Fairytales and Gumdrops

Some of you may know, in January I became a stay at home mom. I never in a million years thought I would journey down this road. I enjoy working, I always thought being at home would be boring.

It has been filled with the sweet sounds of children waking up in the morning politely requesting their breakfasts and then overjoyed when I give them their first meal of the day.

It has been filled with hugs and snuggles and kisses.

It has been filled with two children, napping at the same time all afternoon, leaving mom with some beautiful time by herself.

It has been filled with glorious play dates, with kids playing so well together and their mammas enjoying adult conversation.

It has been filled with this mamma sipping hot coffee, spending lots of time in God's word and making her time with the God the highest priority.

It has been filled with lots of extra time to work out. This mamma doesn't do much all day, so it has been time to get her booty into gear and shed those pounds that have been sticking on.

It has been amazing how clean and organized my house is. I can get so much done when I am at home all day.

Or, maybe not. 

Some of those above sentences are true, but I will let you decide.

My time at home as been more like this:

Screaming kids. Kids who protest sleep.

Washing machine flooding our laundry room, leaving moldy worn out floors that needed to be replaced. 

Learning that my 4 year old has some very hard stuff he is dealing with. Who know we would be going through an identity crisis at 4?

Exhaustion. These kids run me ragged.

And this house.....will it EVER be clean? 

Spilled drinks. Spilled meals. Actually the spills I can take. It's when my 4 year old gets in one of his fits, and ends up throwing everything that is in front of him, that requires me to have extra grace and patience. 

 My days have been filled with foster care visits,
 case worker visits,
play dates,
cleaning up the same mess 100 times,
looking at my phone every single minute to see if any time has passed,
and filled with random laundry....EVERYWHERE.

 I have learned more about superheros than I ever thought possible.

My relationship with my son is closer than ever before.

I have been on the front lines and have experienced the brunt of his anger, aggression, tantrums, and fits.

I have sat with him and talked about ethnicity, adoption, foster care, and what a family means.

I make an hour drive with my boy to go see a childhood counselor once a week. 

I have found household objects in the most random of places.

I have been spending my days cherishing the moments we have with Chick. We don't know how much longer she will be with us. I am trying to build a relationship with her parents. It has been a very very slow process.

 We have been dealing with sleep issues. Chick doesn't nap. Caleb is either off or on. He could sleep all night and all day, or he could be awake for two days straight. (Again part of what we are trying to figure out what we are dealing with emotionally and physically with our boy).

 This crazy girl....well, she loves that I am home, and is found, far too often under my feet.

When the Lord first led me to stay at home, I was surprised at how quickly the decision was made and why. I loved my job. I loved working. I loved being in ministry. Why stay at home?? It has been made crystal clear over the last few months.

Never have we had a harder season of parenting. I am sure there will be several posts on that, but I know for this season, it is absolutely necessary for me to be home with Caleb, to give him extra attention, to attend counseling sessions with him, to love on him, and give him the extra care he needs right now.

I never thought I would be here, but I am so glad I am. 

The Morning Mommy Challenge

      About a year ago, I read a blog post about this fantastic mamma. She was convicted to get up for her children, not get up to her children. I dreaded hearing the cries of my two year old waking me up, after I had a late night at work. I was beginning to resent my child....resent him for waking up.

     I had to change. I couldn't live a life where I was mad at my son for waking up. I knew that we would have more kids in our house, and my attitude and lifestyle was not going to cut it. Change was a' comin! I began waking up at 6:30. I would sip on some coffee, spend a few minutes with God through prayer and Bible Study, and get started on some work. Over the course of a year, I have gradually gotten up early. *GASP* Monday- Friday, my alarm goes off at 5:30am, and on the days where I am REALLY lucky Miss Chicky Baby wakes me up a 5am.
 
