Today, I started studying this.

Curiousity Kills the Cat

Yes, this is Caleb's Pack N Play. Before you freak out, I know that a cat should not sleep with a four month old, I snapped the picture and then quickly removed Tobi.

Where there is 1, there is 3....they can usually be found staring out the window

Briton and Kaya licking out of the shower faucet. You would think they never had full water dishes.

High Five!

Whenever I start packing, Kaya immediately jumps in my suitcase. It is a regular thing now.

For a few weeks early in our married life, we lived in a hotel. In our "pet friendly hotel room" we had hot tub...Kaya thought it was her bed. One night, it was filled and we forgot to drain it and she jumped in the water...HA! Had to be there.

If you look closely, you can see Kaya helping us pack up our apartment.

One time I could not find Briton and looked everywhere. Finally...Kaya lifted her head and we realized she was laying on top of him.

Kaya fell in the toliet, and I was drying her off.

Kaya helped me send out newsletters one day.

You know in the winter when you seal your windows? Kaya had "unsealed" them for us and then got herself stuck in the plastic covering.

Falling through the clothes drying rack.

Trying on her new "super cat" plastic bag cape.

We are looking to get rid of two of our cats. They are super cute, super fun, super cuddly, but they are needy and are wanting more attention than we can give them. Would you like one or two?

What could be better?

• Than hearing from your social worker that the birth parents rights were terminated?
  

• Than hearing from your social worker at 10am when normally you hear at 4:30?
  

• Than hearing from your friend that she prayed specifically that we would hear an answer early in the day?
  

• Than being able to have Jon off to celebrate with us?
  

• Than to hug a friend in the afternoon because we had to park our car in her driveway?
  

• Than to re-unite at the retinologist with 3 other babies that were in the same NICU as Caleb at the same time?

• Than to hear that all of those babies are doing well?
  

• Than to have a 2 hour wait in the doctors office, when last month it was closer to 5?
  

• Than having a husband to surprise you with a chocolate chip cookie?
  

• Than to hear that your child NEVER has to undergo the traumatic eye appointments?
  

• Than to hear that your child's eyes are developing completely normal and should have no vision problems?
  

• Than to hug a friend in a grocery store who is moving away on Friday?
  

• Than to celebrate the days events with great friends and neighbors by having dinner and dessert together?
  

• Than to hear your favorite neighbor children tell you that they have been praying that Caleb gets to stay with us?
  

• Than to ask the bakery to write the following on a cake "Caleb is Home to Stay"
  

• Than to hear from your gramma saying that she read all about Joshua and Caleb in her time in the Bible this morning?
  

• Than to enjoy a nice cup of coffee and homemade pie?
  

• Than to get to know a new couple from church?
  

• Than receiving TONS of phone calls/text messages/facebook posts, etc letting me know that people have been praying and are now praising God!!

What could be better?

• Than serving a God that is a father to the fatherless and who cares deeply and passionately for the orphans?
  
• Than a God who cares so deeply about the desires of my heart?

What could be better?

• Maybe if I was a little thinner in that picture above?

Yeah, my day was pretty good.

The termination news we have been waiting for!!!

The rights of the birth parents have been removed, makes us one step closer to having full custody!!!

Things went smoothly and God answered prayers!!!

Thought I would give you a short update...more to come...

On the eve of the termination hearing

To those who think that I have had a great attitude about this adoption process,
To those who think that I have great faith,
To those who have admired a simple blog about our journey,
To those who think that they don't have the strength to go down such a journey,
To those who have prayed,
who have encouraged,
who have stood beside us,
who have cried with us and for us,
who have held our hands....

Tonight,
I
Need
You.

Tomorrow is the scheduled termination hearing, terminating the rights of the birth parents. I am nervous, anxious, sick to my stomach, scared, weeping, frozen, paralyzed.

I wish I could say that I have the faith to trust God, but I am praying in my unbelief.

I wish my husband didn't pray tonight, "Whatever happens tomorrow Lord, it will not change our decision to follow You." In my simple mind, that gives God permission to take Caleb from us. As if He needs permission. I am trying to remember the words we sang in church today, and know them to me be true..."He gives and takes away......Blessed be the name of the Lord." This is not just a song we sing, but a truth that we have to live by.

I wish I could skip Monday and wake up Tuesday morning and people could tell me how things turned out.

I feel like Moses. I need people on both sides of me holding my arms up during the battle, I do not have the strength to do it on my own. I need you to have faith for me. I need you to pray for me. I need you to pray for the hearing tomorrow. Pray that Caleb can stay with us.

Tonight, I am a weary warrior.

Such a big weekend for such a little guy

Caleb had a busy weekend!

Thursday we left town and headed 2 hours to go visit both grandparents.
Friday he spent time with Nonni (Jon's mom). Later in the afternoon we headed to visit my mom and work. She is a second grade teacher and she was able to show him off to her fellow teachers and her students. She was a pretty proud gramma!
Saturday he was showered with love at my cousin's baby shower. He was the only boy and was passed around and held by most everyone.

Now
he
is
fast
asleep.

No, my day did not turn out as planned thank you very much.

It all started at 3:30am, when I heard Caleb gasping for air. That doesn't sound right. Come to find out he had puked through his nose. Sparing the details, lets just say it was a mess. And he hated us for using the bulb to clean him up.

Then his nose started bleeding.
At 4am he was wide awake, and I was not ready to wake up. Jon brought his swing upstairs to his bedroom, put him in it, thinking it would pacify him for a while so I could sleep.

4:15a, he starts crying. We give eating a try. He ate a little, not much, mostly screamed.
4:45a, he fell asleep in my arms and we decided to take a nap on the couch

6a- the tears start again, he has spit up all over himself, and all over me. He is crying, and acting hungry. I fed him, he did not want to eat.

6:30a- I made a very healthy breakfast for myself. I have been working hard this week on eating healthy and exercising and I was not going to let this day win. Eggs, spinach, mushrooms and turkey sausage was a great breakfast for this South Beach Diet(er).

6:50a-I laid on the couch and fell asleep. {Maybe I will get some sleep after all!}

8am- Screaming baby, round #2 of puking through the nose and not breathing. Got him all cleaned up and he was ready to snuggle for a little bit.
9am- Screaming baby, acting very hungry, but refusing to eat.

9:45a- I surrendered, and called his doctor. I explained that he has been a grump for a few days, not eating well, puking through his nose at least once a day, and puking all the time. They said to call back.

9:45-10:45a- Waiting to call the doctor back, snuggling with the boy

10:45a- call the doctor. Nothing. They asked me to call back after lunch. Caleb finally ate 3 oz.

11:00-12:00p- nap time for both mom and baby.
12:00p- Me feeling really guilty that nothing productive has happened today.I have not done any housework, I have not done any campus work, I have not done an admin work!! Started to get some things in line to start some work for the day.

12:45p- Doctor's office calls. Sounds like a simple solution. We are doubling his acid reflux medicine. He is on the same dosage since birth and he is now triple that birth weight. We will see how it goes.

1p- Caleb eats another 3oz!
1:30p-2:00p Caleb cries and cries and cries.
2p--- Caleb is sleeping, I am blogging, laundry is in, work has started....

No, this day has not gone as planned.

There was a lot of this: But somehow it is all worth it when you see this: