"I Do Cheerios"

We are definitely in the idependent, "I can do all by myself, CAY-YUB, do it" stage. 

Even eating cereal. 

It makes mommy a little on the crazy side. 

A Snowy Day

SNOW DAY! SNOW DAY! SNOW DAY!!!!!!

What? A snow day doesn't mean I get to eat extra treats? 

This is what I got when I said, "SMILE" 

Lent 2012- Day 1: Be An Advocate

If you asked me (before today) what I would be an advocate for, I easily would have said human trafficking. 

The fact that there are more slaves today than during the trans atlantic slave trade, the fact that slavery is a very real evil in every state in the US , the fact that humans are treated like commodities, piss me off. Forgive the language, but I cannot find a more accurate "clean" word to describe the brokenness of my heart and the anger that is stirred when I hear and speak about human trafficking. 

And then I watch this video. And it changed everything. 

I did not have to spend any time processing or praying, I knew exactly what it is that God wants me to be an advocate for. 

It should be obvious, really. It keeps me up at night. It has been the cause of countless tears, screaming at the Lord (Why, Lord?!?! How long will you let this go on?) It has been the source of so many prayers, so many conversations, so much frustration, so much heartache. It is what causes my stomach to churn and for my fighting fists to go up. 

The issue: Orphans. Children and teens in foster care. Adoptable children.  

And all along, I thought it was be being judgmental. I had no idea that God was beginning to show me His heart on this issue. I had no idea that my feelings were a reflection of the perfect, holy, God that loves those kids far more than I ever will. 

I was reading in Romans 8, and about creation groaning. All of creation groans, because the glory of God is not revealed or displayed. I can picture all of these children, and I am G R O A N I N G. A pain that cannot be ignored. A pain that demands sacrifice and action.  And then I think about Jesus. How He must hurt. How He must be saying to the Father, "How long? How long until we go back and make all things new?" 

Here I am groaning. How long Lord? 

And I am reminded of the call placed on my life a long time ago, to be a home for orphans. 

Period.

Even if it is hard (which it will be).

Even if my feelings are hurt. 

Even if we can't adopt everyone. 

Even if it means sleepless nights for the rest of my life. 

Even if it means that we have kids and teens with "issues." 

Even if  it is hard. 

Even if it doesn't make sense. 

Even if I can't figure out how to be on staff with InterVarsity, have a photography business, do ministry in church and be a family. 

Even if I have to drive to endless visits of counseling and therapy. 

Even if I am sick. 

Even if I don't want to. 

Because the way of the cross isn't dependent on my will. 

Because in the end, my feelings don't really matter all that much.  Jesus didn't ask any of us to follow Him on this easy road, but told us to take up our cross (Sacrifice) and follow Him, no matter what. 

Join me for Lent

Throughout my life, Lent has never been a part of my spiritual life. I grew up in a very Catholic town, so I was very aware of Lent, and went to the St. Mary's fish fry dinners on Friday nights almost every week as a kid with my parents and grandparents. That still does not constitute celebrating Lent. 

I celebrate Advent, and have been a part of churches that celebrate Advent. Advent is beautiful as each week we prepare ourselves for the coming King. Doesn't it just make sense that we would do the same as we prepare and worship the One who takes away the sins of the world? If it wasn't for Easter, Christmas is not all that important. 

I do think there is a significant difference between half heartedly giving up addictive items for Lent, and looking carefully at the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross and deciding to sacrifice as a response. 

This year World Vision and InterVarsisty have partnered together to create a "Lent Experience." They don't say experience, I do, because I am not sure what to call it. If I had to call it something other than experience, it would be Bible Study/Prayer Time/Process Time/Watching Videos/Learning about sacrifice/Seeing how other people sacrifice/ Actually sacrificing/ sacrificing with other people/advocation/education.  Experience sounds better, right? 

The Experience can be as little or as much as you want to make it. Each week of Lent (6 weeks) is a different theme. 

Check out the website Watch the video. If you are interested, feel free to sign up. I will be blogging on my experience, sharing what I am learning and inviting you to the same. 

Why am I making a big deal about this? 

1. I think it is a good discipline for Christians to set time aside this time of the year and refocus their life as they look to the cross. 

2. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice on the cross. As a christian, I both want to celebrate and worship Him for that, as well as follow His example to make significant sacrifices in our lives. 

