Let's Talk About Sex

Sorry for my parents and my grandma who read this blog. You might want to check back at a later date:)

Is your mind going here?  Because my mind totally did. And now I am listening to that song, and will probably listen to it, over and over and over. I think it might be my theme song for the week.

This upcoming weekend, the InterVarsity chapter that I staff will be having a Girls Night. We will be making smoothies, doing nails, facials, eating junk and talking about sex. I can't wait.

The girls are to think of any question they have, write it down and give it to me. In the next week I will be thinking about ways to answer their questions.

I love talking about sex. I think we are too quiet about this great gift that God has given us. I want to help students understand this great gift, to be excited to share this with their spouse only, and if they have experienced  things that were not made for marriage, I want them to experience healing and the redemption of Jesus.

I want them to know that sex is good, that God has created it, and to help them to have a biblical basis for marriage.

I am so excited! So so so excited. And a little intimidated. It's not like I am a sexpert or anything. I am far from that, but I do want to be a voice of truth.

So, who's joining me on Saturday?

A Sunny Saturday Morning

It may be sunny, yes, but very very chilly. My neighbor just walked into my house, saying, "COLD, COLD," and promptly came over to my dining room table and rested his hands above the flames of the burning candles.

I am enjoying a rare moment of quiet. Caleb is taking a morning nap, (this rarely happens), and Jon went to the run some errands. This leaves me with my coffee and stillness. Just enough to fit a blog post it.

I wish I had something interesting to share, but I don't. Thus, the random bullet points.

• I LOVE COFFEE. 
• This weekend, I have a few hours of work with students, and the rest is MINE. Cannot wait. 
• I wish I was more artistic. I am meeting with my students today and we will be making a proxe station. I hope they are more artistic than me:) A proxe station is an interactive way to engage in spiritual conversations using art and the Gospel. More on that later. 
• Wednesday mornings are my favorite mornings of the week. I spend them with 3 beautiful women, inside and out, drinking coffee, laughing, crying, experiencing mommyhood and studying the Bible together. 
• I am glad that Photoshop is on my desktop computer, in my office and not on my laptop. Otherwise I think I might be caught driving with my laptop open trying to edit photos. Ok, I am not THAT addicted, but I am LOVING what I am learning, and the possibility of helping others to have beautiful photos of their family. 
• Speaking of which, I am starting a photography business. That's right folks!!!! It is a beautiful story of how God has weaved three lives, three stories and 1 passion together. Read more about it here. 
• I have almost scrapped all of 2010 
• I made a meal this week, that "had potential." I really want to make it again to redeem my efforts.  (Sage and Apple pork chops with red skinned potatoes) 
• My boy is finally, finally, finally getting out of this severe tantrum phase. I know that with kids, there are many phases, and I know that we are not done with tantrums, but perhaps for this season...for a few days at least. 
• Caleb got his hair cut yesterday, and was absolutely miserable,but he looks SOOO handsome right now. 
• I want to scrub my floors. Maybe tonight. 
• I want to clean my bedroom. Maybe tonight. 
• I want to edit pictures. Definitely tonight.

Maybe I do need to realign my priorities:)

Why I had to drink 1 day old coffee yesterday and no coffee today

I grew up thinking Lent was bad. It was something that Catholics did, and because I was not Catholic, I should not do it.

In the past few years, I have been experiencing the beauty of Lent. Every year, for 40 days, I can "do something" that will strengthen my faith, grow my knowledge of God, give something up in remembrance of what Jesus did on the cross, or simply use the 40 Days to be disciplined in my spiritual life.

This year, World Vision has set up series of stories and exercise to help people to engage with justice in scripture, with God's heart for justice and the disadvantaged. Each morning I have an email waiting for me with something to pray for, to do, read, or video to watch.

This week we learned about "worth-less-ness" through this story. We were challenged to give up something this week that would show "worth." We decided that we don't really think much about our food. We can easily run to the grocery store and get whatever we want, whenever we want.

The Plan......

