Before you give advice, let me remind you that we all grieve differently. I need to move on. Not because I don't love this sweet baby. She has had my heart since August, and will always be a part of my life. I may never meet her on this earth, but I love her and pray for her. My heart longs for her to know her Savior, to know the love of her heavenly father. I am saddened at the thought that she may never meet or know her earthly father. I pray that she would grow into a healthy adult that loves God and loves people. I know its strange. I know you might not understand, but I have a daughter...she lives an hour away and we have never met and probably never will. My love will not end.
But, I must move on.
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
I believe that God is going to bring us a baby. I was reminded of this today from a dear friend and neighbor. He told me that his children pray for us every day, asking God to bring us our baby. I thought to myself "it might be time to tell them that it is not going to happen, lest they begin to doubt the power of God....yada....yada.....pity party for myself and so on....." Luckily this friend continued on before I could continue on in my nonsense, with a reply, "And we will keep praying, because we still want God to bring you your baby. We just don't know what it will happen."
But I must move on.
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
Yesterday, I loaded the nursery into the car and traveled to take everything back (well, we kept a few essentials)
-Because some things were gifts, and in the craziness of putting the nursery together we have lost some receipts. You can't return things without a receipt. Also, for the receipts we did have...they were expired. So there I was at the service desk, crying, asking the sales lady, "So what do you suggest I do with all of this baby girl stuff, and no baby girl?" She had sympathy on me---or just wanted me to leave the store, but still had to obey the rules. Apparently I could return $60 worth of stuff if I used my drivers license. Great. What about the other stuff? I looked at her with tears. She suggested my husband use his drivers license as well...so between the two of us, we were able to return SOME things. If anyone would like to return other stuff for us on your drivers license, we need you. We need this stuff out of our house.
Let me back up a little.....I thought this would be an easy shopping trip....just return things and leave.....
Well, if the first melt down in Target, complete with tears didn't convince me that I needed someone else by my side, the second one sure did. So I called for reinforcement.
Jon, the most amazing husband in the whole entire world.....I called and asked if he wanted to come and see a movie. Lame, but I couldn't just tell him that I was in the store parking lot bawling my eyes out and couldn't leave until he came......
So he came, we returned things, had dinner and saw a movie. It ended well.
Jon got his emotions out at the movie.....crying through its entirety.
Me, well I bought myself a nice ring with a November birthstone. November is my birth month, as well as the birth month of my daughter.
But, I must move on.
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
I believe that God is going to bring us a baby. I was reminded of this today from a dear friend and neighbor. He told me that his children pray for us every day, asking God to bring us our baby. I thought to myself "it might be time to tell them that it is not going to happen, lest they begin to doubt the power of God....yada....yada.....pity party for myself and so on....." Luckily this friend continued on before I could continue on in my nonsense, with a reply, "And we will keep praying, because we still want God to bring you your baby. We just don't know what it will happen."
But I must move on.
Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
Yesterday, I loaded the nursery into the car and traveled to take everything back (well, we kept a few essentials)
-Because some things were gifts, and in the craziness of putting the nursery together we have lost some receipts. You can't return things without a receipt. Also, for the receipts we did have...they were expired. So there I was at the service desk, crying, asking the sales lady, "So what do you suggest I do with all of this baby girl stuff, and no baby girl?" She had sympathy on me---or just wanted me to leave the store, but still had to obey the rules. Apparently I could return $60 worth of stuff if I used my drivers license. Great. What about the other stuff? I looked at her with tears. She suggested my husband use his drivers license as well...so between the two of us, we were able to return SOME things. If anyone would like to return other stuff for us on your drivers license, we need you. We need this stuff out of our house.
Let me back up a little.....I thought this would be an easy shopping trip....just return things and leave.....
Well, if the first melt down in Target, complete with tears didn't convince me that I needed someone else by my side, the second one sure did. So I called for reinforcement.
Jon, the most amazing husband in the whole entire world.....I called and asked if he wanted to come and see a movie. Lame, but I couldn't just tell him that I was in the store parking lot bawling my eyes out and couldn't leave until he came......
So he came, we returned things, had dinner and saw a movie. It ended well.
Jon got his emotions out at the movie.....crying through its entirety.
Me, well I bought myself a nice ring with a November birthstone. November is my birth month, as well as the birth month of my daughter.
2 comments:
I totally will let you use my licence. Just let me know when and where to meet you.
Enjoyed walking into the FLC tonight and hearing your laugh. Love you.
Rachel
Kristin,
Have Jon drop off whatever you need me to return to my home or office, I will help...
I love you both and will continue to pray for healing of your hearts and that you are soon blessed with a baby.
I love the story about your Neighbors...children's prayers are so touching and genuine. To add a little humor...Zachary prayed Saturday night that God would help Uncle Jon get on the nice list instead of the naughty list. Not sure why Zachary thinks Jon is on the naughty list. I can say he asked at least 5 times Saturday night why Uncle Jon did not come with Aunt Kristin. You are loved more that you will ever know.
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