Things to Never Say to a Foster Parent

1. What happened to his parents? Why is he in foster care?
        First off, each story is different, and the story belongs to the child. Not you. And be careful how you are asking. There is a huge difference in asking about a baby and a 10 year old.  A 10 year old is already wrestling with why they are being taken away, why mom and dad are not able to care for them. They feel sometimes, like they are to blame. So let's do the kids a service and at the very least not ask those questions in front of them.

2. How long will you have her?
   We don't know. Actually no one knows. Only a judge can decide that, so unless we just went to court, nothing has changed. I'll give you a clue though....very rarely are kids in foster care for less than 6 months, and the hope is to have a permanency plan within a year. Obviously, this is the ideal situation, and doesn't always happen. Also, court hearings happen every 90 days. If there hasn't be a hearing, there is no new news. Just sayin.

3. I could never be a foster parent.
    Why do you say that? Sure, being a foster parent is hard. Totally hard. Lots of appointments, parent visits, loving on kids that may or may not love you back, having bio parents tell you how bad  you are at caring for their children, etc.....    
    There are the days where I think, "no more." I can't deal with the system. I'm done. And then I remember that God has called me to be here. I remember that God gives us strength for the things he calls us to do. It's not about what I have, it's not about what I can do, but it is all about leaning on Jesus and pressing in to Him.
    Is it going to be hard to let go? Sometimes. The baby we have now, will be extremely hard to say goodbye. Isn't that what we want though? If we are so quick to hand over kids and say goodbye, it probably means that we weren't that attached with to begin with. And don't these kids need all the love, attention and support they can get? I will do my best, with the strength of God, to love these kids well, to connect with them, and have them be a part of my family.

4. Those kids are so lucky to have you.
    Enough. This statement just makes foster parents sounds like heroes. We're not. We're broken, messy sinners.

5. I can't believe (foster agency) throws you around like that.
   I get it. I don't get to get frustrated for those things, I signed up for those things. I signed up to get thrown around. Side note: I wish that I didn't get frustrated...but I totally do.

6. Will you keep her?
    What do you mean? Like a puppy? Seriously? Why are you asking that? See #2........we don't know when a child will return home or if they return home. Our answer for this question asked right now of  Miss Chicky baby is "If we get the chance....yes."

I am so thankful that God has called me to be on the foster care road. It's hard, it's lonely, but it is so so worth it. Wanna join me?