On Sunday, when we received the email we decided that we would not spend any money on food until the following Sunday. NO MONEY on FOOD! NO MONEY ON DRINKS! And no, our cupboards were not  stocked full with fresh groceries on Sunday afternoon. We also decided that we could give up meat, because most people who are hungry don't have meat as an option:)

The results.....

• We are using food in our house that we have forgotten about. Frozen veggies, pasta, rice, cans of soup, etc. 
• We have saved money 
• We realize how blessed and spoiled we are. We can get to the store whenever we want to get whatever we want. Do you know how many people around the world aren't able to do that? 
• I find myself not wasting anything. I made coffee on Wednesday and did not drink the whole pot. When I woke up Thursday morning I knew that there was no coffee left and that I could not go to the store. I poured it out of the pot, put it the microwave and wham. Best coffee ever? Nope. It did the job, and I am learning to be grateful in everything. 
• I have learned that I really can do without. So often, I think I "need" something and I am quickly reminded of those who live on $1 day or less. 
• If we can live on less, and grocery shop less, and spend less, then we can give more. Simple math. We need to give more. How selfish of me to be upset that I had no coffee to brew this morning, (and won't until the very earliest Monday morning) and yet there are people around the world who are literally starving to death. Ok, you can have my morning coffee money!! Lord, give me an attitude of generosity! 

Other things you should know about this journey....

• I have had some things given to me that I have consumed. On Wednesday my boss bought me lunch, today I had some coffee from my pastor, and tomorrow I have already paid for my meals at an all day scrap event. 
• Lent is a beautiful thing and I am pretty sure I will celebrate it for the rest of my life.

The Race Race (More Thoughts on DUP)

Detroit Urban Plunge

One of the very first things we did with students when they arrived on Friday night was a "simulation." InterVarsity uses simulations during many of our trainings. We like to say that though the simulation is contrived, the feelings and emotions are real. Basically, we put students through some questions/experiences, etc to help them dig up some emotions that will help them know themselves better.

I know, it is confusing. And I a failing at communicating well.

At any rate, we did "The Race Race" simulation Sunday night. I was prepared, read over my notes, and have even done it before with students, but as always was surprised at how I responded, and how students responded.

Some of the questions we asked were....

• When you were growing up, were most of the images in the textbooks people that looked like you? 

• Can you make a reservation at a restaurant and not wonder if people of your race are welcomed and treated well there? 

• Can you buy greeting cards with people that look like you and resemble your race? 

• If you are stopped by the police, can you be sure that your race will not be counted against you? 

• If you ask to see the person in charge, will it be someone of your race? 

These are literally just a handful that I chose from. I am always amazed at the backgrounds that students come from. I am amazed at how broken our world is and how people have dealt with hurt that  I will never experience.

The above questions are about race, but during this simulation we talked about gender and socio-economics. I was taken back about how deep of an issue gender is for me. I often push it to the back burner, but when some of the simulation questions were asked, it pierced my wounded heart.

I am so grateful for InterVarsity. I am grateful for not only their willingness to step into the trenches and hard areas of life, but to fight for reconciliation. I am so glad that I get to be part processing through that with students as they grapple with identity. I am even grateful for the way these issues pour salt into some of my wounds.

Not always fun.

Always worth it.

A different alarm clock (Some DUP Thoughts)

More on the Detroit Urban Plunge----

Let paint the scene for you, shall I? On Saturday we were worked hard. We were working on a house, doing all kinds of crazy things. Painting, sanding walls, sanding stairs, installing a kitchen island, cleaning out the garage, taking things to the dumpster, everything to get this house in living conditions. It was cold and wet. Students were tired. When we went back to the church we had dinner and studied Amos. I tried to remember how tired they were when I was teaching Amos and more than a few were falling asleep.

Most of us were exhausted.....and yet, somehow college students manage to stay up late, even when they are tired. Besides, we had church the next morning, but not until 11, and all we had to do was to get ready and to walk  into the next room. (We went to church in the building that we were staying at). We knew that there was a 9am service, but were told this was for the old folks, it was....how did they describe it? Quieter?