      I NEVER thought I would be the person to wake up so early, but I am realizing I need it. I crave my morning time with the Lord. If I am not filled by Him, how can I possibly give to my kids, to my community and to college students?  Once I hear "Mom!" from my preschoolers bedroom, I am ready to greet him with a big hug and kiss, telling him "Good Morning, I just spent some time praying for you my sweet boy! I am so glad you are awake. Let's do this day!"

 The Process:
1. Plan ahead. I lay things out that I will need the night before. (Bible Study tools, journal, planner, etc)
- Set up the coffee pot.
- Clean the house, so I don't wake up to a mess. Boy, how that can ruin a day quick.
-Go to bed on time. For real. I need a bed time. I need to stick to one! It's much easier to wake up when you are rested.
-Look at my planner? Do I need to do anything to plan for tomorrow?

2. Get out of bed.
-Hitting snooze feels so good, but you will be much more awake if you actually step out of bed. Sometimes I tell myself, "I am just going to walk to the bathroom and back to bed" Usually by the time I get to the bathroom, I am awake enough to go downstairs and turn on the coffee pot.

3. Time with the Lord 
-I spend time in Bible Study, prayer and journaling.

4. Check messages (Email and facebook) 

5. Look at my planner. What is on the agenda today? What do I need to prepare for? 

6. Shower. 
I would love for this to be the first thing I do, to wake me up, but I fear that it will also wake up my 4 year old. I wait to shower until I don't care whether or not he is awake (after 7am).

7. Work 
-If kids are still sleeping, I am able to get some work done. This may or may not happen each day:) The trials and joys of working from home.

The Challenge: This year of getting up early in the morning has been so refreshing and life changing for me. I want to invite all of you, even the non-mommies, or the mommies who don't have kids at home. Starting our day off right, makes a huge difference.

If you are interested in joining me, let me know. I'd love to create a facebook group for accountability and support. Looking forward to seeing more of my friends be changed by the Lord by spending time with Him in the morning hours:)

His Heart

        I am so thankful for my son's sensitive heart. I need to remind myself of that daily, because this kid is sensitive with a capital S. If you look at him wrong, he will burst into great big, uncontrollable tears. I can get frustrated pretty easily, but in the past few weeks, I have been able to see how his sensitive heart may be a great strength and a gift from God. 

       He is quick to ask to pray for someone or about a situation. If an emergency vehicle drives by, he asks, "Where's the fire? Is there an accident? Is someone hurt?" Once we convince him that mom and dad don't know the reason for every siren we hear, he wants to pray because, "If someone is hurt, that's not good. I wouldn't want to be hurt." 

      He is quick to get his feelings hurt, which makes it easier to help him be nice to others. This week he was talking about a kid and said, "I don't like him." We talked about what it would feel like if kids went around saying, "I don't like Caleb." He understood that words hurt. 

     He threw something at a baby on accident. Baby cried, and was quickly soothed. Caleb on the other hand, cried for a good 20 minutes,  hearing an "I'm sorry" through the sobs. 

     Yesterday he was one naughty 3.5 year old. Wow. Crazy naughty. I was sooo frustrated. I yelled a lot. Later in the afternoon we went to the park. I saw with him on a bench, and apologized for yelling at him. I said that what he did was still wrong, but mamma shouldn't have acted that way and I asked for his forgiveness. He put his face in his hands and said, "Can we just not talk about this, it really hurts my heart." 

"It really hurts my heart." 

That struck a chord with this mamma. I know what that feels like. I am a "feeler" vs a "thinker." I understand. It takes one to know one kid.  

And though his emotional side may some days be his greatest weakness, I am praying that God uses his sensitive heart for His glory. A heart that will quickly respond to the Spirit. A heart that will meet the needs of others. 

And for no other reason, except I like them, I leave you with pictures of Caleb and my niece Raegan riding a powerwheels vehicle in the house:) 

Because someday, he'll get it.

Caleb is a trooper. Because of parenting time that Chicky has, and the random DHS, and life "errands", we are in the car a lot. A typical conversation. And when I say typical ---every single time we get in the car.... 

C: "Mom, why did Jesus die?" 

Me: "We just talked about that. Can you tell me why?" 

