Thursday, September 20, 2012
In which foster care is my spiritual act of worship
Please hold the congrats. Apparently this is what people say when you tell them that you have foster 2 kids.
And I don't get it.
First of all, we did nothing to "get the kids." Jon and I simply said that we would be used by God in this way. In order for the kids to be with us, it means that they have faced some rough things at home. They have gone through and experienced things that they shouldn't have. Please don't congratulate me because a mother has made bad choices and it has caused her children to be removed from her home.
That is not exciting to me. It makes my heart sick and makes my soul long for the perfected world that Jesus will bring. It makes my heart so heavy that I can't not do anything about it.
And what is exciting about explaining to an 8 year old that he has to move to another home, transfer schools, make new friends and may or may not go back home? When will that be? How do we help him?
And please do not be excited or congratulate me when the boys go back home with mom. This has been the plan from the beginning. We know it and are planning on it. I am guarding my heart with a steel trapped door. I know that there will be tears. I know it will be hard. I know that in this season of life, I am going to have to cling to Jesus with all I have.
And lets just say that the kids remain in our home forever. Still not a celebration. G will have a hard time mourning and transitioning. In order for the boys to stay, A LOT OF WRONG has to happen.
Like...no suitable family members (lets not get excited that there is no family member that is able to keep the kids. This should break your heart.)
Like....mom would have to have some pretty huge mistakes. Why would I wish that on someone?
When we tell people about our foster care plans, I do not want the "congrats." I want people to see the God I worship. The God that cares for injustice and cares for the orphans. The God who sustains me through sleepless nights, false accusations, discipline and ringworm.
Being involved in foster care with how is how I worship God. It doesn't come easy, it's messy and hard, but when God says to "care for orphans", I believe that He really meant it. And so, I will obey.
I will obey when it's hard, when I want to be selfish, when I want to give up, when there are tears, when I haven't had a conversation with my husband in days, when our house is infected with ringworm, when I feel like everyone is getting the worst of me, and when I am so alone. I will obey because God said to do it.
Because in this season, caring for orphans is how I worship.
Did I mention ringworm? UGH!
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5 comments:
Thank you for posting this. it helps me understand you better. I appreciate a post like this that is so real. Thanks for worshiping Jesus in this way, my friend! You encourage me.
Ringworm? Dang, I think you get extra blessings somewhere along the road for dealing with that.
Friend. You are always, always on my heart. When I was 4+ hours away, on my heart, when I was knee deep in laundry, on my heart.
I don't know what God is doing. What he is asking. but I do know that He sees your heart of worship, and that is a pleasure to Him.
Hi! I am a fellow foster parent, as well as an adoptive parent. I like some of the thoughts on this... like the part about not "congratulating" in receiving a foster placement, cuz that's awkward due to the awful circumstances surrounding it. However, I will COMPLETELY be excited if our foster daughter goes home to her parents. And I would hope others tell me they are excited too!! It means that a family was reunified, and lives were changed... things that I believe God celebrates!! Also, if she remains ours forever, that will be something to celebrate as well!! Obviously there is grief involved, and a past that can't be changed, but adoption is a picture of what God has done for us in bringing us into his family... and it is always a celebration (in my opinion) when children are placed into a forever family. Our other daughter was adopted from Ethiopia (out of much, much heartbreak), but we celebrated her coming into our family with reckless abandon!! :) And I wouldn't do it any other way :) Just my two cents... maybe not worth anything, but hey!
Just wanted to add that I love your heart, and THANK YOU for choosing to love children through foster parenting!!
I am not sure if Rebecca has ever told you the story of Sam and of course she doesn't even know all of it when it comes to all the emotions, etc. I remember sitting with a Dad weeping in my office (a tough construction guy) for a final counseling session after losing his kids in court and barely being able to hold myself together until he left, breaking down because I was in the process of taking a mother's child away from her. Despite knowing it was the right thing in trying to fight to keep him I was still causing a mother (his mother) tremendous pain. When his mother finally quit fighting it (almost 2 years) and signed the papers I remember my pastors wife being so excited and saying we should celebrate. And yet I didn't feel like celebrating and felt a saddness (not because I didn't love and want Sam) but how do you celebrate a mother's mental illness, poor life choices, etc. that led to this circumstance in the first place. God will richly bless you and the children that come into your home as He has done with us. God was in work in all of our situation in so many ways - like having just completed a Bible study on James (care for the orphans) before taking Sam in.
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