Disclaimer: I do not think, that all women and couples should feel this way.....in fact, if I did, it would be contrary to scripture. I know that many of you are pregnant, or have children biologically and are blessed beyond belief to have that. I also know that some of your have had pain after pain of not being able to bear children or adopt, and for that I am so sorry for your pain. I cannot imagine it. But for us....this is where God has called us to be. This is where we will stay until He chooses something else)**
I see the little Christmas outfits in the store and can't wait to dress a child up for Christmas pictures and holiday parties. I had great plans to send out family photos in Christmas cards this year, and my heart hurts, that folks will not be getting a picture from us.....there is not much to show, just Jon and I. And I think to myself, getting pregnant would be easier.
We want a baby.....but we have to remember why we have gotten ourselves into the mess of this process....it is because there is a loving Father who has adopted US as HIS Children. There is a loving Father who cares for the orphans and father-less. If the church does not show these children that, then how will they ever see His Love? How will they ever know it? How can Christians just talk, and not do anything about it?
So here we are....in the mess.....dealing with broken hearts, paperwork, the huge costs of adoption, still a family of 2, because no matter how easy getting pregnant would be, we have been asked to adopt.
Before you give advice, let me remind you that we all grieve differently. I need to move on. Not because I don't love this sweet baby. She has had my heart since August, and will always be a part of my life. I may never meet her on this earth, but I love her and pray for her. My heart longs for her to know her Savior, to know the love of her heavenly father. I am saddened at the thought that she may never meet or know her earthly father. I pray that she would grow into a healthy adult that loves God and loves people. I know its strange. I know you might not understand, but I have a daughter...she lives an hour away and we have never met and probably never will. My love will not end.
But, I must move on.
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
I believe that God is going to bring us a baby. I was reminded of this today from a dear friend and neighbor. He told me that his children pray for us every day, asking God to bring us our baby. I thought to myself "it might be time to tell them that it is not going to happen, lest they begin to doubt the power of God....yada....yada.....pity party for myself and so on....." Luckily this friend continued on before I could continue on in my nonsense, with a reply, "And we will keep praying, because we still want God to bring you your baby. We just don't know what it will happen."
But I must move on.
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
Yesterday, I loaded the nursery into the car and traveled to take everything back (well, we kept a few essentials) -Because some things were gifts, and in the craziness of putting the nursery together we have lost some receipts. You can't return things without a receipt. Also, for the receipts we did have...they were expired. So there I was at the service desk, crying, asking the sales lady, "So what do you suggest I do with all of this baby girl stuff, and no baby girl?" She had sympathy on me---or just wanted me to leave the store, but still had to obey the rules. Apparently I could return $60 worth of stuff if I used my drivers license. Great. What about the other stuff? I looked at her with tears. She suggested my husband use his drivers license as well...so between the two of us, we were able to return SOME things. If anyone would like to return other stuff for us on your drivers license, we need you. We need this stuff out of our house.
Let me back up a little.....I thought this would be an easy shopping trip....just return things and leave.....
Well, if the first melt down in Target, complete with tears didn't convince me that I needed someone else by my side, the second one sure did. So I called for reinforcement.
Jon, the most amazing husband in the whole entire world.....I called and asked if he wanted to come and see a movie. Lame, but I couldn't just tell him that I was in the store parking lot bawling my eyes out and couldn't leave until he came......
So he came, we returned things, had dinner and saw a movie. It ended well.
Jon got his emotions out at the movie.....crying through its entirety.
Me, well I bought myself a nice ring with a November birthstone. November is my birth month, as well as the birth month of my daughter.
November is National Adoption Month. This blog post is to see what questions you have about us, our process or adoption in general. Look for answers in blog posts to come.
For those of you looking for an update: We are switching case workers, (the agency has reassigned us, due to job changes within the office). There is a birth mother that will be looking at our profile in the next month. We are assuming that G will no longer be reaching our agency, we are planning that it will never go through. We do know that Noelle was born on November 21, and is beautiful. That's it.
Every year at thanksgiving I like to write a list of 100 things I am thankful for. Sometimes it happens in my blog, sometimes it happens in my journal....Enjoy!
