Court Date...Almost

On March 18, 9am there will be a termination hearing. If all goes as planned the birth parents will give over their rights and we will be on our way to be legal guardians of Caleb.

There is one thing that could prevent this: the birth father need to be served papers in person by Sunday. This could be difficult, he is hard to reach and wants nothing to do with the pregnancy counselor at the adoption agency.

Continue to pray friends! Pray that the birth father would be served papers in person by Sunday evening, that he signs them, and that the birth mom does not change her mind.

Come on now, 'fess up!

I went to a staff meeting today....

And found a note that said
"Kristin and Jon,
Congratulations on your adoption! Many people are praying for you as you take care of Caleb. You are a model for many Christians to respond to the littlest in the world by adopting and giving them a new family just as the Lord adopted us into His family!
I'm sure there are lots of financial needs so please put this to good use to serve your family in any way you see fit.
Love in Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior!"

And attached to that note was an envelope

And in the envelope was two $25 gift cards

So fess up! Who blessed us like this? We are so appreciative to you.!!!

To a dear blog reader, Ida-- THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I was so surprised to get a gift card from you in the mail! Can't wait to use it to spoil Caleb (or buy necessities:)

Caleb's nursery part #1

Paint is finished on Caleb's nursery. Next step: working on the details :)

Dear Miche Bag,

I am so sorry that you are feeling neglected. I didn't realize how much I missed you until I went to the hardware store today with you in tote. Oh, how I miss you!

I still love you, I love how I can have one bag and interchange the shells and the straps. I love that I can change your looks depending on what I am wearing, I just love everything about you.

You are not being traded in, oh no my friend, do not be down trodden. I could not give you up. I just need to let you know for this time in my life, I am toting around something else....

A diaper bag. Yup, I am one of those women. Forgive me. I will be back. And we will have some dates soon. But for now, I need to take an extra five minutes to leave the house so that I can fully stock the bag that keeps Mr. Caleb happy.

Thank you for your understanding. I still think of you often.

40 Days On

On the first day of Lent, there are some many people who are planning on what they are giving up for the 40 Day Season. Lent is the celebration leading up to Easter that many Christians participate in. I grew up never knowing much about Lent, and thought that it was just a Catholic celebration and because I was not Catholic, I did not have to participate. True, and false. I was not Catholic. And I did not have to participate, but in the past years I have done something for Lent that reminds me about the debt that Jesus paid on the cross, something that draws me into a deeper relationship with my Savior, something that takes a little extra work for 40 days.

This year for Lent, I am not giving anything up, I am calling it a "40 Days On." In the next 40 days, I want to take big steps to grow my faith, my knowledge of God, my dependence on the Lord, my knowledge of scripture, and protect my temple that God has given me.

1. (Re) Start Memorizing the Psalms of Ascent. I started doing this, and then Caleb entered my world. Babies make life so much more time consuming, enough said. I will be preaching on one of the Psalms of Ascent in March, and want to have 4 Psalms memorized by Easter. What a glorious way to grow in my relationship with the Lord!

2. Spend time EACH day in prayer and scripture. I was in a good routine doing that and then I let life with Caleb take over....now, back to it.

3. Lose 20lbs in 40days. It will take some focus and hard work, but in order for me to be the best woman that God has created me to be, with this one body that He has give me, this needs to be done!

What are your plans for Lent? Do you celebrate it?

Leaving you with a video of my sweet boy.

"Why didn't anyone ever tell me I was black?"

How my heart would hurt if those words ever came out of Caleb's mouth.

I have heard of a story where this happened to a white couple who adopted black children. Out of the mouths of babes, right?

Why the problem? At face value, to a white woman, I would be encouraged to hear this, knowing that his ethnic difference from the family was the focus of his upbringing, that he was loved simply because he was a child that God had created and because he is a part of our family.

What a disservice we would be doing to him if we didn't teach him about his heritage. He is African American being raised by a white family, there will be enough confusion in that, let's at least teach him to appreciate his heritage.

Not only it is a disservice, but it is unbiblical to "act colorblind." People who say that they are, are lying and wrong. Really? Like you can't notice that I have a black boy in my arms? God created cultures and elasticities and celebrates them throughout scripture, why shouldn't we raise Caleb the same way?

Saying that, our goal will not be to point out Caleb's differences, but to love him as best as we can, to parent him as best as we can, to raise him in our own familial traditions, as well as being real with his heritage. We want to be open and honest with Caleb, answering any questions he may have, about his birth family, adopted family, questions about adoption, his black heritage and anything else that he is wondering. We don't want to hide anything. I hope he lets be on a learning curve, because I have no idea how to do this:)

Now that I got that off my chest....I can cuddle with my peanut who decided to grow overnight and stretch out of preemie clothes and move into newborn sizes. This mumma's heart is not ready for her boy to grow so fast.

