This afternoon I was thinking about me, about me dealing with depression and an anxiety disorder.
I was mad at myself for feeling this way.
I was mad at myself that I am on medication for these "issues."
I was mad at myself that I have hid this for so long.
I was mad at myself that I claim to love Jesus, desire the hope of Jesus and the peace of Jesus, and yet can suffer from depression and anxiety, regularly.
I was mad.
And ashamed.
And complained.
I complained to God and said, "I just want to be normal. I want be a normal person not worrying about how I will feel and not having to take medication."
And His response to me, "My precious daughter, you are normal. On this side of heaven you will be broken. I want you to run to me, to find peace and joy in me alone, but you will be broken. It is part of the fall. Seek me though. Seek my face. Seek my presence. Fall in love with me. You are normal. You are broken, but I am your Redeemer. I will Redeem. Just wait. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe until I restore the earth. Just wait. "
Ok Lord.
5 comments:
Wow. The LORD's response to you leaves me breathtakingly speechless!
Love you, so thankful for your honesty. So blessed by how God has used you thus far, excited to see how He will use you in the future!
That was beautiful. I'm sure all of us can relate to your situation because we ALL are dealing with SOMETHING.. God bless you for being so very honest and transparent.
I wish I had half your heart- with a hole in yours you touch so many!
I wuv you sister and wish I lived next door at times! Pray for you Jon and Mr handsome-cool hair Caleb daily.
This world is not out home. Thank you God cause its not an easy lifestyle some days.
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