1. The hope that passes all understanding that comes from Jesus alone. 2. The way that God has prepared me for this mourning process (Note: I CANNOT believe I actually typed that! Another whole story in and of itself!) 3. God continues to be glorified 4. A new house 5. GREAT GREAT GREAT neighbors! Shout out to the bumpy green house. 6. Mom who helped me do some yard work this year....more to come next year mom, promise! 7. Jon's dad and brother who have helped us so much around the house 8. Folks from the church moving us in! What a load off! Amazing move in crew. 9. Finding a local church to belong to. 10. New friends. 11. SPEW meetings. I have so enjoyed watching students come together in fellowship and prayer. 12. Friends who have prayed with me and for me. 13. Friends who are not afraid to be quiet, give me a hug and cry with me. 14. My husband's unconditional love and support, even when he gives me 'the look' of "What in the world did I get myself into by marrying you?" 15. I was hit by a UPS truck, totaled the van I was driving and the only damage...spilled coffee, and I walked away with a new car. 16. God's constant provision in our lives. 17. A washer and dryer in our new house. 18. Listening to little kids pray 19. Time with a sweet 2-3 year boy each week. 20. Beth Moore and the way she has ministered to me this year. 21. People who financially support me and pray for me. 22. Thoughtful gifts. 23. A pastor who is passionate about preaching the word. 24. Coffee 25. Diet pepsi 26. Meeting a student at random event......which launched a whole new area of ministry 27. The opportunity to reach the nations at college campuses 28. Seeing my dear friend Krista get married this past summer 29. Seeing my sister's excitement to be engaged and plan her wedding 30. The joy it was to take my sister's engagement photos 31. My camera 32. The opportunity that people have given me to "practice" photographing them 33. A good glass of wine 34. A new walk in closet 35. The joy of having baby clothes in the house 36. I am thankful for what I have learned about adoption.....the heart wrenching emotions we have gone through makes it certain that adoption is real, it is really loving someone into your family, the attachment is the same 37. The truth of scripture 38. The time and desire to memorize scripture 39. Crock pots 40. Chili 41. Date nights with friends 42. Watching Jalissa, my 14 year old sister grow up 43. Facebook...keeping in touch with friends 44. Watching my friends grow up:) 45. TimerWolf ---where I staff a training event with students....that is my kind of camping ya'll. 46. The desire that I have to learn to cook 47. The way that my husband has taught me to be more hospitable( yes, yes, he has the gift, I don't, end of story) 48. The opportunity to lead several women from church this past summer into a journey of prayer and scripture! 49. How there are just some friends in your life that you can go for a long time without talking on the phone, or in person and when you do, it is like you have never left. 50. Christian faculty on college campuses.....specifically one of them who is now my neighbor. 51. Cuddling with my cats, relaxing. 52. Sabbaths--praise God that rest is good! 53. The DVR. What a time saver for real!!! I no longer need to sit in front of the tv...I can record something and then watch it later, with no commercials and save time. 54. Cleaning products 55. Wood floors 56. World Vision 57. Those who have adopted 58. Candles 59. Hot water 60. Clean water 61. The ability to have food on my table every day....whether or not I chose to make it 62. Different ways we can worship God 63. Watching my husband pick up his guitar again and lead people in worship 64. A dishwasher 65. The ability to decorate my house (both creativity and a lil money) 66. The joy of buying gifts for others 67. West Michigan road trip with my family this past summer 68. Wireless Internet....how I can connect with almost anyone, almost everywhere 69. InterVarsity Christian Fellowship-this should not be so far down on my list since it is my job and all, and something that I love and am passionate about. 70. InterVarsity's Urbana Conference and the window to the world it gives students 71. Down blankets 72. Down matresses 73. Good health 74. God's continued healing of depression and anxiety 75. Seeing family regularly 76. Watching a church family train for the 5k and follow through (which I did not and feel super lame for, but what an encouragement to see if from them) 77. AMAZING Michigan weather in the fall 78. A great ladies retreat with folks from church in Frankenmuth 79. A church that cares about missions 80. InterVarsity's training 81. Small Group Leader's Training 82. The impact that Dave Ramsey and his ministry is having on folks from church 83. The ability and joy of tithing 84. Milkshakes with two friends after an emotional night 85. Sleeping through the night most nights 86. Cookie dough from members of the church to give to college students 87. A college student who wants to learn more about evangelism 88. Students that want to be trained in leadership skills 89. A job that I love 90. Pumpkin flavored things 91. Guilty pleasure tv shows 92. My husband's drive to work hard and provide for us 93. A heart for adoption. It is truly a heart after God's heart of adopting us as Gentiles into His family. 94. My vacuum cleaner 95. Free books from IVP 96. Some time to read those books 97. A staff team that I love 98. Creative ways to pray 99. His joy and peace 100. Jesus' desire to reconcile broken people to Him
We know that she has been born. We know that our baby girl has been born!!! Even if we never get a chance to meet her, she is still our baby, someone that holds a very special place in our heart. We are trying to figure out what this means.....she was born on Saturday afternoon. Most likely at this point, the birth mom has decided to keep the baby. We are unsure, we will keep you in the loop and ask for your prayers.