Now that there is a baby in the house....

-I need to work on my photography skills to take some great photos of the little guy

-I am cleaning more than ever

-I do more loads of laundry and dishes on a regular basis than ever before

-I am constantly clipping coupons and finding ways to save money on diapers and formula

-I know why mothers drink coffee

-I desperately need to get myself onto a schedule. Caleb is on a great one....now, about me.

-One of the greatest sights is the two men in my life asleep on the couch together

-I feel like all is right...we have our boy

-I recognize the faithfulness of God

-I fall in love with Caleb more and more each day

-I fall in love with my husband more and more each day as I see him as a daddy

My Valentine...

- is my first love

-is my high school sweet heart

-is my best friend

-knows me and still loves me

-is the person who makes me laugh and makes me the happiest, and also the person that I can get frustrated with the quickest

-is an amazing father

-is a great provider and has an amazing work ethic

-is growing to be more and more like Jesus each and ever day

-sometime has road rage

-is the messiest man alive

-allows me to be myself. I am so comfortable with who I am when I with him

-puts up with my crazy family

-encourages me to pursue deep friendships with girlfriends

-lets me sleep in and take naps

-is learning to get really great gifts!

-plays the guitar, soccer and wants to be a runner

-was in a band in high school...I still think it is secretly his dream

-rejects Christian culture and thinks critically about what a Christ follower should look like

-not only lets me watch my guilty pleasure tv shows, but watches them with me

-hates talking on the phone, but will call me several times a day to tell me that he is thinking of me, and that he loves me

-is a child magnet

-likes his shirts folded a certain way

-looks at me in "that way"

-prays with me and for me

-is a man that I can trust with my whole heart

-is a servant

-is an amazing cook

-changes poopy diapers, makes bottles, snuggles with Caleb and gets up early with our boy to let me sleep in

-understands my need from some introverted space

-is the man that I would marry all over again

No, we haven't disappeared......

We have just be doing a lot of this lately. Both mom and baby sleep....a lot....baby a lot more than mom. Goal for today: working on our eating. Caleb has decided that it is no fun to eat, he would rather be grumpy than eat. Fun, eh?

And yet
I love
EVERY minute of it
Even the minutes I am not quite awake for

Even when...

Even when I hear the cries that come with this face, I am in love, totally and completely smitten with this little boy. Even when I have to give up my precious sleep. Even when my house is in constant chaos. Even when I have to change a poopy diaper for the 7th time in one day.

The road is not over. Tomorrow, we are having a visit from our caseworker. It will be our first supervised visit with Caleb. I am so excited, because it means that we are moving ahead in the process.

Hoping to find out more tomorrow about the process. Please pray for a speedy court hearing, that the birth mother would not change her mind, that the process would be smooth, easy and quick.

But even if the adoption doesn't go through, I still love this little guy.

Wow mom, that was a lot of visitors this weekend

Wanna know why I am such a happy frog this weekend? Other than it being my first superbowl, my first weekend at home, I was treated like a rockstar. Am I going to be this spoiled my whole life? I think I am going to milk it for all its worth. I am pretty much wrapped around mommy and daddy's finger and almost there with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Man, I am special.

Yesterday was a busy day. I could barely stay awake for it all, but I heard that mommy is washing all of my new clothes. By the looks of it, I think I might be the most stylish newborn ever. I am a little worried though...there is talk that mommy is going to have a photo shoot with me this week.














On Saturday I saw my grandparents again, all four of them. They were showering me with love and presents. Oh, the presents. I also saw some new faces and heard some new voices. I met my Aunt Jalissa, mommy's little sister, I met my second cousins, and two sets of great aunts and uncle. I was held ALL day. A boy could get used to this.


When I saw my Grandma Sausser I was really happy because she was wearing her "Central Michigan Mom" sweatshirt. That made my mommy happy. Someday I am going to buy her a Central Michigan Grandma sweatshirt. Mommy is going to be so happy to go there...not to mention Big Jon.


Saturday evening, Big Jon really wanted to see me with my eyes open. I wanted to play along, but man I was tired. Mom and dad have me on a new feeding plan, and I am eating like crazy trying to gain weight. Don't they know this growing business is hard work? Anyways, Big Jon wanted me to wake up, so mom knows the best way to do that is to give me a bath. Before I knew it....clothes were off, and I had an audience around my bath tub. How embarrassing. I was awake though, and Big Jon loved it.


