Because this is what I feel like right now

I wish I could say that it has just been a bad week, but it has been HORRIBLE.
I wish that I didn't battle depression and anxiety the way that I do.
I wish that my circumstances were drastically different.
I wish that I would have to be deciding how to cart a new born around the state to see family for thanksgiving instead of what we are going to bring as our dish to pass.
I wish that the thought of taking baby girl stuff back to the store had never crossed my mind.
I wish that I could sleep through the night
I wish that I could wake up in the morning without a HUGE cloud of hopelessness around me
I wish that I could wake up in the morning, instead of dealing with problems by sleeping
I wish that I didn't deal with life's problems by sleeping
I wish that I didn't deal with life's problems by overeating
I wish that I could pick out a Christmas dress for Miss Noelle
I wish that when asked to share how God is taking us through this process I could have answer
I wish I wasn't so mad at God right now
I wish I was doing things with my full potential
I wish I had friends that lived closer
I wish that I could hide the bruises
I wish I could do more than cry
I wish that I would not have to take time off of work, or take time away from life because of the hurt and pain
I wish people would stop saying "God has other things in store, God knows whats best, This baby must not be for you, There is another baby out there, plenty that need adopting,"
I wish you would just give me a hug and cry with me, your words seem so empty
I wish that I was rocking my baby to sleep instead of writing a sappy depressing blog entry

Before you freak out...Jon and I are dealing with it... we are surviving, and believe that God is going to take us through it. We are praying and seeking Him, but life is hard. Sometimes you just want to throw things and stamp your feet.

Today, I am thankful for a God that is bigger than my problems.