I was already awake by 9. I am so glad that I was, because I WILL NEVER GET THIS PICTURE OUT OF MY HEAD. All around my room were 10 girls who were sleeping on the floor. When the worship started in the church, it was like a fire alarm went off. The girls jumped up, wondering what the noise was, some said "make that noise stop." There was some comforting, assuring one another that worship only last a few minutes and it would be quiet soon.

All the while, I am laughing inside. And if you have ever been in an African American church, then you would have been laughing with me.

Because you would know that worship can easily easily go on for 2 or more hours and incredible levels of volume and energy.

You would know that these girls had no chance in going back to sleep.

And you would know that if this was the "quiet" service, they were in for a treat during the 11a service.

And they were. I think it might have been one of the best experiences for these suburban, non-African American students to be in an African American church. What a picture of heaven with the nations coming together.

And then.....I heard many of them were shocked at the "quietness" of their home churches the following Sunday. Yes, friends, me too.

Urban Gardens (Thoughts on DUP continued)

Getting sick of hearing my stories about the Detroit Urban Plunge? If you are, take a break from reading this blog and resume reading next week, because I've got a lot to share, ya'll!!

You have 10 seconds to shout out as many adjectives as possible when thinking about Detroit---set go.
1. Poor
2. Concrete
3. Fox Theatre
4. Woodward
5. Red Wings
6. Broken
7. Traffic
8. Abandoned

Like my list? I am surprised about the Red Wings. I am NOT a hockey fan, but somehow that popped into my head.

I learned something about Detroit this week that completely has shifted my view and has given me ideas on how to implement it in my own community.

Detroit currently has 1000 Urban Gardens. You read that right. ONE THOUSAND URBAN GARDENS.

In backyards, on abandoned lots, in community spaces, etc, people are cultivating, planting and growing produce in gardens.

Why?

Why not?

No, really. Lots of reasons.
1. There is a serious lack of grocery stores and fresh produce within the city limits. Many people need to leave the city to get produce, travel a longer distance, so they simply shop at convenience stores for food.

2, Think about the community being built when neighbors come together for a common purpose, for the better ing of the community? What a great way to build relationships with those you live near.

3. Provides a new way of income.

Some of the Urban Gardens serve the neighborhoods in which they are grown, some people sell the produce at farmers markets, and there are even a few produce trucks/vans that drive through neighborhoods selling fresh produce, much like an ice cream truck.

Cool, huh?

Yah, I thought so.

Now only if I could convince my neighbors to start one so I can live off the fruit of their labor:) Trust me, we could not live of my garden.

My Heros (DUP continued)

On Sunday night, during the Detroit Urban Plunge, I met my heroes.

I walked into a single family home on Detroit's east side, immediately my nostrils were filled with the satisfying smells of soul food. Mmmmm soul food. They call it soul food because it is good for your soul, not your hips, you know:)

One woman, that's right folks, one woman spent the whole weekend prepping and making a huge soul food meal for 30 people (22 of those being bottomless pits, hungry college students). We had TONS of left overs. She gave some to us, and some to her family members.

The food was to die for. I have been saying that I want to make some good soul food so I can show the world  that I am a real black mamma, and boy oh boy, did this woman help to motivate me.

But that's not why she is my hero.

The woman on the far right is the glorious cook!

 

 

 

I could have talked with these women all night long. Sadly we had to leave, otherwise I think I would have stayed the night.

The woman in the black sweater fostered 37 children and adopted four. The woman in the black and white shirt fostered over 50 children and adopted four, 2 of which were white. I enjoyed hearing their stories, their struggles with raising and parenting all of these children, their frustrations with a broken social system, stories about raising and adopting children of another race and listening to their advice.

I thought I came to Detroit to help the city. Perhaps to help students engage in the city, to lead them and to help them process. I never thought that I would meet my heroes in Detroit.

May I seek to have their heart for the children without families and without homes. May my heart break like theirs did and still does. May I seek justice for the broken system. May I always follow God's leading.

Some thoughts on DUP

DUP (Detroit Urban Plunge) 

I work with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. During spring break, I staffed a project in Detroit with students from Albion College, Michigan State and Grand Valley State University. I will be posting lots of posts as I process what God did in the past week at DUP.

