Foster Parent Spotlight: Trisha

I  have received many questions and have heard lots of comments concerning foster care in the last few months. In attempts to process through them, take some action and give some understanding, I will be writing about different foster care topics. If you have a question, please share! 

Part of this series will include perspectives from former and current foster parents.Today we meet, Trisha. 

1. How long have you been a foster parent? We have been licensed for about two and a half years.
2. What led you to foster care? Why are you a foster parent? we had been interested in foster care in the early years of our marriage. We had close friends that were foster parents and their family kept growing as they would adopt. over several years they ended up adopting 6 children. This family had a huge impact on us. It was a joy watching them serve God and trust Him as they faced many challenges.I remember after our 2nd son was a couple of years old, I did some research and was going to sign up for the PS-MAPP classes. That week I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd and decided it wasn't a good time. Then 3 years ago the time seemed right .We had extra room in our house and all our boys were in school. We have always loved kids and have been involved in children's ministries.
3. What has been most surprising? I guess the most surprising thing would be how much contact we have with the birth parents. Before I was a foster parent I actually thought we would never come in contact with each other and the truth is I see or talk on the phone with birth parents DAILY.

Another thing I've been surprised at that no one told me in the beginning. The appointments and miles driven!! There are drs and dentists appointments always shortly after placement. We have had school meetings , IEP meetings, play therapy and mental health. There are family team meetings and of course all of the court hearings. Not to mention all of the visits. Right now we have 3 foster boys...boy #1 gets 3 visits a week, Boy #2 gets 4 visits a week including one overnight. Baby gets 5 visits a week with his mom! We usually drive one way and the provider drives one way. We live in the country so we drive about 10 miles to town. It adds up fast!
4. What have you learned about yourself? I have learned I am much stronger than I knew I was. I can handle much more than I thought I could (only with the help of my heavenly Father). I actually LIKE going to court. I have gained a ton of confidence.
5. What have you learned about God? How have you experienced God as a foster parent?God is always faithful. We lean on HIM daily(sometimes moment to moment). He ALWAYS provides and meets our needs.

6. What would your advice be to someone considering foster care? My advice to someone considering foster care would b to focus on loving the kiddos and giving them the best care possible....DO NOT get caught up in the drama or games that birth parents play. Be patient with DHS. Working with them can be frustrating.
7. What is your greatest need as a foster parent?Our greatest need is prayer and we do need help.We could not do this without the help of so many.Our fostercare support group has been a great help with car seats, formula, diapers whatever we may be needing. Our church family has been AMAZING ! Providing meals the week we get a new placement. Providing groceries, babysitting. Also our families have been so super supportive and love the kids and include them at family gatherings and camping trips just like one of the family. We are very blessed!

Foster Parent Spotlight: Amber

I  have received many questions and have heard lots of comments concerning foster care in the last few months. In attempts to process through them, take some action and give some understanding, I will be writing about different foster care topics. If you have a question, please share! 

Part of this series will include perspectives from former and current foster parents. Today's special guest: Amber. I have had the opportunity to be close friends with Amber for the past 5+ years. In the last year, I have watched her and her family turn from a family of 5, to a family of 8 through foster care. I have been blessed to see how God has used them through foster care:) 

1. How long have you been a foster parent? 6 months
2. What led you to foster care? Why are you a foster parent? a little boy who won over our hearts. We always knew we were open to taking in a child but just didn't know what avenue it would come in.
3. What has been most surprising? For us, that one child led to two which then led to three. I guess I am surprised that we now have a sibling group of 3.
4. What have you learned about yourself? I can do a lot on a little sleep. 
5. What have you learned about God? How have you experienced God as a foster parent? I have learned that the very hard is met with a very faithful God
6. What would your advice be to someone considering foster care? If someone is considering it then that means that their heart has been pricked and I would tell them to take each step as it comes. I would tell them that the system is flawed but that we are given a chance to be a voice for a child. My goal right now is to be a voice for three children who do not yet have one in this world. My goal is to love three children who were not being loved. My goal is to every day introduce and share Christ with these three children. I would also say that foster care is not for everyone. I believe it is a road that you can choose to take by God's direction and leading. Also I would advise them to get with others who are fostering. You need others that are in it too so you can bounce stuff off them or vent or just chat about what is going on.
7. What is your greatest need as a foster parent?Well, fostering can sometimes feel like a lonely thing. My greatest need has been and continues to be support from family and friends. I am fortunate that there are many families in our church that have fostered or are fostering. They have been a great wealth of support. Also support can come from others who are not fostering. Other people that have come along side and just been encouraging and giving with prayers, meals, babysitting, diapers and wipes.

Foster Parent Spotlight: Marilyn

I  have received many questions and have heard lots of comments concerning foster care in the last few months. In attempts to process through them, take some action and give some understanding, I will be writing about different foster care topics. If you have a question, please share! 

Part of this series will include perspectives from former and current foster parents. Today's special guest: Marilyn. 

1. How long have you been a foster parent? We were foster parents for 8 years.
2. What led you to foster care? Why are you a foster parent? I was introduced to the beautiful way of growing a family through adoption at a young age. My mom was adopted when she was 6 weeks old. My mom always had a thankful attitude toward adoption. I knew my mom's adoption was a beautiful example of adoption. I understood that God's plan was for Christians to care for people in need. When my husband and I looked into adoption we told our adoption agency we were interested in providing a home and family for children who are harder to place into care. Our agency explained to us the GREAT need for foster families. When we learned that it is often difficult to find appropriate homes for foster children we decided to become foster parents. 
3. What has been most surprising? I was surprised by how easily I forgot that my foster child, this little one who depends upon me for almost every need, and who so quickly stole my heart, still in reality has another family – their birth family. The truth that I was not their one and only mommy was hard to comprehend and a difficult reality for my heart to admit to.

