Why didn't someone tell me that I gave up? All this time, I had you---and myself completely convinced that I was waiting patiently and hoping. But I'm not, and I wasn't. I was so quick to give up that I did not even recognize it.
I am finally ready to hurry up and wait. Really. I am ready to start actively pursuing adoption. I am ready for the waiting.
It would be easy to give up. I am really an impatient person and getting this process started just so I can wait again is not my idea of fun.
And not to mention the emotional toll again. I am not so sure that I am excited about getting my heart broken and thrown into rough seasons of depression. I am not sure that I am ready to be THAT vulnerable again.
But...we are not giving up.
Why?
-We have been called to pursue adoption
-The statistics that I read about orphans break my heart every time I cannot NOT do something about it.
It occurred to me today, while I was spending sometime with God (which the more likely case is that God spoke to me) that there is nothing I am DOING to pursue adoption.
There are some people that I need to call, I could be applying for scholarships and grants and researching other methods of adoption (different agencies, lawyers, state, foster care, etc) or simply spend more time in prayer. Instead I have unconsciously convinced myself that I am waiting for a baby to be delivered to our doorstep.
God does want us to adopt (at least until He changes our heart) but this process will be used to refine us and transform us--and I am ready to take that journey--again.
Adoption is worth it. The kingdom is worth is. I am not giving up. I am going to hurry and DO something --that something??? WAIT.
I am finally ready to hurry up and wait. Really. I am ready to start actively pursuing adoption. I am ready for the waiting.
It would be easy to give up. I am really an impatient person and getting this process started just so I can wait again is not my idea of fun.
And not to mention the emotional toll again. I am not so sure that I am excited about getting my heart broken and thrown into rough seasons of depression. I am not sure that I am ready to be THAT vulnerable again.
But...we are not giving up.
Why?
-We have been called to pursue adoption
-The statistics that I read about orphans break my heart every time I cannot NOT do something about it.
It occurred to me today, while I was spending sometime with God (which the more likely case is that God spoke to me) that there is nothing I am DOING to pursue adoption.
There are some people that I need to call, I could be applying for scholarships and grants and researching other methods of adoption (different agencies, lawyers, state, foster care, etc) or simply spend more time in prayer. Instead I have unconsciously convinced myself that I am waiting for a baby to be delivered to our doorstep.
God does want us to adopt (at least until He changes our heart) but this process will be used to refine us and transform us--and I am ready to take that journey--again.
Adoption is worth it. The kingdom is worth is. I am not giving up. I am going to hurry and DO something --that something??? WAIT.
2 comments:
You are so right - it IS so worth it! Don't give up! God will give you all that you need, every step of the way. And I must say that the transformation He can do while you're waiting (speaking from first hand experience!) is nothing short of amazing. Not easy...but amazing! Praying for you today!
So happy to here that your heart is ready to make the next step. We'll be here praying and with open arms ready to hug you all the way!
Last Sunday I stood listening to Amber & Cheri talk about the long term idea of adopting from overseas. It seemed so strange to me to think I am planning to adopt a teenager! Please ask me often about my paperwork. I must get things compleated. I set a deadline of the 15th but if I don't get moving it won't happen.
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