C: "Mom, why did Jesus die?" 

Me: "He died because there was brokenness and sin in the world. By dying on the cross, he paid for the sin and brokenness." 

C: "The world is broken? And Jesus fixed it?" 

Me: "Yes. And No. There is still more." 

C: "I want Jesus back." 

Me: "That;s the best news. He died, and rose again, so He lives in our heart. We can get to know Him by praying and spending time learning the Bible." 

C: "If want my sin. That was Jesus wouldn't have to die. And we could be friends." 

Me:"See, that's the thing. With sin in our lives, we can't be friends with Jesus. Now we can." 

C: "BUT I CAN'T SEE HIM! I want him back."  

     "Did the solider kill Jesus?"  

      "Why did Jesus die?" 

I am not in kids ministry for a reason. I so value and appreciate those who can put great Biblical truth into words that little ones can understand. I can't. The first ten or so  above conversations we had were frustrating. It was the exact same conversation over and over. 

And then I realized, it was the exact conversation over and over. 

He was remembering. He was somehow linking pieces. 

And we will keep having this conversation until the end of time. It is the most important one I could ever have. Someday he'll get it. He'll understand the cross. He will see the brokenness in the world. He will see Jesus as Redeemer, and I will sit back and remember the good ol' minivan days, where his mind started asking all of these questions. 

It is so worth having the same conversation over and over. Because, someday, he'll get it. And I will be praising Jesus. 

When Worship is Hard

If you know me at all, you will know how shocking this statement is:

"I love my mornings." 

Really. Truly. It has taken about 1.5 years, but I have finally, most days, been in a good morning routine. Part of this time is spent with the Lord (and crazy amounts of coffee). I adore the early quiet hours of studying the Word, spending time in prayer, and journaling, before the littles in my house wake up.

It is then, that all is right with the world. It is then, that worship seems so easy. Quietness in my heart and house kind of worship. An "I give you my day," statement of worship.

And then the crazies that live in my house wake up. And I need to remember that my attitude in my heart and what I display to my children is also worship.

But that is when worship is the hardest. 

When I am in the shower and I hear Caleb say, "Mom, I just slipped in my room."
"What did you slip on?"
"The slippery stuff. Well, I just peed in my room and then fell."
"Mommy is in the shower. Get here in the bathroom. Sit down and have a time out." 

Only to find all the rolls of toliet paper.....unrolled.

This is when worship is hard. 

Or when a cup of yogurt is thrown across my dining room (ahem, freshly mopped floors.)

This is when worship is hard.

Or, when I have a baby who is constipated and has literally screamed for 24 hours. ( Do the math= no sleep for this mamma). And don't worry people, we use pear juice in this house, and we have poop!

When I am tired....this is when worship is hard.

Or when I put my three year old down for a nap, and hear crashing noises, only to find out, he has emptied his drawers, thrown his books, and moved his bed. GO. TO. SLEEP. For the love, go to sleep.

When nap time is cut....worship is hard.

Or when my house looks like a college guy's dorm room......

This is when it is hard to worship.

Or, when during a time out Caleb says, "I just went potty on the stairs because I was mad at you"

It's hard to worship.

Or when I feel like I haven't done anything significant today....

During the mundane trials of mommyhood, wifedom and home ownership, it is so good to reminded to take every thought and make it captive to Christ. If I am not glorifying God in my mind, I will not be glorifying Him in my actions.

These summer days are L O N G. And hard.

To all my mommy friends, may this be an encouragement to you, to start your day before your kids wake up. Don't wake up to your kids, wake up FOR your kids. It took me a while to get used to it and learn the difference, but I absolutely treasure my time in the morning with no kiddos.

The last two days at our house have been one for the books, but I know my attitude would be so much worse, had I not spent time with the Lord, giving Him my day, spending time in His word and being still.

So let's press on, shall we?

Three Year Old Theology

I love talking about God with my son. I have big dreams and prayers for him to grow up to be a man after God's heart, who is passionate about the word of God and is gifted in teaching. May it be so Lord.