4. What have you learned about yourself? As a result of providing foster care I learned that my capacity and ability to completely and unconditionally love someone did not depend upon whether or not they were born of my womb.  
5. What have you learned about God? How have you experienced God as a foster parent?I learned to trust in God in a brand new way. In many circumstances in my life I have been able to have a decent amount of control over the outcome In foster care decisions are completely out of my control and into the hands of God, the judge, and the birth parents. Being so far removed from the decision process of the little lives I cared so much for and had invested so much into encouraged me to run into the arms of my heavenly Father. The trust I placed upon God took on a brand new meaning and our relationship has changed forever.

6. What would your advice be to someone considering foster care? The advice I’d offer anyone interested in becoming a foster parent is to be careful to remember that foster care is needed and provided because of a great need the children have. We cannot enter into this ministry of caring for foster children to fulfill a need we feel is missing in our own lives. We need to remember this ministry is about the kids. Jesus Christ completes us and because of His great love we can in return love on others! Praise God!

I would also advise people to carefully consider the purpose of foster care. The goal of foster care is reunification between birth parents and their children. Reunification is the goal and adoption only occurs IF and when reunification isn’t possible. Like me, you may find yourself falling in love with a foster child the very moment you meet each other and yet he or she may not be yours to care for forever. This truth is important to remember as you take on this very important ministry. However, adoption of a foster child into a family may be a reality and when it is needed is such a blessing to the child and the adoptive family!!

7. What is your greatest need as a foster parent? When I was a foster parent my greatest need was for people to understand that just like their heart my heart is weak and sensitive! I heard endless comments about how my friends and aquainances were much too sensitive and how they would just get “way too attached” to the child so they could never be foster parents to a child who might have to leave their home. I have found that most foster parents have such LARGE sensitive hearts that they are willing to share what they have with someone in need despite their own potential heartaches that might come. A fellow foster parent wrote a book about being a foster mommy and titled it, “The Middle Mom, How to Grow Your Heart by Giving it Away”. Being a foster parent means being so sensitive and aware of someone else’s heartache and need that you are willing to give your own heart away completely to heal theirs.

Foster Care 101 Continued....the System

I  have received many questions and have heard lots of comments concerning foster care in the last few months. In attempts to process through them, take some action and give some understanding, I will be writing about different foster care topics. If you have a question, please share! 

If you missed the first post on foster care and how to care for foster families, please check it out here. 

Question: "What exactly is the system" 

Often in foster care, we throw around the word "System." The "system is broken."  "Kids get lost in the system." Etc. What exactly is THE SYSTEM? In order to answer some of that, some other roles and explanations are required. Ready? Set. Here we go. 

Why are kids in foster care? If there is a concern about the safety of a child, Child Protective Services (CPS) will start an investigation. The investigation could result in immediate removal, or an ongoing, checking in, keeping parents accountable, etc.   

If a child is removed, they are either placed with relatives, if a home is appropriate or in foster care. During that time, the case is transferred to a foster care worker. The foster care worker becomes the primary contact and advocate for the child and parents. Their job is to figure out the best situation for the child, majority of the time, working towards reunification (send the child back home).  

If you are a parent and your child has been removed, you are offered, and often court ordered to participate in a number of services, including drug screening, job training, finding appropriate housing, parent visits, parent classes, going back to school, counseling, etc, etc, etc. 

In most cases, a case will go before the courts every days. In the state of Michigan, it is a goal that kids will have a permanency planning hearing by the time they are in care for one year. 

Everyone who has a role in working with parents and the child (CPS, foster care workers, service providers, lawyers and the courts) are a part of the system. The judge on the case makes the ultimate decision, but all play a crucial role. 

Yes, the system is messed up. The system needs people to stop complaining and instead,  need those who are redeemed by Jesus to step in to the messiness of the system, get their hands dirty and to show the redeeming power of the Savior to a very, very broken system. 

Hope this helps! 

Helping Foster Families During the Holidays

I  have received many questions and have heard lots of comments concerning foster care in the last few months. In attempts to process through them, take some action and give some understanding, I will be writing about different foster care topics. If you have a question, please share! 

First up, is simply an article taken from our agency letter that was sent out last week. There are lots of you, who are not directly involved in foster care, but would be a great blessing to those who are. Here are some ways to do so:

7 Ways to Help Foster Families During the Holidays (and beyond) 

1. Babysit so the parents have a chance to do some Christmas shopping, complete other errands, and even have a romantic dinner together. 

2. Wrap presents for them so they don't have to worry about trying to find time to do the work of elves in the middle of the night when they could be getting some much needed rest. 

3. Prepare some meals so they don't have to. After all, finding time in their busy schedule to make a homemade meal can be a big challenge. 

3. Come over and do the laundry, cook, shovel snow, put up Christmas decorations, or other tasks that might help them. Added bonus: While you are there you can be a listening ear and offer encouragement and support. 

5. Take one of the family's children for the day. Give the child some spending money to buy gifts for their family. Treat them to lunch. You will find this to be a wonderful opportunity to mentor a child.  

6. Have the family over for dinner or for a holiday celebration. 

7. Adopt a foster family or another family by committing to be an ongoing support and resource for the family, no matter way season it is. 

