During this time things have been good. Mostly because God is good, and He is teaching us some great lessons. Before I would have said, "God forget the lessons and give me my baby," today I say, "I will walk closely and glorify you in all I do, and I hope that part of your plan is me being Caleb's mumma."
Some things that have been good:
-Jon and I have begun to regularly fast. Fasting is a way to connect with God in an intimate way because we are giving up physical needs. It has been a glorious time to watch God work in our lives.
-Jon and I pray together every single day. So sweet to hear the cries of my husband to the Lord.
-I don't even recognize my husband anymore. He has grown as a man following after the Lord in crazy ways. I keep looking at him with new eyes. He truly has God's heart and I love him (and Him) even more.
-I have learned that I have had a lifetime of dealing with pain in negative ways. Overeating, oversleeping, running to people instead of God, and other numbing agents have been my vice. I do not write to you saying I have it all together, no where near that, but I am recognizing my faults and want to desperately change those behaviors in my life.
-Following Jesus is not based on emotions or circumstances. It is a choice we make- every day.
-People mean well, they do. But they say really stupid and hurtful things. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. --Really guys, I am gonna try:)
-Those who really care about us have stepped up and have gone out of their way.
-There are a lot of people who pray. This SHOCKS me. I am not sure if I am more surprised at the amount of pray-ers or that someone would actually take the time to pray for my family.
-Facedown on the ground before the Lord is the best place to be.
-I have thought about going into social work to shake up and change "the system"
-I have never had more faith than I do today
-I have never had a more consistent prayer life than I do today
-I have never sought the Lord with the entirety of my being as I am today
-Sometimes we don't have the answers and it's ok. It's hard, but it's ok.
-I really really really love blogging....and scrapbooking....some great tools to take your mind off of things.
-Both of our parents are really excited to be grandparents, and who would not love to see their parents be excited?
-The love of a child is not dependent on whether or not I have given birth to him. My arms ache to hold Caleb and my heart so desperately wants to be his mom.
-Jon and I have begun to regularly fast. Fasting is a way to connect with God in an intimate way because we are giving up physical needs. It has been a glorious time to watch God work in our lives.
-Jon and I pray together every single day. So sweet to hear the cries of my husband to the Lord.
-I don't even recognize my husband anymore. He has grown as a man following after the Lord in crazy ways. I keep looking at him with new eyes. He truly has God's heart and I love him (and Him) even more.
-I have learned that I have had a lifetime of dealing with pain in negative ways. Overeating, oversleeping, running to people instead of God, and other numbing agents have been my vice. I do not write to you saying I have it all together, no where near that, but I am recognizing my faults and want to desperately change those behaviors in my life.
-Following Jesus is not based on emotions or circumstances. It is a choice we make- every day.
-People mean well, they do. But they say really stupid and hurtful things. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. --Really guys, I am gonna try:)
-Those who really care about us have stepped up and have gone out of their way.
-There are a lot of people who pray. This SHOCKS me. I am not sure if I am more surprised at the amount of pray-ers or that someone would actually take the time to pray for my family.
-Facedown on the ground before the Lord is the best place to be.
-I have thought about going into social work to shake up and change "the system"
-I have never had more faith than I do today
-I have never had a more consistent prayer life than I do today
-I have never sought the Lord with the entirety of my being as I am today
-Sometimes we don't have the answers and it's ok. It's hard, but it's ok.
-I really really really love blogging....and scrapbooking....some great tools to take your mind off of things.
-Both of our parents are really excited to be grandparents, and who would not love to see their parents be excited?
-The love of a child is not dependent on whether or not I have given birth to him. My arms ache to hold Caleb and my heart so desperately wants to be his mom.
Would I do it again? Only if the Lord asked me to and was leading me there....I don't think anyone willingly walks into pain.
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