Yesterday we were sitting on the couch having a discussion about thankfulness. I asked him what he could be thankful for.

"Thank you mommy for my snack!"

You're welcome. Is there anything else you could be thankful for?

"Thank you daddy for going to work so you can by me toy story."

Is there anything that you can thank God for?

"Thank you God for saving me."

What?

I was taken back. We don't use the term "saved" in our house, (insert soap box for a later post) but we do go to a church that uses it often. It is totally possible that he heard it at church, but I was almost certain he didn't know what it meant.

Buddy, how does God save you?

"Well, God is like a super hero. Super heros don't hurt people. They save people. So God saves people. Because he is a super hero."

And there you have it.

Theology, from a three year old.

He could write books I tell ya.

Overheard at my house....

Jon and G (8 year old foster son) reading:
G: Do I have to read all this? That's a lot of words.
Jon: Yes, it's good practice.
G: Dang it.

______________________________________________________________________________
When Caleb is stalling, particularly for nap or bed time, his tactics are to add things to his prayer list. The first thing to add, "Mommy pray for church." So we pray for our church....

And then he says, "Mommy pray for....for....um....pray for....."

And then he says, " I need something." We asks what he needs, and he responds, "Something."

Utterly annoying.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Caleb: "Can I have juice with a straw and a wrapper?"
Me: "You mean a juice box?"
Caleb: "Yes."
_______________________________________________________________________________
Me: "Caleb, why don't you go get yourself a kleenex and wipe your nose?"
Caleb: "Ok"
Caleb walking towards the bathroom...."Can I just look for money instead?"
________________________________________________________________________________
Whenever Caleb gets in trouble, he gets sent to his room or to the stairs for time out. We then will go talk with him and talk about why he is in time out. His response is always, "But I a good boy."
_________________________________________________________________________________

While pouring Caleb some milk.
Caleb: "Is that warm milk or cold?"
Me: "Cold. I just got it out of the fridge."
Caleb: "This house is weird."
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Caleb: "Mom, am I adopted?"
Me: "Yes, you are!" (ready to start a long age appropriate conversation).
Caleb."Ok" (and runs off to play).

________________________________________________________________________________

Caleb: "Baby J has black face, I have a brown face, you have a white face."
Me: "Yes, God made us all that way."
Caleb: "Good. So you know?"  (As if I missed that the past three years)
_____________________________________________________________________________

G to Caleb (a normal, everyday argument): "You snotty nose, you don't even know what 8+9 is."
Caleb: "Hahahha. Nope."
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November 5-- The best coffee date around

I feel like Caleb has been getting lost in the shuffle with busy work schedules, and now having two foster kids at home. This morning we had an extra three hours and decided to have a mommy and Caleb date. We went to a coffee shop, I had a beloved caffeinated drink, while my almost three year old had a hot chocolate. We talked. I worked. He colored. We split a scone. I helped him color. We talked. We laughed. We sang songs in the car.

It was beautiful. It was fun. I want to cherish times like this before he grows up too quickly.

On our way home, I asked him, "Can you be my baby forever?"

He responded: "Yep, forever and ever mommy."

Love that kid so much it hurts.

November 1- The Mouth Speaks

It's November!! One of my favorite months of the year.
-It's my birthday month
-It officially begins "the holiday season"
-It's my birthday month
-It's colder and big hoodies, sweaters and slippers are totally appropriate
-It's my birthday month
-It is a great time to practice the discipline of thankfulness
-It's my birthday month

What? You don't celebrate your birthday month. You totally should.

Each day of the month during November I will be posting at least one thing that I am thankful for.

Today: "The Mouth Speaks."

We have a cd in our car, Bible verses put to song. There is no question what Caleb's favorite song is...."The mouth speaks." He wants to listen to it on repeat. Forever. The verse is: "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34

Today I had a great conversation (as great as one can have with an almost three year old).