-Written By: Calhoun County Foster Care Collaboration

November 17th 2013

Month of Thankfulness:

Today I am thankful for:

-Jon, who willingly wakes up with the kids early in the morning, and lets me sleep in on the weekends. You know, past 5:30am.
-Our Sunday morning tradition of going to Biggby for coffee
-Theology from my three year old: He was not allowed to have his Biggby Hot Chocolate, because of naughty behavior. After church, we heard, "I talked to Jesus, and apologized. He said I could have some hot chocolate now."
-Sunday night church cancelled. I was hoping it wouldn't be. I was so excited to go and spend some time with the teens, but it ended up being a great night. We were able to skype my family, I was able to put the laundry away and clean the house. Caleb and Jon had a wrestling match, kids went to bed early and Jon and I had a real conversation. It. Was. Wonderful. We didn't realize what a night at home looked like:)

November 16, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013

Today I am thankful for:

-A youth group willing to rake leaves for an elderly couple at church. It was fun to be with them and have some fun. I also had great conversations with the couple, hearing their life stories. Very fun!
-Teen girls who love on my kiddos.
-A nap. Seeing a theme here? Naps are so important when I don't sleep well at night:)
-A last minute, unplanned, conversation with an old college friend and colleague. It has been a few years, and it was great to catch up and talk about God's heart, and the ministry of getting our hands dirty in foster care.

November 14-15th, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013

November 14th
Today I am thankful for a special delivery. I love getting snail mail! It was a great surprise and blessing to open a birthday card and gift from my precious friend Krista. Thanks girl!

November 15th
I am so thankful for fellow foster parents. I am thankful that I have people to share this journey with, people that get the need, get the system and we understand the frustration and the joy that comes with foster care. I never thought I would have such a core group of friends around me in similar situations. Praise be to God for His people caring about the least of these.

November 13, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013

Today I am thankful for:

BIRTHDAYS! Yep, today is my birthday, officially in the dirty 30's. What is that supposed to mean anyways? Maybe don't tell me.

I am so thankful for birthdays. Growing up, I would wake up to balloons and streamers in my room on birthdays. As a kid, I really hated birthday cake, so my mom always got me a big cookie from the mall. As an adult, I have grown to like cake, but there is something nostalgic about a giant cookie on a birthday. Hint, hint:)  

As a mom, I want to make birthdays as special as possible. It takes extra effort with my boy,  who celebrates his birthday two days after Christmas. Who planned that? HA! Not me:) No, for real. I had no part in his conception:)

How do you celebrate birthdays???

November 12

Month of Thanksgiving 2013 

Today I am thankful for:  

-A nap!! It wasn't long, but I need a quick getaway. It wasn't even that I was tired, it was just the screaming children all day long:) 

November 8,9,10,11

Month of Thanksgiving 2013

Ok, so I am a little behind. It's all good, just because I wasn't posting didn't mean I stopped being thankful. Bear with my long list:

-Compelling 2013: a wonderful, God honoring conference with 850 students and staff from around Michigan, learning what it means to tear down walls and glorify God. Students were trained, met with God, grew in community and were sent back to their  campuses. I am so so so grateful to be a part of it.

-In the Gap: Compelling was broken down into several different tracks/seminars that students could take. I was a part of In the Gap, training 60 students all weekend how to lead through intercession. So grateful to be among people who value intercession, so much so, that it is seen as a way to lead.

-Tina: It has been a few years since I have seen Tina. We were on staff together, and she has left staff to pursue her teaching career. It was so good to hug her, catch up, and pray with her. I have missed her so much! And it was so good to see how God has been working in her life, and bringing sweet, sweet redemption to her ministry.

-Michigan State: It's a cool campus. Just sayin.

-My own hotel: Most years, I room in the same hotel as students during Compelling. This year, we had a couple hotels booked, and staff were moved off site. I was grateful to sleep at another hotel. It was much quieter:) I had good sleep, and a very comfortable bed.

-FSB: My supervisor. One of the most faithful, steady, pastoral man that I have ever met. And I could probably come up with a lot more adjectives.

-Photos texted to me from my husband: While I am away, it is so fun to receive pictures from home to see how things are going.

-Sweet goodbyes

-InterVarsity staff

-Scripture, it is so so so good. Nothing is as life giving.

-A plan to grow in teaching: I am so excited for the next step that my friend Diana and I are going to take. We both love to teach scripture--stay tuned for what this will look like.

-A conversation filled with grace: I don't talk on the phone with my aunt a lot, but Sunday night's conversation was needed and so good. Thanks Ang! I feel loved and cared for!

-God saying no: God has closed the doors on a few things in our life. It is bittersweet, but I am thankful for God's voice, even if it isn't what I always want to hear.

-Hulu: It helps my photo editing time go by faster

-Pumpkin spice coffee, from Biggby, brewed at home. Just as delicious, but cheaper.

-Uncle Jason: While I was gone this weekend, Uncle Jason came to visit his nephew. Should I take offense that he waited till I was gone? :) Just kidding! I know Caleb had a great time, and it is so fun to hear all about their time together. The sword fought all night. Jason's sword was a pillow. Pretty dangerous, huh?  

November 7, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013 

Today I am thankful for:

LECTIO DEVINA. Tonight at InterVarsity's Large Group, we practiced the discipline of Lectio Devina. It has been a few years since I have done it, and boy oh boy did I miss it. And God spoke.

Lectio Devina is the process of reading and listening to God's word very slowly, and over and over, and listening to the Lord.

It was so good tonight. And so refreshing.

Sometime you should ask me what God said. And then we should practice it together:)

November 5 and 6

Month of Thanksgiving 2013

I am a little late posting these, but thankful none the less.

Thankful for:

- Nov. 5: A  God honoring memorial service celebrating the life of a man who loved his God and his family. It wasn't fun to see the family in pain and grieving, but there was such hope, hope from Jesus. I am grateful that pain and sorrow is not forever, that cancer is gone in heaven, and Jesus can be the peace that we all need.

-Nov 6: I am thankful that someday, I will be free from depression and anxiety. That day is not yet, and may not happen here on earth, but I am so grateful that this is not my home, in heaven I will be made complete, and sin will be conquered!

