November is National Adoption Month. This blog post is to see what questions you have about us, our process or adoption in general. Look for answers in blog posts to come.
For those of you looking for an update: We are switching case workers, (the agency has reassigned us, due to job changes within the office). There is a birth mother that will be looking at our profile in the next month. We are assuming that G will no longer be reaching our agency, we are planning that it will never go through. We do know that Noelle was born on November 21, and is beautiful. That's it.
Every year at thanksgiving I like to write a list of 100 things I am thankful for. Sometimes it happens in my blog, sometimes it happens in my journal....Enjoy!
1. The hope that passes all understanding that comes from Jesus alone. 2. The way that God has prepared me for this mourning process (Note: I CANNOT believe I actually typed that! Another whole story in and of itself!) 3. God continues to be glorified 4. A new house 5. GREAT GREAT GREAT neighbors! Shout out to the bumpy green house. 6. Mom who helped me do some yard work this year....more to come next year mom, promise! 7. Jon's dad and brother who have helped us so much around the house 8. Folks from the church moving us in! What a load off! Amazing move in crew. 9. Finding a local church to belong to. 10. New friends. 11. SPEW meetings. I have so enjoyed watching students come together in fellowship and prayer. 12. Friends who have prayed with me and for me. 13. Friends who are not afraid to be quiet, give me a hug and cry with me. 14. My husband's unconditional love and support, even when he gives me 'the look' of "What in the world did I get myself into by marrying you?" 15. I was hit by a UPS truck, totaled the van I was driving and the only damage...spilled coffee, and I walked away with a new car. 16. God's constant provision in our lives. 17. A washer and dryer in our new house. 18. Listening to little kids pray 19. Time with a sweet 2-3 year boy each week. 20. Beth Moore and the way she has ministered to me this year. 21. People who financially support me and pray for me. 22. Thoughtful gifts. 23. A pastor who is passionate about preaching the word. 24. Coffee 25. Diet pepsi 26. Meeting a student at random event......which launched a whole new area of ministry 27. The opportunity to reach the nations at college campuses 28. Seeing my dear friend Krista get married this past summer 29. Seeing my sister's excitement to be engaged and plan her wedding 30. The joy it was to take my sister's engagement photos 31. My camera 32. The opportunity that people have given me to "practice" photographing them 33. A good glass of wine 34. A new walk in closet 35. The joy of having baby clothes in the house 36. I am thankful for what I have learned about adoption.....the heart wrenching emotions we have gone through makes it certain that adoption is real, it is really loving someone into your family, the attachment is the same 37. The truth of scripture 38. The time and desire to memorize scripture 39. Crock pots 40. Chili 41. Date nights with friends 42. Watching Jalissa, my 14 year old sister grow up 43. Facebook...keeping in touch with friends 44. Watching my friends grow up:) 45. TimerWolf ---where I staff a training event with students....that is my kind of camping ya'll. 46. The desire that I have to learn to cook 47. The way that my husband has taught me to be more hospitable( yes, yes, he has the gift, I don't, end of story) 48. The opportunity to lead several women from church this past summer into a journey of prayer and scripture! 49. How there are just some friends in your life that you can go for a long time without talking on the phone, or in person and when you do, it is like you have never left. 50. Christian faculty on college campuses.....specifically one of them who is now my neighbor. 51. Cuddling with my cats, relaxing. 52. Sabbaths--praise God that rest is good! 53. The DVR. What a time saver for real!!! I no longer need to sit in front of the tv...I can record something and then watch it later, with no commercials and save time. 54. Cleaning products 55. Wood floors 56. World Vision 57. Those who have adopted 58. Candles 59. Hot water 60. Clean water 61. The ability to have food on my table every day....whether or not I chose to make it 62. Different ways we can worship God 63. Watching my husband pick up his guitar again and lead people in worship 64. A dishwasher 65. The ability to decorate my house (both creativity and a lil money) 66. The joy of buying gifts for others 67. West Michigan road trip with my family this past summer 68. Wireless Internet....how I can connect with almost anyone, almost everywhere 69. InterVarsity Christian Fellowship-this should not be so far down on my list since it is my job and all, and something that I love and am passionate about. 70. InterVarsity's Urbana Conference and the window to the world it gives students 71. Down blankets 72. Down matresses 73. Good health 74. God's continued healing of depression and anxiety 75. Seeing family regularly 76. Watching a church family train for the 5k and follow through (which I did not and feel super lame for, but what an encouragement to see if from them) 77. AMAZING Michigan weather in the fall 78. A great ladies retreat with folks from church in Frankenmuth 79. A church that cares about missions 80. InterVarsity's training 81. Small Group Leader's Training 82. The impact that Dave Ramsey and his ministry is having on folks from church 83. The ability and joy of tithing 84. Milkshakes with two friends after an emotional night 85. Sleeping through the night most nights 86. Cookie dough from members of the church to give to college students 87. A college student who wants to learn more about evangelism 88. Students that want to be trained in leadership skills 89. A job that I love 90. Pumpkin flavored things 91. Guilty pleasure tv shows 92. My husband's drive to work hard and provide for us 93. A heart for adoption. It is truly a heart after God's heart of adopting us as Gentiles into His family. 94. My vacuum cleaner 95. Free books from IVP 96. Some time to read those books 97. A staff team that I love 98. Creative ways to pray 99. His joy and peace 100. Jesus' desire to reconcile broken people to Him
We know that she has been born. We know that our baby girl has been born!!! Even if we never get a chance to meet her, she is still our baby, someone that holds a very special place in our heart. We are trying to figure out what this means.....she was born on Saturday afternoon. Most likely at this point, the birth mom has decided to keep the baby. We are unsure, we will keep you in the loop and ask for your prayers.
