A Letter to My Colleagues

I think InterVarsity staff are some of the coolest people on the planet. Somedays, I so wish that I could be like them, because most days I don't see myself as a part of that staff box. I can't believe most days that this really is my calling, that I really do work alongside of other staff in this mission to transform lives, renew colleges and universities and change the world. Pretty high calling if you ask me. Good thing I have some amazing people to work with. 

Why are you so amazing? 

You pursue Jesus passionately more than anyone I know. You love Him and love people with a purpose and seek His kingdom in the world. 

You partner with World Vision in order to bring justice to this world and redeem the brokenness. 

You stay up and pull late nights playing six handed euchre, meeting with students, praying, prepping...

You live off coffee, but live off Jesus more 

You know what MBTI means, and either love or hate it. Shout out ISFJ:) 

You can rock a dance party......even if you are white with no moves 

Because of this post.

You study the Bible like crazy and do an fantastic job of training others to do so 

You have established generations of folks who can read the Bible, study the Bible and lead small groups 

You care about people, holistically

The power gospel is real in your lives 

Greg Jao?  Yes, yes. 

You speak the truth in love....to me, when it hurts. 

You think. 

You feel. 

You act. 

You pray. 

You want Jesus to work in the lives of students. 

You are sacrificial. 

You know what it means to have plenty and be in need. 

You know the pains, trials and joys of fundraising 

You know the pains, trials and joys of working with students 

You know the pain when someone asks, "When are you going to get a real job?" 

You are all so different, and yet you somehow work together 

You know what the Great Dane is and why it is needed 

You ask me if I am "red lining or green lining" 

Somedays, I wish I could grow and up and be just like you. 

Caleb has the hiccups

Caleb didn't know if having hiccups was completely hilarious or scary. I think his faces show both.

As a baby, Caleb had the hiccups a lot. It has been a long time since he has had them. This morning he had them and didn't quite know how to react:)

Photo Envy

It is New Years Resolution Time. I have made goals for every area of my life....except my photography "skills." I have friends who have started a blog for their photos, I have friends who are posting a photo a day on facebook for a year, I have friends who are taking classes and taking their photography to a new level.

Me?

I am scared.

I am intimidated.

I feel inadequate.

I am jealous.

So very jealous of other's fabulous work!!!

They say all photographers go through this. This "I can't imagine taking another picture, because I am so scared of how it will turn out...but I can't NOT take pictures......so I will take them and never even load them onto my computer. I will hide my camera so I can't find it. Or better yet....I will let my 12 month old son play with my camera to ensure it will be destroyed....never to be used again."

I am not acting on these, well, I am not acting on most of them. I hid my camera, only to dig it out, but I am scared to look at any of the images, and currently my son is tugging on my camera.....maybe it is meant to be.

I really do think I should take time to develop my skills, to spend time learning and experiencing, but right now, it seems so hard.

I started a photo blog a long time ago. Wait, you've never seen it? Why don't you jump right on over there? Oh wait....there are no pictures on there.

Wordless Wednesday (Then and Now)

It's That Time and Everyone Else is Doing It!!!!

Have you all made your 2011 resolutions? I LOVE making resolutions. I love setting goals. I love revisiting the past year and evaluating.

This year I have a new resolution: To not make a resolution. One thing I have learned about myself is that I am "All or Nothing." Sometimes I am more "Nothing" than "All" which forces me to experience failure. 

Ok, so it is not that I don't have a resolution per say----

I will be setting goals at the beginning of each month, attainable, measurable goals. So....what do you think?

The Day I Failed as a Mom (otherwise known as Caleb's First Birthday Party)

What a day to fail, right?

Caleb's party was not what I had in mind. At all.

The problem is-- I don't really know what I had in mind. I hate event planning and hate forcing to be extroverted at said events.

I really hate the idea of first birthday parties. I mean seriously, what kind of person remember's their first birthday party? It is so much more for the adults. The rational side of me questioned why we would throw time, money and energy into a party for our baby that will not remember it. Why don't we do something cool for us?

So we went to a pizzeria and pub on New Year's Day. "You have a baby. In a bar. You have a baby in a bar." (NAME THAT MOVIE:))

I was frustrated that we could not make reservations.
It was hard to mingle with everyone, and even if I could do that well, I HATE mingling.
It was hard to blend our families and our friends. We were so appreciative that both came, but hard to have those worlds collide.
I did not make a sweet, awesome, thought filled homemade cake. I actually hated the cake, it was so lame looking. But who was I kidding? That's what you get when you order the cake the day before...(er---your husband orders it, and you expect him to read your mind about what kind of cake you wanted).
I wish that we had a bigger house that we could entertain our friends and family in
I wanted to get some amazing pictures of my son's birthday....of him, of people there, of us as a family.....

If the pity party is quite large enough, let me add that I hated all the pictures I saw of myself. I looked like a man, a fat man.

I am so going to be ready for his second birthday.

2010

So much of me wants to write a post about 2010. About how 2010 was one of the most
challenging,
 tear filled, 
marriage straining, 
wallet stretching,
 emotional, 
redemption needing, 
exciting, 
joyful, 
sleepless, 
prayerful, 
hopeful, 
passionate, 
healing years, 
EVER. 

But I won't bore you with all of that, because if you have been a reader of mine for any length of time you probably already know that.

How about I share some things with you that happened in 2010 that you might not know about?

-One day I received a letter from my very best college friend asking that we start writing letters back and forth. We have been writing for several months and our relationship and friendship is a more of blessing to me today that it has ever been before---even though we live across the country from each other.

-I am becoming more and more excited about being a woman, being feminine. I am still in the learning process of taking a long time to get ready in the morning, to do hair, and make up and wardrobe. I want to celebrate who God has created me to be, I want my husband to look at me and I want to be confident in who I am...a surprisingly a few extra minutes in the morning has helped with that.

-For the first time in my life I have wanted to fight through depression.

-I have started memorizing Psalm 119

-I have started working with the youth group at church. This is something  I said I would never do. I guess, never say "never," right?

-Became a bigger addict of scrapbooking

-Starting enjoying my quiet early mornings ----as long as there was coffee involved

-Saw God answer major prayers

-God has given me a new love for my family

-I have learned that I might not like my circumstances, but it doesn't mean that God has not called me to them

-we got rid of two of our cats (don't fret...they were sent to nice homes.....not like those nice country farms.....)

-We got rid of cable

-We traded our Yukon for a Honda Civic

-I have taken more photos than I know what to do with (oh wait, you probably know that)

-I questioned the gifts that God has given me more than I ever have

-I have held close to friends instead of walking away when things get tough

-I have been ok walking out of the house with baby drool on my shoulder and a snotty nosed boy in my arms

-I joined a gym and LOVE IT

-I still have not walked in my back yard

-I still hate nature and snow

-I am learning how to cook and bake (operative word: learning)  

-I have never loved someone more than I have loved my son