November 4, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving November 2013  

Today I am thankful for:
- a nap. I know I said that the other days this month, sheesh. It's been a hard month already, lots of stuff going on externally and internally, along with kids who are giving up sleep.
-"Caught being a big boy." We are having crazy issues with C. He is being N A U G H T Y. This morning I made a chart, titled, "Caught Being a Big Boy." Every time he did something "big", he could put a star sticker on his chart. Stickers were filling up as he ate well, took a nap, washed hands after going potty, picked up his toys, helped with Chicky, etc. When the chart is filled up, we have a big treat he can pick out.
-Diana, her support friendship and prayers. I am thankful for friends who get me.
-Affirming "circumstances."
-Taking the next steps of obedience, and being blessed.
-He got in the pool! Last year, we signed Caleb up for swimming lessons, but it was torture to get him near the pool. When this year's registrations were up, I was scared. Tonight, was the first night, but he did it.
-Kristy's boot camp....---Started today, working on losing weight....again. I am thankful that today was so easy. Granted, I would have loved to have a gallon of icecream instead of what I ate today, but I was surprised on how good everything tasted today. And I even liked working out:)
-Texting: It just  makes everything easier.

November 3, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013 

Today I am thankful for:

-Daylight savings doesn't happen with kids, they just wake up an hour earlier. So, even though there wasn't much sleep, I am thankful for cheerful kids this morning.
-A pink bow in my girlies curly hair.
-Anita, the nursery worker who passionately loves this kids in her nursery.
-Doing ministry with my husband each Sunday as we serve the youthgroup
-Junior high students...ah, they make me laugh!
-God's still small voice, peace and assurance. I am resting in that tonight.

November 2, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013 

Today I am thankful for:
-A great coffee date with Esther at Biggby. Let''s do it more often.
-A free latte at Biggby today.
-A long nap WITH Caleb.
-A husband who made a french toast dinner and cleaned the bathroom.
-Caleb's imagination, as I watch him build with legos.
- The crazy song, "What does the fox say?" We play it, and an immediate dance party errupts at our house.
- A successful and productive photo editing day.

November 1, 2013

Month of Thanksgiving 2013 

Today, I am thankful for:
-a dependent, caring, patient babysitter
-Melatonin
-great conversations with students on campus today
-Photoshop
-My husband for having a hilarious photo editing idea
-coffee
-God's word and work
-a late Friday nap
 -It's now my birthday month!

The Morning Mommy Challenge

      About a year ago, I read a blog post about this fantastic mamma. She was convicted to get up for her children, not get up to her children. I dreaded hearing the cries of my two year old waking me up, after I had a late night at work. I was beginning to resent my child....resent him for waking up.

     I had to change. I couldn't live a life where I was mad at my son for waking up. I knew that we would have more kids in our house, and my attitude and lifestyle was not going to cut it. Change was a' comin! I began waking up at 6:30. I would sip on some coffee, spend a few minutes with God through prayer and Bible Study, and get started on some work. Over the course of a year, I have gradually gotten up early. *GASP* Monday- Friday, my alarm goes off at 5:30am, and on the days where I am REALLY lucky Miss Chicky Baby wakes me up a 5am.
 
      I NEVER thought I would be the person to wake up so early, but I am realizing I need it. I crave my morning time with the Lord. If I am not filled by Him, how can I possibly give to my kids, to my community and to college students?  Once I hear "Mom!" from my preschoolers bedroom, I am ready to greet him with a big hug and kiss, telling him "Good Morning, I just spent some time praying for you my sweet boy! I am so glad you are awake. Let's do this day!"

 The Process:
1. Plan ahead. I lay things out that I will need the night before. (Bible Study tools, journal, planner, etc)
- Set up the coffee pot.
- Clean the house, so I don't wake up to a mess. Boy, how that can ruin a day quick.
-Go to bed on time. For real. I need a bed time. I need to stick to one! It's much easier to wake up when you are rested.
-Look at my planner? Do I need to do anything to plan for tomorrow?

2. Get out of bed.
-Hitting snooze feels so good, but you will be much more awake if you actually step out of bed. Sometimes I tell myself, "I am just going to walk to the bathroom and back to bed" Usually by the time I get to the bathroom, I am awake enough to go downstairs and turn on the coffee pot.

3. Time with the Lord 
-I spend time in Bible Study, prayer and journaling.

4. Check messages (Email and facebook) 

5. Look at my planner. What is on the agenda today? What do I need to prepare for? 

6. Shower. 
I would love for this to be the first thing I do, to wake me up, but I fear that it will also wake up my 4 year old. I wait to shower until I don't care whether or not he is awake (after 7am).

7. Work 
-If kids are still sleeping, I am able to get some work done. This may or may not happen each day:) The trials and joys of working from home.

The Challenge: This year of getting up early in the morning has been so refreshing and life changing for me. I want to invite all of you, even the non-mommies, or the mommies who don't have kids at home. Starting our day off right, makes a huge difference.

If you are interested in joining me, let me know. I'd love to create a facebook group for accountability and support. Looking forward to seeing more of my friends be changed by the Lord by spending time with Him in the morning hours:)

His Heart

        I am so thankful for my son's sensitive heart. I need to remind myself of that daily, because this kid is sensitive with a capital S. If you look at him wrong, he will burst into great big, uncontrollable tears. I can get frustrated pretty easily, but in the past few weeks, I have been able to see how his sensitive heart may be a great strength and a gift from God. 

       He is quick to ask to pray for someone or about a situation. If an emergency vehicle drives by, he asks, "Where's the fire? Is there an accident? Is someone hurt?" Once we convince him that mom and dad don't know the reason for every siren we hear, he wants to pray because, "If someone is hurt, that's not good. I wouldn't want to be hurt." 

      He is quick to get his feelings hurt, which makes it easier to help him be nice to others. This week he was talking about a kid and said, "I don't like him." We talked about what it would feel like if kids went around saying, "I don't like Caleb." He understood that words hurt. 