Caleb, do you know what this song means? 
Yep, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Right, but do you know what that means? If you have love in your heart, your words will speak love. If you have hate, anger, frustration, you will speak hate, anger frustration. 
Oh. 
Mommy is trying really hard to have the love of Jesus so that out of my mouth comes love.  What do you want to come out of your mouth? 
Jesus.
Do you remember what this song means? 
Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 
What do we want to flow out of our heart? 
Love. 
And what will come out of our mouth? 
I will just throw up out of my mouth.

I died.

And then I prayed that his little heart is filled with truth, love, grace and mercy and it flows right out of his heart.

The no good, terrible, bad, horrible day that I loved.

I was so proud of myself for being mom of the year. What 2 and half year old doesn't want to go see the REAL live Thomas? And not just see him, but get your picture taken with him? And if that wasn't enough, you could ACTUALLY ride the real Thomas. Someone pinch me, because this seems too good to be true. Mom of the year award coming up now.

We were gearing up for our Saturday morning Day Out with Thomas.

Until Friday night, when we were placed with newborn baby J. Friday night, I had about 30 minutes of sleep. I fell asleep at 6am. We were supposed to be out the door at 7:45. I woke up at 7:30a. We had nothing packed. We had baby J for less than 8 hours. We didn't know if we had enough diapers, formula, clothes etc. We literally threw tons of stuff in the car and ran out the door. Except you can'[t do that with a newborn. J started crying and needed to be fed. He ate till 8:15. Now we were late. Our train ride was at 10:30. It was a two hour drive, and you had to be there by 10. We might make it, if we sped.

And then we needed gas. Add 5 minutes to the trip. Can we make up five minutes? Maybe.

We call the ticket company and the park and get a hold of no one. I don't even know if it will be worth our time to make the drive. If we miss our 10 time, can we even get in?

And then..car sickness. If you know me, this is no surprise. I get very sick in cars, very quickly and very often. I will spare details. Because of this, we would be lucky if we got to the park at 11.

I was crying, I was feeling guilty, I was anxious.

My mom was driving to meet us. I was feeling so bad that she would have to make a 1 and half hour drive, just to turn around because we couldn't use our tickets.

I wanted to crawl in a hole  and cry. And sleep. And feel sorry for myself.

And then....we pulled into the park. We talked to the ticket counter, and they were SO GRACIOUS. That, or they were scared of my frantic tears and sob story. Either way, our tickets were moved and my boy LOVED meeting the Real Thomas.

With meema, waving at Thomas

This is the view from our car that we were riding in.

I never thought I would have such a good day meeting Thomas. The things that those kids do to a mom's heart. I loved seeing his face, and more so I love hearing him talk about that day now, a few weeks later. He loved it and had fun. That is all that matters.

Remember me next time your sleeping

I am welcoming coffee back into my life. And by welcoming it, I mean chugging it, and clinging to Jesus. 

I am about to enter the busiest season of ministry with InterVarsity. I am so excited. It is going to be hard work, long hours, oh...and add some hard work to that. NSO time can be a time of little sleep due to the amount of campus work, and then going home to the family and household stuff. 

God has a sense of timing that I will not quite understand. I kept praying today, "Lord, why  do you think is a good time for us to have a baby that doesn't sleep? Would this summer have been much better when I was MUCH LESS busy?" 

I am clinging to the prayers of my colleagues as they prayed for me, praying that I would have the rest I need, that I would fully depend on God and that our new baby would indeed sleep. 

Baby? What baby? Earlier this week, we received a placement for a 3 week old boy, Mr. J. Tonight we picked him up. He is great in every way minus the sleeping. He will only sleep if I am holding him, great for him, bad for me. 

Would you pray that Mr. J would get some deep rest, acclimate to our house, and feel comfortable? Pray for my attitude, strength and rest as I dive into New Student Outreach. 

 

Two is hard. On Monday, I heard Jon say to Caleb, "We know you have a switch, just tell us what makes it go off, and we can avoid it." I chuckled, because that question sums up all that we have been feeling and experiencing the last few months. Two is so hard. 