Everyone went to sleep and because Gramma Kath loves mommy so much, she decided that she was going to stay up with me during the night. She got some sleep, but she was the one to feed me and change me during the night. I was such a good boy for her. I didn't even cry much, ate a lot and got some snuggles in with Gramma.

Gramma Kath was telling me about this toy she bought me....I am not so sure about it, but she does tell me that it is the best Gramma gift ever. It is a bee....it sings and dances....and so does gramma Kath. mmmm.....

First Bath at Home

Life at home has been amazing! We are loving every moment with our beautiful boy and are praying anxiously for the day that the adoption is finalized. Until then, we are going to enjoy each and every day with Caleb, days like today where he had his first bath at home:)

An update from Panera

Why Panera? Well, I just HAD to update my blog for ya'll. Jon and I just signed paperwork agreeing to temporary custody of Caleb. We are hoping to bring him home late this afternoon!!!

There is still a lot ahead of us, but we have just crossed major hurdle. Some next steps:
-Carseat prep at the hospital
-CPR training for Jon and I at the hospital
-Bringing Caleb home
-finding a pediatrician
-figuring out Medicaid for Caleb, and transferring to our insurance
-Filing termination papers in our county
-Setting a court date for a termination hearing in our county (probably a month from now)
-a 21 day appeal period

Prayer warriors, it is ONLY your prayers that have led us this far. Will you carry us all the way? We have about 6 months -year of paper work and court hearings to make this final. At any point, birth mom can change her mind. PRAY!!! Pray!!! and Pray!!! Really, truly God has been so good and His fingerprints are all over this, but please don't stop!!!

Whew!!!!

Gonna be a mumma!!!! Birth mom signed physical custody over to us!!!! THANK YOU FOR PRAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worshipping in the Wait

Would I have chose this way? Not a chance. This way has been hard. very.very.hard. No one wants to go through two possible adoptions, getting completely scammed by one birth mother and waiting on hold for months another. But it has been good.

During this time things have been good. Mostly because God is good, and He is teaching us some great lessons. Before I would have said, "God forget the lessons and give me my baby," today I say, "I will walk closely and glorify you in all I do, and I hope that part of your plan is me being Caleb's mumma."

Some things that have been good:
-Jon and I have begun to regularly fast. Fasting is a way to connect with God in an intimate way because we are giving up physical needs. It has been a glorious time to watch God work in our lives.
-Jon and I pray together every single day. So sweet to hear the cries of my husband to the Lord.
-I don't even recognize my husband anymore. He has grown as a man following after the Lord in crazy ways. I keep looking at him with new eyes. He truly has God's heart and I love him (and Him) even more.
-I have learned that I have had a lifetime of dealing with pain in negative ways. Overeating, oversleeping, running to people instead of God, and other numbing agents have been my vice. I do not write to you saying I have it all together, no where near that, but I am recognizing my faults and want to desperately change those behaviors in my life.
-Following Jesus is not based on emotions or circumstances. It is a choice we make- every day.
-People mean well, they do. But they say really stupid and hurtful things. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. --Really guys, I am gonna try:)
-Those who really care about us have stepped up and have gone out of their way.
-There are a lot of people who pray. This SHOCKS me. I am not sure if I am more surprised at the amount of pray-ers or that someone would actually take the time to pray for my family.
-Facedown on the ground before the Lord is the best place to be.
-I have thought about going into social work to shake up and change "the system"
-I have never had more faith than I do today
-I have never had a more consistent prayer life than I do today
-I have never sought the Lord with the entirety of my being as I am today
-Sometimes we don't have the answers and it's ok. It's hard, but it's ok.
-I really really really love blogging....and scrapbooking....some great tools to take your mind off of things.
-Both of our parents are really excited to be grandparents, and who would not love to see their parents be excited?
-The love of a child is not dependent on whether or not I have given birth to him. My arms ache to hold Caleb and my heart so desperately wants to be his mom.

Would I do it again? Only if the Lord asked me to and was leading me there....I don't think anyone willingly walks into pain.

guess what? no news!

According to his doctor, Caleb is not ready to be discharged today. They are now hoping to discharge him between Wednesday and Friday.

Because of this delay, the birth mom still has not made a decision. She is meeting with her case worker tomorrow, and she has asked for adoption paperwork. So in the words of my sister, we are very excited with a very large fence around our hearts:)

Keep praying. I am so grateful for all of your prayers. Keep praying. Keep praying, and please, keep praying.

We are praying that she chooses adoption and we can bring Caleb home this week. Would you pray with us?