Caleb's party was not what I had in mind. At all.
The problem is-- I don't really know what I had in mind. I hate event planning and hate forcing to be extroverted at said events.
I really hate the idea of first birthday parties. I mean seriously, what kind of person remember's their first birthday party? It is so much more for the adults. The rational side of me questioned why we would throw time, money and energy into a party for our baby that will not remember it. Why don't we do something cool for us?
So we went to a pizzeria and pub on New Year's Day. "You have a baby. In a bar. You have a baby in a bar." (NAME THAT MOVIE:))
I was frustrated that we could not make reservations.
It was hard to mingle with everyone, and even if I could do that well, I HATE mingling.
It was hard to blend our families and our friends. We were so appreciative that both came, but hard to have those worlds collide.
I did not make a sweet, awesome, thought filled homemade cake. I actually hated the cake, it was so lame looking. But who was I kidding? That's what you get when you order the cake the day before...(er---your husband orders it, and you expect him to read your mind about what kind of cake you wanted).
I wish that we had a bigger house that we could entertain our friends and family in
I wanted to get some amazing pictures of my son's birthday....of him, of people there, of us as a family.....
If the pity party is quite large enough, let me add that I hated all the pictures I saw of myself. I looked like a man, a fat man.
I am so going to be ready for his second birthday.
2 comments:
Sweet Home Alabama!
I'm sorry you had a hard day. I have to say, though, that I'm SURE Caleb felt loved. :) If you hadn't adopted him, maybe he wouldn't have been celebrated at all..??
You're doing a great job, friend. I really admire you.
--Krista
You may be being a bit hard on yourself. I am sorry you were not happy with the party. It was a nice time & we were very happy to be invited. While it was a bar, it is just as much a bar atmosphere as Applebees. It was fun, and you were kinda forced into the whole football watching thing. So try to let it go. Next year will be different. I can totally see while it seemed like a fail, but remember you are way more critical of yourself than anyone else. Love you!
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