 Except when you see smiles like this. Then two is really fun. And hilarious. And special and sweet. 

 Until you have a toy thrown at you. Or food. Or both. At the same time. Then two is so not fun. 

 Except when it is. Like when he says, "I just wanna snuggle mamma." Then I melt. Those times, I think, "Man, I love two. It is so fun. Can he be two forever?" 

 Until I hear a crashing noise in his room and realize that he has thrown a porcelain piggy bank and it has shattered. Then I hate two. When will it be over? I can't do this anymore. 

 And then he crawls up on my lap, gives me big kisses, and says, "Mamma, how's your day? How we doing? How's your family?" And then I laugh out loud and can't believe how funny he is, wonder where he has heard this before and then become very aware that everything I say, he hears and repeats. 

 Excuse me while I go clean up the plate of food that was just thrown across the room. 

Does this post seem a little bi-polar? Emotional? From one extreme to another? 

You're welcome. 

You officially know what it's like in my house EVERY DAY. 

I like two. 

Except when I hate it. 

A Mother's Day First

In almost 8 years, I have not spent time with family on Mother's Day. It started when I was in college and went off to Chapter Focus Week with my InterVarsity Chapter. It would ALWAYS fall on the weekend of mother's day. 

And then I joined staff with InterVarsity. Over the years, I have put in 1-3 weeks a summer of Chapter Focus Week and every single one has been over Mother's Day weekend. 

But not this year. Just the way the calendar fell:) 

Instead, Chapter Focus Week ended the Friday before Mothers Day. My mother's Day gift was a hotel room, all by myself to recover from said week. Let me tell you, working with college students is not for the faint of heart. (I think I saw this on facebook from a colleague, so I am going to steal it.) Jon's parents still had Caleb (they watched him while I was gone), so we had to make the trip 2 hours east to pick up my baby. 

And I was able to see my little sister celebrate her first Mother's Day. 

While everyone was together, we had an impromptu photo shoot. I shutter at this picture. (Notice...open garage and car.Now that you see it, you can' take your eyes of it, can you?) 

We had to get a picture of mom and her girls. 

Time for Dad to join the picture. 

Our family tree is growing. Adding Raegan and Caleb to the mix. 

Sisters and their babies. (Even though Caleb looks like he is my size, I assure you, he is and forever will be my baby Cay-ub. 

My youngest sister, Jalissa with her niece and nephew. 

I think we have some hillbilly kids. Both with no shoes and Rae's diaper hanging out of her dress. Where are the parents? 

All of the sisters together. 

I

Happy Mother's Day!

My prayer for you my baby.

Cute video right?  I mean, come on. Cute kid. Kid who loves to dance naked?

This video is so much more than "cute." I want it to be truth that is in instilled on the heart of my baby boy.

"For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34 

My son, may you always speak words of wisdom and grace. May your tongue be slow and your ears be quick.

May you seek understanding before wanting to be understood.

May your words be filled with love.

May your lips speak the beauty of Christ.

May your speak scripture, because you have it memorized.

May your words be a treasure.

All because your heart, is passionately longing for the heart of Jesus.

10 on 10

I am joining the ranks of the 10 on 10 Challenge. The goal: Take photos each hour for 10 hours on the 10th day of the month. I tried! 

1. 9am Morning Coffee:

This is my favorite coffee mug! Looks like a camera lens, no? 

2. 10am Special Project: 

Fill a cake pan with baking soda, and then mix vinegar and food coloring. It will be endless fun! 

3. 11am Staff Life:

Had a great conversation with Lily today! 

4. Noon Lunch time: 

A full out tantrum ensued because Caleb was not allowed to have dessert until he finished the carrots. 

5. 1pm Troubled Nap Time: 

Sometimes naps are hard. They are getting harder and harder as Caleb gets older and older. He did not want to sleep in his bed. On the floor, with no pants, comfortable? Not for me! 

