Weekend Visits

**From this point on, #lilduck will now be referred to as #koala, because she is seriously a koala bear that is attached to your body at all times. **

Chick and Koala went home in January. We knew  the week that they would be going home, but through a crazy turn of events (the hubby in another state for work, Caleb and I an hour away in our new town and trapped in our new house due to a snow storm and Chick and Koala at daycare over an hour away).... we weren't able to say goodbye or pack up their things. Anyways, mom picked them up from daycare the day of the snowstorm and that was it. 

I spent January and February texting mom, with no response. I had things to give her from the girls, and just generally wanted to see how the girls were. 

She finally texted me and asked if we could take the girls for a weekend in March. YES YES YES YES. My babies!!! We were so excited. I went to mom's house to get the girls. As soon as they saw me they ran and gave big hugs, and I cried most of the 30 minute drive home. Tears of happiness that they seemed ok and grateful that we get to see the girls. Tears of sadness, knowing that this was just a weekend visit and we didn't know when we would see them again. We had a great weekend together. Jon and I took the girls back on Sunday and it was awful. They were screaming and didn't want us to leave. 

The same thing happened two weekends later, but 10x worse. Chick was clinging to my neck screaming "mommy don't leave me." I cried. Mom cried. I told mom that it was ok, that Chick would be fine. I struggled with wanting to help mom navigate this, and wanting to scoop up Chick and run away with her. I wanted mom to know that Chick has a deep bond with us, and for the wellbeing of her daughter, they needed to spend time with us. Chick needed to know this wasn't the last time she was going to see us. I wanted to encourage mom to keep doing well. And then my baby squeezes my neck screaming. I walked out the door and hear more gut wrenching cries. It was rough. 

I am grateful for the opportunity that mom allowed us to stay in their lives. I am grateful that we were able to have weekend visits. As we journey on in foster care, no matter the outcome, it will be important to maintain relationships with the first families of the children. Reunification is not easy,but it is almost always the first goal in foster care. And sometimes, reunification doesn't always work. 

Two days later, our case worker sent me a text, "Hypothetically, if we were to do a removal, would you and Jon be willing to take them back?" 

Um. Yes. 

The next day, Chick and Koala were back in our home. It's been a whirlwind, but so good. 

So a year has passed.

It's been a year since I updated this silly thing.

A year.

It's not like I didn't have things to say. I did. Lots.

I never quite could articulate what was happening in our house, where we were on our foster care journey and how we are generally doing in life.

I LOVE the "On this date" section on Facebook. I love seeing what I was doing in years past. I realized that I really like seeing where our family has been compared to where we are now.

My goal is to post once a week, if for no one else, just myself so I have a record of whats going on.

The quick run down, or year in review:

-Caleb started Kindergarten. It was a very rough start, but it was a time that I really was able to lean into Jesus and deepen a friendship with his principal.

-We built a house an hour away and moved. We are currently hoping to sell our old house but will likely do a rent to own.  We built the house thinking we would have 5 kids move in with us. That didn't happen.

-Our little sister girls that we were fostering went home with mom in January. That was hard. I didn't even get to say goodbye (more on that later).

-Our teens were supposed to move in with a family member in October, but ended up doing that a few weeks ago.

-A week and a half ago our little sister girls came back to live with us.

-I started a new job teaching toddlers in a day care center.

-Jon is finished with school.


That's the short run down. What do you want to hear about first? :)