     He threw something at a baby on accident. Baby cried, and was quickly soothed. Caleb on the other hand, cried for a good 20 minutes,  hearing an "I'm sorry" through the sobs. 

     Yesterday he was one naughty 3.5 year old. Wow. Crazy naughty. I was sooo frustrated. I yelled a lot. Later in the afternoon we went to the park. I saw with him on a bench, and apologized for yelling at him. I said that what he did was still wrong, but mamma shouldn't have acted that way and I asked for his forgiveness. He put his face in his hands and said, "Can we just not talk about this, it really hurts my heart." 

"It really hurts my heart." 

That struck a chord with this mamma. I know what that feels like. I am a "feeler" vs a "thinker." I understand. It takes one to know one kid.  

And though his emotional side may some days be his greatest weakness, I am praying that God uses his sensitive heart for His glory. A heart that will quickly respond to the Spirit. A heart that will meet the needs of others. 

And for no other reason, except I like them, I leave you with pictures of Caleb and my niece Raegan riding a powerwheels vehicle in the house:) 

Things to Never Say to a Foster Parent

1. What happened to his parents? Why is he in foster care?
        First off, each story is different, and the story belongs to the child. Not you. And be careful how you are asking. There is a huge difference in asking about a baby and a 10 year old.  A 10 year old is already wrestling with why they are being taken away, why mom and dad are not able to care for them. They feel sometimes, like they are to blame. So let's do the kids a service and at the very least not ask those questions in front of them.

2. How long will you have her?
   We don't know. Actually no one knows. Only a judge can decide that, so unless we just went to court, nothing has changed. I'll give you a clue though....very rarely are kids in foster care for less than 6 months, and the hope is to have a permanency plan within a year. Obviously, this is the ideal situation, and doesn't always happen. Also, court hearings happen every 90 days. If there hasn't be a hearing, there is no new news. Just sayin.

3. I could never be a foster parent.
    Why do you say that? Sure, being a foster parent is hard. Totally hard. Lots of appointments, parent visits, loving on kids that may or may not love you back, having bio parents tell you how bad  you are at caring for their children, etc.....    
    There are the days where I think, "no more." I can't deal with the system. I'm done. And then I remember that God has called me to be here. I remember that God gives us strength for the things he calls us to do. It's not about what I have, it's not about what I can do, but it is all about leaning on Jesus and pressing in to Him.
    Is it going to be hard to let go? Sometimes. The baby we have now, will be extremely hard to say goodbye. Isn't that what we want though? If we are so quick to hand over kids and say goodbye, it probably means that we weren't that attached with to begin with. And don't these kids need all the love, attention and support they can get? I will do my best, with the strength of God, to love these kids well, to connect with them, and have them be a part of my family.

4. Those kids are so lucky to have you.
    Enough. This statement just makes foster parents sounds like heroes. We're not. We're broken, messy sinners.

5. I can't believe (foster agency) throws you around like that.
   I get it. I don't get to get frustrated for those things, I signed up for those things. I signed up to get thrown around. Side note: I wish that I didn't get frustrated...but I totally do.

6. Will you keep her?
    What do you mean? Like a puppy? Seriously? Why are you asking that? See #2........we don't know when a child will return home or if they return home. Our answer for this question asked right now of  Miss Chicky baby is "If we get the chance....yes."

I am so thankful that God has called me to be on the foster care road. It's hard, it's lonely, but it is so so worth it. Wanna join me?

Anniversary Week (Wedding!!!)

    So I am a little late on the wedding update......

    We were married on a beach on Lake Huron. It was beautiful, but  incredibly, incredibly, hot. Sooo hot.Whew.  We gave water bottles to every  guest, and had our programs made into fans.

   I love my husband more today than ever before. I could go on and on, but 7 years later, and I am more in love than I ever thought I could be. Here's to at least another 7!

  And for the photo version of our wedding......

After the ceremony there was a mad rush to jump in the lake to cool off. So glad I had a T-length dress on, so I could join them:) 

My sisters and I....all making the same face, that we always make, all the time, and unless someone points it out, we don't even know we are making it:) 

Celebrating Anniversary Week (The College Years and Engagement)

     Jon and I went to different colleges, he was at Oakland University, and I went to to the best school known to man, Central Michigan University. Being apart was so good and so needed. We had no intention of ever getting back together.

     We both loved college. InterVarsity was a huge part of both of our college experiences. We both grew a ton spiritually during college. We learned who we were apart from each other, and were able to start being the people God had created us to be. Our paths crossed a little bit in college. Because we were both a part of InterVarsity, we would see each other at conferences, and when we would be at home at church, but that's it. I thought we we were done forever.

     We don't have very many "college age" pictures together, because we were not together for most of college, but because it's fun to go back in the past, I will bring some out of the vault:)

Jon: In the red:) Guys from college.

   And some of me from college.....

Me and my college roommate...spring break trip to Florida. Also fun fact....this is the trip where I met my future brother in law (didn't know it at the time). 

Krista and Kristin!!! My very best friend!!! We spent LOTS of time together in college....... awww.... miss you 1/5. 

Part of my InterVarsity chapter...

Back Together 

   Basically because Facebook was invented, Jon and I got back together. You know, basically. That an AOL instant messenger. Remember that, friends? We started chatting online....I spent tons of time online in college. I worked the front desk of my dorm, and sometimes it was overnight hours, leaving me nothing to do but look at the computer in front of me.... We started sending messages back and forth.  

  One weekend, Jon decided to come to Mt. Pleasant , we would go out and catch up and go from there. And that was all folks. Once we saw each other again, it was like we were the same people, but totally different. We both had grown up, we matured, we spent time a part, and yet what attracted us to each other from the beginning was still there. And I was hooked on that man. 