How can you pray? -For our agency to connect with G -For the baby to be healthy for G's recovery -God's peace for all of those involved -Pray that we would know what is happening soon. Obviously our hearts desire is to raise her and have her in our arms, but mostly we are in love with this girl and want her to be in a loving home that will let her know the love of her Father. -Pray that our sweet girl would be provided for -Pray that there would be closure. Yes, I said it. I have been avoiding it for so long, because with closure means that all hope is gone. But, with closure means that my sweet Noelle won't be living in limbo anymore. So pray for closure for the sake of the baby. -Pray for my broken heart. May it be filled with the joy and peace of Jesus, the love of friends and family, and selfishly, with Noelle.
Christmas Service that students put on. Each of the Christian groups on campus presented a part of Jesus' life. InterVarsity talked about Evangelism.
Each Friday night, students gather at my house for SPEW (Students Praying Expecting and Waiting) We have some dinner, fellowship together and pray. This particular night we had "Make your own pizza bagel" and Pumpkin Cupcakes.
I wish I could say that it has just been a bad week, but it has been HORRIBLE. I wish that I didn't battle depression and anxiety the way that I do. I wish that my circumstances were drastically different. I wish that I would have to be deciding how to cart a new born around the state to see family for thanksgiving instead of what we are going to bring as our dish to pass. I wish that the thought of taking baby girl stuff back to the store had never crossed my mind. I wish that I could sleep through the night I wish that I could wake up in the morning without a HUGE cloud of hopelessness around me I wish that I could wake up in the morning, instead of dealing with problems by sleeping I wish that I didn't deal with life's problems by sleeping I wish that I didn't deal with life's problems by overeating I wish that I could pick out a Christmas dress for Miss Noelle I wish that when asked to share how God is taking us through this process I could have answer I wish I wasn't so mad at God right now I wish I was doing things with my full potential I wish I had friends that lived closer I wish that I could hide the bruises I wish I could do more than cry I wish that I would not have to take time off of work, or take time away from life because of the hurt and pain I wish people would stop saying "God has other things in store, God knows whats best, This baby must not be for you, There is another baby out there, plenty that need adopting," I wish you would just give me a hug and cry with me, your words seem so empty I wish that I was rocking my baby to sleep instead of writing a sappy depressing blog entry
Before you freak out...Jon and I are dealing with it... we are surviving, and believe that God is going to take us through it. We are praying and seeking Him, but life is hard. Sometimes you just want to throw things and stamp your feet.
Today, I am thankful for a God that is bigger than my problems.
if you have been wondering that is. I have DEFINITELY cheated at my diet in the past few weeks, but the great thing is that I keep coming back to it. I have not given up. Words of Wisdom from my sister this weekend: "I'm afraid I have bad news. I think we are going to have to become runners. All of the women I know that are in shape are runners." So there you have it. Maybe in the next year I will learn to run. Until then, I am happy that I have lost 4 lbs. Doesn't sound like much, but its a start.
Today is my 26th birthday. 26 years ago I came into the world 6 weeks early. I was supposed to be a Christmas baby and came before thanksgiving. I was given a "christmas like" name, Kristin Noelle. Today I think about the past year and the year to come. I know that God has great things in store... Today I think about the next Noelle in the family. What would be the greater birthday day that meeting our sweet Noelle Grace, and bringing her home to her family.
What can you pray for? Several people have been asking.....Pray that G would leave Noelle in the hospital with directions to call our adoption agency. Through a series of circumstances we really feel that it would not be best for G to raise this baby girl that we have grown to love. If she leaves the baby at the hospital we could get a hospital call to come and get her......oh the joy that would be!
We have some news, and its not good. There is a major possibility that G was scamming us. That was some hard news to receive but we are not done! We are not giving up ---It is a weird long story. All hope is not lost. Would you still join us in prayer? Pray hard, even fast if God is asking you. Our baby is somewhere....we can't wait to meet her.
Tomorrow is Monday morning G's due date is Wednesday We have heard nothing We believe that this baby is for us, but have no idea if G is going to go through with the adoption I am losing hope Please pray
I want to hold her I want to kiss her I want to hug her I want to dress her up in sweet pink clothes I want to take pictures of her I want to stay up all hours of the night with her I want to change poopy diapers I want rock her I want to tell her about Jesus I want to show her off to the world I want to spend the holidays with her in my arms I want my Noelle
With only 6 days left until her due date, every time the phone rings, we run to it, and hold our breath knowing that this could be the phone call that changes our lives, for better or worse. And still, nothing. We know nothing, but we are hopeful, we are waiting for good news.
