The fact that there are more slaves today than during the trans atlantic slave trade, the fact that slavery is a very real evil in every state in the US , the fact that humans are treated like commodities, piss me off. Forgive the language, but I cannot find a more accurate "clean" word to describe the brokenness of my heart and the anger that is stirred when I hear and speak about human trafficking.
And then I watch this video. And it changed everything.
I did not have to spend any time processing or praying, I knew exactly what it is that God wants me to be an advocate for.
It should be obvious, really. It keeps me up at night. It has been the cause of countless tears, screaming at the Lord (Why, Lord?!?! How long will you let this go on?) It has been the source of so many prayers, so many conversations, so much frustration, so much heartache. It is what causes my stomach to churn and for my fighting fists to go up.
The issue: Orphans. Children and teens in foster care. Adoptable children.
And all along, I thought it was be being judgmental. I had no idea that God was beginning to show me His heart on this issue. I had no idea that my feelings were a reflection of the perfect, holy, God that loves those kids far more than I ever will.
I was reading in Romans 8, and about creation groaning. All of creation groans, because the glory of God is not revealed or displayed. I can picture all of these children, and I am G R O A N I N G. A pain that cannot be ignored. A pain that demands sacrifice and action. And then I think about Jesus. How He must hurt. How He must be saying to the Father, "How long? How long until we go back and make all things new?"
Here I am groaning. How long Lord?
And I am reminded of the call placed on my life a long time ago, to be a home for orphans.
Period.
Even if it is hard (which it will be).
Even if my feelings are hurt.
Even if we can't adopt everyone.
Even if it means sleepless nights for the rest of my life.
Even if it means that we have kids and teens with "issues."
Even if it is hard.
Even if it doesn't make sense.
Even if I can't figure out how to be on staff with InterVarsity, have a photography business, do ministry in church and be a family.
Even if I have to drive to endless visits of counseling and therapy.
Even if I am sick.
Even if I don't want to.
Because the way of the cross isn't dependent on my will.
Because in the end, my feelings don't really matter all that much. Jesus didn't ask any of us to follow Him on this easy road, but told us to take up our cross (Sacrifice) and follow Him, no matter what.
2 comments:
Yes, yes, yes.
Amen!!
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