3. Our church has been reading the book Radical, and asking how then shall we live? This is a great piggy back to Radical and what my pastor has been preaching/teaching/challenging and exhorting us for the last 8 months. 

4. As a community of believers, let's make sacrifice, stand up for our faith and be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

Please join me!! 

A thought before we start....

"To get ready, ask yourself what sacrifice means to you. Spend time thinking about how our generation can sacrifice to change ourselves and the world around us—and to ultimately reflect Christ’s sacrifice for us. "

Are you in? Leave a comment. 

Did you answer the questions about sacrifice? Leave a comment. 

Have questions? Leave a comment. 

You get the idea. 

"That's Mine Mumma."

There are few words that make me cringe more than, "That's mine, mumma."

Though, I am glad that my 2 year old is "normal" and going through correct developmental stages, I cannot stand those words coming out of the mouth of my son.

Really?

That truck is yours?

The crackers are yours?

This house is yours?

Those clothes are yours?

That cup is yours?

That movie is yours?

Really? 

Because in all of your two year oldness, you have gotten a job, received a pay check and have purchased said truck/toy/food/drink/? Thank you for filling me in. I was not aware of what you did all day.

I was pretty sure that most of the things that he "owns" are actually from my bank account, or gifts. And the toys and clothes are definitely going to be used again by his future sibling, or given away to someone else.

And as I speak and mumble to no one and everyone, I am quickly convicted. The Lord is so good at pointing out my sin. When I say to him, "Sorry Lord. That is mine"

It's my house.

It's my relationship.

It's my job.

It's my time.

It's my money.

It's my decision.

And I see that loving father shaking His head in disappointment. Disappointed that His daughter does not understand that gifts that have been lavished on her. How His heart must hurt when I am so quickly to recognize myself and not Him. I imagine it being like Christmas morning, when He is so excited to give me a gift. It is perfectly wrapped, a gift that He has thought about, put time and energy into, so that He could lavish blessing on me. I open this wonderful gift and toss it aside. Or better yet, act like the gift was never from Him anyways. Act like I don't know who it is from, but if I had to take a guess, it was probably me. I probably saw the gift at a store and wrapped it for myself, because I knew I would like it.

Crazy right?

Indeed.

And it is not even the recognition, but what I do with these gifts.

Nothing is mine anyways. Everything is His. Jon, Caleb, the house, the cars, the bank accounts, even my time. It's all His. I have absolutely no right to decide how those are spent. It is all His to begin with.

Lord, teach me to self less. To give more time. To give more money. To give more of myself when it hurts. To be willing to let go for the sake the kingdom. Because it's Yours anyway.

And.....I leave you with some pictures...

It's not everyday I become an aunt for the first time

Dear Ronnie,

I am not sure that I will call you that forever, but for now it is my pet name for you. Your mom says it's ok. (Let  me know if she is lying about that.) Mima hates it. I thought I would write you a little letter about your birth.  I was the one in the hospital, and your house with the camera. Sorry if  it bothered you, get used to it.

It all started a few weeks ago. Well, if we are technical, about nine months ago, but that is a conversation for you to have with your mom and dad:) See the furnace in your house wasn't doing too hot. Good thing mom called the repair man, because she found  out that her and daddy were suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning! Scary stuff. They were able to move out while things were getting fixed. Things were looking scary. It looked like your mommy had smoked during her pregnancy, even though she didn't. We are so glad that there were no problems with your or your parents, once they left the house.

And then there was Superbowl Sunday. Your mom and dad planned to have a Superbowl party. Of course on the day that they would have a party, mom would start feeling like you would make your appearance. She spent a few hours in the hospital, and came back home. Puppa was really hoping that you would be born on Superbowl Sunday so he could call you SR (Super Raegan). His grandfather, your great, great grandfather was named SR.

Mom had a great night of sleep and Dad took some nyquil. In the morning your mom texted me and said "Pray that I birth her soon." I am still laughing at that phrase. Who says that? Anyways, started praying that your mom's water would break in the next hour. Did I mentioned that she was in Meijer grocery shopping?  I worked out and got in the shower. Your mom went to Meijer. And guess what? My phone rang, your dad called, said to hurry that you were a coming soon!

I scooped up Caleb, threw things in the the car and sped the whole way to the hospital. I was sooooo excited, I was hoping that I would actually make it there in time. I made it with about 10 minutes to spare.

There she is, that beautiful 8lb baby girl!!