How can you pray? -For our agency to connect with G -For the baby to be healthy for G's recovery -God's peace for all of those involved -Pray that we would know what is happening soon. Obviously our hearts desire is to raise her and have her in our arms, but mostly we are in love with this girl and want her to be in a loving home that will let her know the love of her Father. -Pray that our sweet girl would be provided for -Pray that there would be closure. Yes, I said it. I have been avoiding it for so long, because with closure means that all hope is gone. But, with closure means that my sweet Noelle won't be living in limbo anymore. So pray for closure for the sake of the baby. -Pray for my broken heart. May it be filled with the joy and peace of Jesus, the love of friends and family, and selfishly, with Noelle.
Christmas Service that students put on. Each of the Christian groups on campus presented a part of Jesus' life. InterVarsity talked about Evangelism.
Each Friday night, students gather at my house for SPEW (Students Praying Expecting and Waiting) We have some dinner, fellowship together and pray. This particular night we had "Make your own pizza bagel" and Pumpkin Cupcakes.
I wish I could say that it has just been a bad week, but it has been HORRIBLE. I wish that I didn't battle depression and anxiety the way that I do. I wish that my circumstances were drastically different. I wish that I would have to be deciding how to cart a new born around the state to see family for thanksgiving instead of what we are going to bring as our dish to pass. I wish that the thought of taking baby girl stuff back to the store had never crossed my mind. I wish that I could sleep through the night I wish that I could wake up in the morning without a HUGE cloud of hopelessness around me I wish that I could wake up in the morning, instead of dealing with problems by sleeping I wish that I didn't deal with life's problems by sleeping I wish that I didn't deal with life's problems by overeating I wish that I could pick out a Christmas dress for Miss Noelle I wish that when asked to share how God is taking us through this process I could have answer I wish I wasn't so mad at God right now I wish I was doing things with my full potential I wish I had friends that lived closer I wish that I could hide the bruises I wish I could do more than cry I wish that I would not have to take time off of work, or take time away from life because of the hurt and pain I wish people would stop saying "God has other things in store, God knows whats best, This baby must not be for you, There is another baby out there, plenty that need adopting," I wish you would just give me a hug and cry with me, your words seem so empty I wish that I was rocking my baby to sleep instead of writing a sappy depressing blog entry
Before you freak out...Jon and I are dealing with it... we are surviving, and believe that God is going to take us through it. We are praying and seeking Him, but life is hard. Sometimes you just want to throw things and stamp your feet.
Today, I am thankful for a God that is bigger than my problems.
if you have been wondering that is. I have DEFINITELY cheated at my diet in the past few weeks, but the great thing is that I keep coming back to it. I have not given up. Words of Wisdom from my sister this weekend: "I'm afraid I have bad news. I think we are going to have to become runners. All of the women I know that are in shape are runners." So there you have it. Maybe in the next year I will learn to run. Until then, I am happy that I have lost 4 lbs. Doesn't sound like much, but its a start.
Today is my 26th birthday. 26 years ago I came into the world 6 weeks early. I was supposed to be a Christmas baby and came before thanksgiving. I was given a "christmas like" name, Kristin Noelle. Today I think about the past year and the year to come. I know that God has great things in store... Today I think about the next Noelle in the family. What would be the greater birthday day that meeting our sweet Noelle Grace, and bringing her home to her family.
What can you pray for? Several people have been asking.....Pray that G would leave Noelle in the hospital with directions to call our adoption agency. Through a series of circumstances we really feel that it would not be best for G to raise this baby girl that we have grown to love. If she leaves the baby at the hospital we could get a hospital call to come and get her......oh the joy that would be!
We have some news, and its not good. There is a major possibility that G was scamming us. That was some hard news to receive but we are not done! We are not giving up ---It is a weird long story. All hope is not lost. Would you still join us in prayer? Pray hard, even fast if God is asking you. Our baby is somewhere....we can't wait to meet her.
Tomorrow is Monday morning G's due date is Wednesday We have heard nothing We believe that this baby is for us, but have no idea if G is going to go through with the adoption I am losing hope Please pray
I want to hold her I want to kiss her I want to hug her I want to dress her up in sweet pink clothes I want to take pictures of her I want to stay up all hours of the night with her I want to change poopy diapers I want rock her I want to tell her about Jesus I want to show her off to the world I want to spend the holidays with her in my arms I want my Noelle
With only 6 days left until her due date, every time the phone rings, we run to it, and hold our breath knowing that this could be the phone call that changes our lives, for better or worse. And still, nothing. We know nothing, but we are hopeful, we are waiting for good news.