Circa 2004: Jon and I with a bunch of mutal friends from church 

This picture cracks me up!!!  We took my baby sister and his little brother go carting, putt putt golfing and to the batting cages.. 

The Engagement  

     Remember my best friend Krista? Yah, she was conspiring with Jon on the proposal.....and my roommate (Tiffany pictured above) also had to be in on it...... 

     It was a yucky Sunday. I had stayed up the late the night before. Krista and I went to church on Sunday morning. We were supposed to get all dressed up and go out for a girls night that evening. I tried to get out of it. I so just wanted to have a night at home by myself in my apartment. I was so tired. And had so much homework to get done.  And seriously....a Sunday night....lets just plan for something the next week.  

    Somehow Krista convinced me that it was a good idea to go out. She told me to get ready and she called and said she would be by in a minute. There was a knock on my apartment door. I opened it, totally expected it to be Krista, and it was Jon, dressed in a suit, with flowers. I was shocked. He lives two hours away. It was Sunday night, he had class and work early on Monday morning. What was he doing here? 

  

    "Ready? We have reservations" he said, like I was expecting him. Alrighty....perfect. We went to a classy place for dinner. He had convinced me that this was not a proposal dinner, but simply an act to prove that he can indeed surprise me. I ordered lobster. The one and only time I have ever had lobster in my life:)  

    We went back to my apartment. When we walked in, there were flowers all over the place, candles going, and music playing. What in the world? How did he do that? Who had keys to my apartment??? While we were at dinner, Krista came and decorated:))) We were dancing to the cd he made for me. Our song came on....he sung it to me, dropped down to one knee and proposed. 

     To this day, he will not let me live this down. I told him "No," After all, he did convince me that this was not the proposal day, so he obviously was not really asking me to be his wife. Except he was. And I didn't believe him. I did say "yes" later:)  

    I got so excited that I knocked some candles  over. Luckily no fire, just lots of melted wax all over my carpet. Oops.    

   We were engaged for 9 months, about 6 months too long. It was a crazy hard time for us. To this day, I will encourage anyone I know that is engaged to not have a long engagement. I'll save my sob story for another post. I gave my ring back for a few days and I didn't think we would make it to the wedding.  Being engaged was soooo overrated. So glad we are past that:))  

Next up: WEDDING!!!!  Stay tuned. 

Celebrating Anniversary Week -- High School Years Edition

I know, the quality of picture is insanely bad......but, hopefully you can see it:) 

         This week, Jon and I are celebrating seven years of marriage. I am excited to share some of our story with you....and the subsequent pictures that go along with the story.

       My grandma says that our story started in 1992 when Jon was in third grade. My grandma was Jon's third grade teacher, and she swears to this day, that she talked with Jon's parents about marrying me when he was in her class. I don't remember that AT ALL. I don't remember meeting Jon until I was in 6th grade. Our families went to the same church, and we grew up in youth group together.

        Sometime during my freshman year in high school, Jon and I were interested in each other. My parents had a no dating rule until I was 16, and truthfully, I was grateful for that. I didn't really know what dating meant....I didn't know what to do. I would be out of town for my 16th birthday, so a few days before Jon showed up at my house with a birthday card. It was simple. And sweet. And still, we weren't dating. We started dating a month after my birthday.
 
        High school was rough. We were very interested in each other, and loved spending time together, but as teens, we were on again, and off again...a lot. I don't know how many times we broke up, and got back together.  We both had our own demons and struggles. This played a pretty huge role in our relationship. When I graduated high school, we broke up "for good." Actually, it was the day of my graduation open house. Good memory, huh? It was also the day Jon gave me my graduation gift: a beautiful tennis bracelet, that took me 2 seconds to lose.

       I'll get more into the college years in my next post, but breaking up after I graduated was absolutely needed. We both had some serious things we needed to work on, and we really were not loving each other well.

     

Jon and I went to two different high schools and were a year apart. Because of this, we went to A LOT of dances. My parents were so glad that I could wear those expensive dresses twice:)

- 5 homecomings
-4 proms
-3 Winterfests

Next up: College Edition

And out of nowhere, I have pneumonia

On Tuesday of last week, I was crazy busy from 10am-9pm with photo shoots. It was awesome. The day I dream for. Around 6pm I started getting a migraine. I thought it was from dehydration and not eating super well throughout the day. I kept feeling more and more sick.

Wednesday morning when I woke up, I was in so much pain, I couldn't take a breath without it feeling like someone was stabbing me. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. Seriously? How did I not know that it was coming? And how does one get pneumonia in the middle of June?

The cure: Rest lots. Sleep a lot. Really?

Those medical people, they are pretty funny. Sleep seems like a rarity at our house. But my husband took those orders VERY seriously. He was my nurse, cook and took total care of the kids, and I slept. A LOT.

I am so grateful for a husband to let me sleep. I know that is the only reason why I am functioning as well as I am. I was so rested over the weekend. I want to still be able to get some rest during the day, because I don't want to relapse, but my amazing husband definitely set me up for success.

Just another reason why I love him!

Because someday, he'll get it.

Caleb is a trooper. Because of parenting time that Chicky has, and the random DHS, and life "errands", we are in the car a lot. A typical conversation. And when I say typical ---every single time we get in the car.... 

C: "Mom, why did Jesus die?" 

Me: "We just talked about that. Can you tell me why?" 

C: "Mom, why did Jesus die?" 

Me: "He died because there was brokenness and sin in the world. By dying on the cross, he paid for the sin and brokenness." 

C: "The world is broken? And Jesus fixed it?" 

Me: "Yes. And No. There is still more." 

C: "I want Jesus back." 

Me: "That;s the best news. He died, and rose again, so He lives in our heart. We can get to know Him by praying and spending time learning the Bible." 