Your mom was a rock star. Even if she is a labor and delivery nurse and sees this everyday, it is a whole new ball game to actually go through it.

First Family Photo!

I can tell Mima Kath is already in love. She's a great grandma, lots of spoiling is ahead for you girl!

And Gramma Lori too! You can thank her for all your beautiful headbands and homemade blankets.

Rae, meet Caitlin. Funny story. She and I used to work at LumberJack together in high school. Now she works with your mom as a labor and delivery nurse. She wasn't working when your mom went into labor, but came in to deliver your cute self anyways:)

Is your dad texting all of his friends telling them that his world has changed forever? I think so.

Aunt J was there! She got to miss school for your grand arrival!

You had a parade of visitors. He is great Grandpa and Grandma S. But, not everyone who wanted to come could come, because you were sent to special care. Apparently it is a rule that babies in our family have to go to special care. I think your mom is the only one who broke that rule.

Look at that proud daddy. He loves you so much!

 
Your cousin Caleb was not allowed to visit you until you went home. We made a Caleb station in the waiting  room and we took turns visiting Caleb:0)

Time to go home!!! You may think this is a cute picture of Mima taking you out to the car. Oh, sweetheart...there is so much more beyond just this picture.

It started with your dad throwing up and being VERY sick while staying in the hospital. On the day you were discharged, he left to go his parents house, so he would not get you sick. Mima, myself, Aunt J, Desiree, and Caleb all came up to help your mom pack up the room, pack up the cars (yes two) and take you home.

It may or may not have been a great idea for Mima to drive with balloons in her face.

We got home, had some lunch and was getting settled.

And then your mom called your dad. And your dad definitely needed to go to the Emergency Room.

Problem? How do we even begin? Who stays with Caleb and Raegan? Who takes Nolan to the hospital? Jenna can't drive. Jenna is breastfeeading, she should stay with the baby--except her husband is going to the ER.

Your mom and I packed up, drove back into town, picked up your dad at his parents and drove back to the very hospital, that we left just minutes ago. Sans baby. Sans flowers. Sans balloons. Your dad was in rare form. I blame it on the complete dehydration, emotional state he was in. Poor guy didn't even get to take his wife and new baby home from the hospital.  Maybe your dad just felt left out and wanted a hospital bracelet and wanted to be admitted into the hospital too. He spent the next 8 or so hours in the ER, with an IV and had some tests done.

If your life is anything like the way you entered the world, you will be anything but ordinary.

Ready or not here we come

It came suddenly clear to me as he was holding me this evening. I asked him, "So, are you ready for this? It's happening." As the words rolled off my tongue, I realized just how much heartbreak I may be signing myself up for.

We have been talking about foster care for a long time now, and have gone to Orientation, filled out paper work, finished one class, and then it stopped. For whatever reason, communication with the state stopped. Part of it could have been the holidays, part of it could be God slowing us down, either way....stopped, until yesterday.

Yesterday we received a HUGE packet in the mail of paperwork that needs to be filled out. Of course, I jumped on it and have about half filled out now. And then this afternoon, our case worker calls. She wants to come out on Wednesday to do a home visit and "get the ball rolling."

 Here we are. Following Jesus. Clinging to His promises. Clinging to each other.

Here we are one happy family, trying to give love to a child that needs it.

Here we are, willingly signing up for  trials, heartbreak, pain, confusion and sorrow.

Here we are, willingly signing up to bring life.

Here we are, ready for hard.

Here we are, because the gospel is real, the kingdom is near, and we have been called.

For the cause of the down trodden

For the love of all that is holy and good, which is only Jesus Himself, would you please look at the following links?


1. Sign the petition for International Justice Mission. IJM is a missions organization that is working hard to stop human trafficking around the world. Seriously, it takes one minute. And then pass it around to everyone. Because human trafficking needs to stop NOW.

2. Speaking of human trafficking, did you know that in a few days, this will be the largest human trafficking weekend throughout the world? More women and children will be trafficked during the Supwerbowl than any other time during the year. Read this.  After you read this, will you please spend some time in serious prayer for this to end? Oh Jesus, bring your kingdom!


3. What are you doing for Lent? Do you celebrate lent? If you celebrate it, would you consider doing something different with me? And if you have never celebrated lent, would you do something different with me? Check out what World Vision is doing, and join me!! Take a peak here....

Blessings friends!

because after a night of no sleep, this is what I feel like