I am hopeful. Jon and I are hopeful. When I asked him tonight if he thought the adoption was going go through, he said yes. I said "are you saying yes to protect me?" His reply, "I say yes, because she is our baby."
This is our general attitude. We love her. We want her. We are prepared for her. We are hopeful, but it doesn't mean that there are never waves of sorrow and grief. The unknowing silence can kill me sometimes. So do you want to know what is NOT helpful?
-staying up late.....the mind just wanders.
-watching tv...you would be surprised at the things that can make me break into tears.
-planning for the rest of the semester/year, not knowing if I will be holding my little girl this year or not.
-hearing other folk's adoption stories, or their friends stories, a story they heard on the news, etc. NOT HELPFUL! WHY? The story either ends well, and I think, "Great, what about my baby?" Or it doesn't end well and I think "well, that was encouraging--NOT" Folks, don't waste your words.
-When someone says "She must not have been the right one for you." You don't want to cross an angry/emotional/attached mamma when you say this to me.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. I was talking to my sister this week, and told her that I was surprised that so many people were praying for us. She asked "Why? You guys have a huge support system!" Truer words have not been said. Thank you all for your support! We love you all.
Keep praying. Please pray that G would call the agency and go through with the adoption.
In case you were wondering...the due date is in 1 week and 4 days. Not that I am counting :)
Every Tuesday night I have the privilege of studying scripture and hanging out with some amazing first year students! This past week we decided to give free pancakes to the freshmen dorm. We wanted to get our name out, to invite people to our small group Bible Study. Besides, it is so fun to give free stuff away, especially free food. Everyone loves it!
-I need to take my mind off things -I need to have more energy -I need to be able to fit into my clothes -I need to feel attractive again -I need to be able to have the energy and stamina to care for a little one -I need to make my body a temple unto the Lord -I need to fit into a super cute bridesmaid dressin one year -I need to be healthy now to set an example for my kids in the future
Goal: Lose 53 pounds by October 2010. (would not be unhappy if it happened sooner, but hey, lets be realistic
Plan: working out 4 days a week, cutting back on bad carbs.
Who wants to join in with me? I am going to do a jump start with South Beach Phase 1.
And some added incentive...because Jon and I are SO NEEDING this, we have a "reward" system in our budget. If we work out four days a week, for a month, we will receive $30 that month. Now if that isn't an incentive......shopping here I come!
And even more incentive....PUTTING THIS ON MY BLOG! Seriously, accountability anyone?
..or so says the lyrics of a song I heard on the radio today.
This is our new mantra. What good is it to be depressed, and anxious that we just sit by the phone call waiting for an update...an update that no one seems to give us. Enough!
We are hoping. The Lord has asked us to become attached to Noelle Grace. He asked us to love her. We do. He asked us to provide for her. We are saving to do so and will be able to. He asked us to pray for her. We have and continue to. He asked us to get a house ready for her. We did.
This cannot all be for nothing, so we are hoping. We are waking up everything thinking "Is this the day that we get a phone call from the hospital? Is this the day that we get to hold our sweet baby in our arms?" So we hope. We prepare. We act as if it is going to go through.
Because that is what happens when we pray--we wait for God to answer. And because this is what this woman needs to do to get out of bed in the morning.....hope is all I have left.
This past weekend 30 some women from church traveled to Frankenmuth for our retreat. It was a wonderful time to get together with women, to build relationships, to laugh, to shop and for a few hours to forget about some pain in my heart.
From L-R (Rachel, Amber, Alaina and myself)
Roommates! Always a fun time rooming with folks. Just the start of some beautiful frienships...right ladies?
If you didn't get the title, please get on your knees and pray for us.
For those of you who have been joining us in our adoption journey, thank you for your prayers, your tears and your support. We have an update!
G (birth mom) has been found. Our case worker went to her apt today and lo and behold, she was there! She has been going through a tremendous amount of stress lately, being evicted from her apt is definitely high on the list.
TOMORROW---Wednesday, our case worker, her case worker and G will all be meeting, discussing how to best support G during this time, and talking about the adoption. As of tonight, she is planning on going through with adoption and has not changed her mind at all.
We should be getting a phone call from her soon.
Pray -that the meeting tomorrow would go well -that G would be supported and provided for -that our sweet Noelle would be healthy and come home to us -that we would be able to speak with G and get a feel of where she is at.