C: "If want my sin. That was Jesus wouldn't have to die. And we could be friends." 

Me:"See, that's the thing. With sin in our lives, we can't be friends with Jesus. Now we can." 

C: "BUT I CAN'T SEE HIM! I want him back."  

     "Did the solider kill Jesus?"  

      "Why did Jesus die?" 

I am not in kids ministry for a reason. I so value and appreciate those who can put great Biblical truth into words that little ones can understand. I can't. The first ten or so  above conversations we had were frustrating. It was the exact same conversation over and over. 

And then I realized, it was the exact conversation over and over. 

He was remembering. He was somehow linking pieces. 

And we will keep having this conversation until the end of time. It is the most important one I could ever have. Someday he'll get it. He'll understand the cross. He will see the brokenness in the world. He will see Jesus as Redeemer, and I will sit back and remember the good ol' minivan days, where his mind started asking all of these questions. 

It is so worth having the same conversation over and over. Because, someday, he'll get it. And I will be praising Jesus. 

When Worship is Hard

If you know me at all, you will know how shocking this statement is:

"I love my mornings." 

Really. Truly. It has taken about 1.5 years, but I have finally, most days, been in a good morning routine. Part of this time is spent with the Lord (and crazy amounts of coffee). I adore the early quiet hours of studying the Word, spending time in prayer, and journaling, before the littles in my house wake up.

It is then, that all is right with the world. It is then, that worship seems so easy. Quietness in my heart and house kind of worship. An "I give you my day," statement of worship.

And then the crazies that live in my house wake up. And I need to remember that my attitude in my heart and what I display to my children is also worship.

But that is when worship is the hardest. 

When I am in the shower and I hear Caleb say, "Mom, I just slipped in my room."
"What did you slip on?"
"The slippery stuff. Well, I just peed in my room and then fell."
"Mommy is in the shower. Get here in the bathroom. Sit down and have a time out." 

Only to find all the rolls of toliet paper.....unrolled.

This is when worship is hard. 

Or when a cup of yogurt is thrown across my dining room (ahem, freshly mopped floors.)

This is when worship is hard.

Or, when I have a baby who is constipated and has literally screamed for 24 hours. ( Do the math= no sleep for this mamma). And don't worry people, we use pear juice in this house, and we have poop!

When I am tired....this is when worship is hard.

Or when I put my three year old down for a nap, and hear crashing noises, only to find out, he has emptied his drawers, thrown his books, and moved his bed. GO. TO. SLEEP. For the love, go to sleep.

When nap time is cut....worship is hard.

Or when my house looks like a college guy's dorm room......

This is when it is hard to worship.

Or, when during a time out Caleb says, "I just went potty on the stairs because I was mad at you"

It's hard to worship.

Or when I feel like I haven't done anything significant today....

During the mundane trials of mommyhood, wifedom and home ownership, it is so good to reminded to take every thought and make it captive to Christ. If I am not glorifying God in my mind, I will not be glorifying Him in my actions.

These summer days are L O N G. And hard.

To all my mommy friends, may this be an encouragement to you, to start your day before your kids wake up. Don't wake up to your kids, wake up FOR your kids. It took me a while to get used to it and learn the difference, but I absolutely treasure my time in the morning with no kiddos.

The last two days at our house have been one for the books, but I know my attitude would be so much worse, had I not spent time with the Lord, giving Him my day, spending time in His word and being still.

So let's press on, shall we?

It is well with my soul

  As the weeks go on, many of you have asked what is new with our little Chicky Baby. There is NOTHING new. I promise. This is how foster care works, for better or for worse. The next time we will hear anything about Chicky's case will be the end of August. Until then, she will be living with us, loved on by us, spoiled, cared for, prayed for and will be a part of our family. We are praying and hoping that she gets to be a part of our family forever. 

  But, that may not happen. It is completely up to a judge, (and some other factors we won't get into). And if we don't get to raise Chicky as our daughter forever, it is ok. 

  It is well with my soul. 

  Really. 

 God has done a complete heart transformation. This little girl that is living at my house and occupies so much of my heart, has always been the Lord's. As much as I love her, and think I know that is best for her, God loves her so much more than I can comprehend. 

  It really comes down to whether or not I believe God is sovereign, in control and good. If He really is those things, then what reason to have to doubt?  

  Lord, it is well with my soul. 

 

  If we adopt Chicky, or if we don't. 

  Thank you Lord for bringing me to this place of peace! I know there will be hardship, but You have shown Yourself faithful and trustworthy. I will walk in Your truth and put my trust in You through this situation. 

 In the end, let my heart say, "It is well with my soul." 

Such is life....

Are ya'll ready for some random Monday? Like really random? 

My house is quiet right now. Seriously quiet. The only noise I hear is my cat purring. #introvertsdream #2kidsnapping. Ahhh, sweet sweet bliss! 

I have blue nail polish on my toes right now. I love it. Yay summer. 

I am absolutely obsessed with having a baby girl in my house. I mean, seriously. DYING over the pink, and bows, and headbands. Aside from the sheer cuteness of this baby. LOVE! 

Speaking of which, there is no news on Chicky Baby. Still in the waiting period for the courts. She is definitely a part of our family. Yesterday Jon and Caleb went to church before Chicky and I. I was feeding Chicky on the couch and Caleb brought her some of his toys and said, "I am leaving now, but I will let you have my toys. Don't be sad." 

Again. I die. 

And today, they were laying on a blanket together. I got my camera out and started snapping pics. Caleb said, "Ok good. Take a picture of us, because we are best friends." He gave her a big kiss and said, "Isn't that right girl? We are best friends." 

LOVE! 

