This morning, as I was praying, I thought, "you know, I haven't really prayed about foster care in a while." I have been secretly waiting that we would not get a call in the month of June. I guess not so secret...I prayed about, just haven't really talked to anyone about it since we have had our licence.
I found myself praying, and asking the Lord to bring a foster child to our house. I even said, "Lord, I believe that you can make the phone ring right now." And then quickly, I felt sick to my stomach, guilty, and don't know what else to pray besides, "Lord, we are ready. We are willing. Your will be done."
I guess that is simply what I need to pray. Let the Lord know my heart (as if He doesn't already).
If I get excited about having another child in our house via foster care, it means that there is child in foster care, not with their parents and are experiencing brokenness that I will never know. I don't wish for that. I don't want birth parents to not be able to keep their children. I don't want unexpected pregnancies to happen. I don't want children to feel unwanted or unloved. I don't want abuse to happen.
But it does.
And it breaks my heart.
And I want to be used to bring redemption and healing.
And yet, I don't know what to pray.
It doesn't quite feel right to pray, "Lord bring us a baby tomorrow," when I know the circumstances of how that would come about.
And yet, I know that we live in a broken world, and I know that there are kids in the system now, and they will be there tomorrow.
So Lord, I am not sure what to pray, but here we are. Use us.
What would you pray?
1 comment:
I am so excited for you! I truly feel called to foster care, and I'm just waiting for the time in my life that Jesus tells me is right. I think you said exactly what you should be praying! Pray that Jesus uses you in the brokenness that already exists! Pray that you are chosen...not that there would be a child made an orphan for you, of course, but that you would be MADE a parent for that child!
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