The purpose of the trip was multi-faceted. We wanted to help students build community within their own chapters with their schools, as well as community with those they don't know. We wanted students to experience and learn what God says about justice. We spent several hours studying the whole book of Amos in a few short days! We wanted them to experience and see a broad view of Detroit. Some of Detroit is very, very broken. Other parts of Detroit, are complete gems that people forget about.

What did we actually do this week? 
Friday-  We all got there safe!! We stayed at a church on the east side of the city, our cars were in a gated parking lot, so they would not get broken into. All 22 of us slept on the floors of the church, and shared one shower:)  We had a simulation that helped our students deal with issues of race, socio-economic classes, and gender and then sent students into small groups to process that simulation.

Saturday- We worked with Central Detroit Christian, an AWESOME ministry in the city. We worked on rennovating a house in the city. I fell in love with old school Detroit homes. They were absolutely beautiful. Granted, the house we were working on was boarded up, as well as many of the surrounding homes, but it was stunning. You could tell that there was so much work put into designing and building that house back in the day. We did get a lot accomplished. We prepped the house to paint (taping, filling in cracks,) painted, cleaned out the garage, sanded stairs and walls, and installed an island in the kitchen. You can do a lot when you have 22 extra people working on your house. We ended the evening with dinner, studying Amos and small group processing time.

Sunday- We wanted the students to experience Sabbath. So often in our busy lives, we forget that God has created the Sabbath, it is something to be enjoyed, it is a command in fact! We slept in and went to church. Most of our students have never been in a African American church before, it was really interesting to see their responses. From there, we went downtown to the Detroit Institute of Arts. After the DIA, we went to a home in Detroit, where we were graciously greeted with a soul food dinner. WHEW! Were we ever blessed! And full, very, very full. And now I need to not eat for a month. I need to learn to cook some of this soul food  (fried chicken, loaded mashed potatoes, bean casserole, greens, corned beef, mac and cheese, peach cobbler, pecan pie......is your mouth watering yet?) Back to the church for more Amos.

Monday- We went back to Central Detroit Christian. They have a warehouse where Bed, Bath and Beyond and Home Depot donate goods. They then sell those goods from about 90% off sticker price to families in Detroit to help them beautify their homes. The warehouse was filled with boxes, from months of shipments. We went through the boxes, sorted things and organized shelves. When we were done, some of us, MIGHT have went shopping in the warehouse. How can you pass up a $300 knife set for $20, or a $100 pan set for $7, or in my case, a $75 coffee bean grinder for $5. Really? Yah, so we went "shopping" and made our donations to CDC. Came back to the church, had some dinner, studied Amos, had a speaker come in and talk about living intentionally in the city and sent the students to small groups for processing.

Tuesday- In the morning and Albion grad and her husband who live in the city came and talked to us about what living intentionally in the city looks like. They talked about both challenges and successes, joys and sorrows. The students loved them, their story was wonderful. We took the students to the African American History Museum, which by the way, is one of my favorite parts of Detroit.It is an amazing place, kind of like a walking theatre:) Later, students went to 2 different soup kitchens to prepare, serve and clean up dinner, and mingle and socialize with its patrons. Ended the night with Amos and small groups (sensing a theme?)

Wednesday- Students went to 2 different soup kitchens ( a Drug Rehab/Training Center, and a Prison Rehab, Training Center). They came back, at some lunch, and we studied Amos:) We took the students to Greek Town! LOVE Greek Town. Students got to see a new part of the city, experience Opa! (Flaming Cheese), enjoy great food and fellowship in the city. We finished Amos tonight!

Thursday--easy morning. We watched a video on urban ministry, students met one last time in small groups, we packed, cleaned the church and left.

And I drove. And drove, and drove.

And then I took a nap.

I will be posting several posts on Detroit. Anything in particular that you want to hear about?

Lent is on

This year, Jon and I are doing something different for Lent. We are joining World Vision, and pursuing what the Gospel says about justice.

This came in my email today from World Vision. May it be a blessing to you.