I am so glad that Caleb is having lots of cute moments, because this season of life is pretty hard right now. He picked up a lot of behavioral issues from G, our 9 year old foster son that was with us. It has been hard undoing those things. We have been back and forth on wondering what is going on. Are we bad parents? Is he stubborn? Is he harder than normal kids? Is this whole stage normal? The more we looked at it, and observed him, the more we could see how he is mirroring G. G would get physically and verbally violent when he was angry. And so does Caleb.  

So, in the mean time, mom is coping by taking naps. Seriously. If you know me at all, you know I like sleep. And if you really know me, you know that my main coping mechanism is sleep. Sooooo......I took 2-3 naps last week, and I can guarantee I will have a nap today. 

I started running. Again. I hate the starting/stopping. I love running, just don't have the discipline to do it everyday. And I don't have a two kid jogging stroller, and C isn't great on a bike. That leaves going when Jon gets home, and well, sometimes I have stuff to do then. 

Last week, the InterVaristy students that I work with went to camp without me. I stayed home and cared for Chicky baby. It was one of the hardest decisions. I am still not sure I made the right decision. It was hard. I LOVE camp week. It is such a great week to be  right on the front lines of God working in the lives of college students. I love that there are hours of teaching that I get to be a part of. I love the exposition times. And I missed it this week.  

And there you have it friends....a very random update:) 

Project Pinterest and Romans 8

A few weeks ago, I mentioned my self-proclaimed Pinterest Project. The plan is to do one "pinned" item from Pinterest each week.

This week, I have started praying these for Caleb and Chicky Baby. It isn't really a project, but it is certainly something I have pinned:)

Remember when I wrote about memorizing Romans 8?  Well, I am still doing it. It has been a S L O W process. Some of it because of my lack of discipline, and some of it, because of the wording of verse 3. SO confusing. BUT, I got it. With the Lord's help, I am LOVING the discipline of hiding His Word in my heart.

Have a great weekend folks!

Just a Thursday morning chat

Right now, my three year old is having the tantrum of  a lifetime. It has lasted an hour, and there has been much destruction, screaming, kicking and hitting in our house (all by him).  Whew, that is all I want to say about that right now.

Instead, why not a little update on life....

Chicky baby is doing awesome. I am totally in love with her. Even in the late night feedings, I am so content just holding her and snuggling her.  She is such a blessing to our family. And today....she is going to get a little photo shoot. Unfortunately, I can't post them publically, but if you want to email me, I might be able to show some of you the sweet pictures of my baby girl.

I have been asking God to give me some scripture to lean on and trust in during this turbulent foster care/possible adoption process with Chicky baby. To my surprise, He has led me to the story for Joseph. This will be a totally separate post at another time, but clinging to the Word has brought such peace, such hope and trust in Jesus.

Guess what came in the mail yesterday??? A MOBY WRAP!!! Ia m so excited and a little overwhelmed that I don't know how to use it:) I love surprises on my doorstep, especially from my best friend:) Thanks Krista!

Alrighty, I need to go deal with this three year old. This is going to be a long day folks.

A Prayer Team for my Chicky Baby

Every once in a while, I feel like God is really speaking to me. I have spent the last week praying and seeking the Lord about Chicky Baby. (Caleb has named BabyGirl "Chicken). I have been asking how we should proceed. It is always a weird process to pray for an adoption to happen, especially through foster care. In order for us to adopt a child, it means that their biological parents, for whatever reason could not take care of them. That is a hard pill to swallow and humbles me on most days. 

Throughout this week, God has been challenging me to build a team of pray-ers for Chicky Baby. Not just people who throw random wishes and hopes up to the heavens, but people who will be on their knees, seeking the Lord, and hearing His voice for us in this situation. 

God has confirmed that it is indeed His desire that we pray that this adoption goes through. 

First challenge: This week..... 

-Chicky Baby is coming home today. 

-Caleb will meet his chicken for the first time:) 

-There is a court hearing this week. 

So friends, if you want to join this prayer team, let me know. You will receive more  information than what is available on this blog. 

A Baby Girl! (Maybe)

We have a baby girl (maybe). That, unforutately will be my mantra until the adoption is finalized. There is so much up in the air with this case, and I want to guard my heart, but also....so so so excited that this is a very real possibility.

There is so much I want to write on here, and yet, because of Baby A being an open foster care case, I just can't.

Before you jump all over me, and say, "Say what....you said you were taking a break," let me put your minds at ease.
1. We are still taking a break. Baby A is still in the hospital, and could be for a while. We really don't know.

2. It has been four weeks already.

3. We took a break from foster care, not adoption.

4. I \told God," we'll take a break, but if you bring us a newborn, baby girl who can be adopted, we will say yes."

We don't know much. Baby A was born 4 weeks premature, addicted to drugs. She is still in the hospital, gaining weight and going through drug withdrawl. Parents rights will be terminated soon. the agency has asked us to pursue adoption with her, though not guaranteeing that no family members will be stepping forward.

We have not met Baby A. That may be the hardest part. She is in the hospital, but her mom and dad right now are visiting her, and the agency doesn't know if it would be a good idea for us to run into them. Ah. Not a good idea to tell me, "Hey you're a mom, but you can't meet her."

So that's it folks. I wish there was more to tell you, but there's not.

I already know that if the adoption fails, my heart will be broken. I am already attached to this girl I have never met. I already love her. She is already mine.

Except she's not. She is God's daughter. God has the right to choose whether or not we get to raise her as our daughter or not. And I am really ok with that. I know that if the adoption fails, I will be hurt, but I am so sure that God is in control in this....even if the outcome is not what I want.

So pray friends!
-Pray that Baby A will gain weight and withdraw quickly from drugs.
-Pray that she would bond quickly with us and know us well.
-Pray that parents rights would be terminated quickly
-Pray that we would work well with all caseworkers involved.


THANKS!