6. 2pm Reference 

Filling out a reference form for a student, as she applies for a summer internship 

7. 3pm Work Out 

FINALLY!!! It has been a shameful TWO MONTHS since I have last worked out. And today, it begins. Time to get back to being healthy! 

8.  4pm  Looked over at the couch and saw my baby girl Lila Pup. 

9.  5pm Family Walk 

Ok, so apparently 40 degrees was a little too cold, but we had fun. 

10.  7pm Gearing up for bed: 

My two favorite boys reading and getting ready for bed! 

"I Do Cheerios"

We are definitely in the idependent, "I can do all by myself, CAY-YUB, do it" stage. 

Even eating cereal. 

It makes mommy a little on the crazy side. 

"That's Mine Mumma."

There are few words that make me cringe more than, "That's mine, mumma."

Though, I am glad that my 2 year old is "normal" and going through correct developmental stages, I cannot stand those words coming out of the mouth of my son.

Really?

That truck is yours?

The crackers are yours?

This house is yours?

Those clothes are yours?

That cup is yours?

That movie is yours?

Really? 

Because in all of your two year oldness, you have gotten a job, received a pay check and have purchased said truck/toy/food/drink/? Thank you for filling me in. I was not aware of what you did all day.

I was pretty sure that most of the things that he "owns" are actually from my bank account, or gifts. And the toys and clothes are definitely going to be used again by his future sibling, or given away to someone else.

And as I speak and mumble to no one and everyone, I am quickly convicted. The Lord is so good at pointing out my sin. When I say to him, "Sorry Lord. That is mine"

It's my house.

It's my relationship.

It's my job.

It's my time.

It's my money.

It's my decision.

And I see that loving father shaking His head in disappointment. Disappointed that His daughter does not understand that gifts that have been lavished on her. How His heart must hurt when I am so quickly to recognize myself and not Him. I imagine it being like Christmas morning, when He is so excited to give me a gift. It is perfectly wrapped, a gift that He has thought about, put time and energy into, so that He could lavish blessing on me. I open this wonderful gift and toss it aside. Or better yet, act like the gift was never from Him anyways. Act like I don't know who it is from, but if I had to take a guess, it was probably me. I probably saw the gift at a store and wrapped it for myself, because I knew I would like it.

Crazy right?

Indeed.

And it is not even the recognition, but what I do with these gifts.

Nothing is mine anyways. Everything is His. Jon, Caleb, the house, the cars, the bank accounts, even my time. It's all His. I have absolutely no right to decide how those are spent. It is all His to begin with.

Lord, teach me to self less. To give more time. To give more money. To give more of myself when it hurts. To be willing to let go for the sake the kingdom. Because it's Yours anyway.

And.....I leave you with some pictures...

Why Staffwork is Good for Your Kids

I work with InterVarsity as a campus staff member. I love my job. I absolutely love my colleagues and cannot believe that God allows me to be a part of the great mission of His.

One of the many things that I love about InterVarsity is that being on staff with InterVarsity is good for your kids. So good in fact, that I will be featuring this on my blog on a regular basis. Here is installation #1.

Apparently college students are way funnier than normal people. Staff work is good for your kids, because it gets them to laugh once in a while, even if there is food in their mouth. 

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 Staff work is good for your kids, because they see young people studying the word of God and excited to apply truth to their lives. (And excited about manuscripting. Do you have to be an IV geek to know what I am talking about?) Even if Caleb was distracted by the pumpkin muffins, he is still seeing a love for Scripture, a prayer that I pray for him every day.

 

Staff work is good for your kids, because it gives them someone to look up to. 

Staff work is good for your kids, because they begin to fall in love with the students. They love having them added to their family and seeing them around campus. 

Staff work is good for your kids, because they learn about mentoring relationships, how to disciple and help one other person strive to be like Jesus.

Staff work is good for your kids because of the array of available babysitters. When mommy and daddy get to go out, they come home happy. Happy parents = happy kids.

Yep, it's true. Staff work is good for your kids.