And out of nowhere, I have pneumonia

On Tuesday of last week, I was crazy busy from 10am-9pm with photo shoots. It was awesome. The day I dream for. Around 6pm I started getting a migraine. I thought it was from dehydration and not eating super well throughout the day. I kept feeling more and more sick.

Wednesday morning when I woke up, I was in so much pain, I couldn't take a breath without it feeling like someone was stabbing me. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. Seriously? How did I not know that it was coming? And how does one get pneumonia in the middle of June?

The cure: Rest lots. Sleep a lot. Really?

Those medical people, they are pretty funny. Sleep seems like a rarity at our house. But my husband took those orders VERY seriously. He was my nurse, cook and took total care of the kids, and I slept. A LOT.

I am so grateful for a husband to let me sleep. I know that is the only reason why I am functioning as well as I am. I was so rested over the weekend. I want to still be able to get some rest during the day, because I don't want to relapse, but my amazing husband definitely set me up for success.

Just another reason why I love him!

Because someday, he'll get it.

Caleb is a trooper. Because of parenting time that Chicky has, and the random DHS, and life "errands", we are in the car a lot. A typical conversation. And when I say typical ---every single time we get in the car.... 

C: "Mom, why did Jesus die?" 

Me: "We just talked about that. Can you tell me why?" 

C: "Mom, why did Jesus die?" 

Me: "He died because there was brokenness and sin in the world. By dying on the cross, he paid for the sin and brokenness." 

C: "The world is broken? And Jesus fixed it?" 

Me: "Yes. And No. There is still more." 

C: "I want Jesus back." 

Me: "That;s the best news. He died, and rose again, so He lives in our heart. We can get to know Him by praying and spending time learning the Bible." 

C: "If want my sin. That was Jesus wouldn't have to die. And we could be friends." 

Me:"See, that's the thing. With sin in our lives, we can't be friends with Jesus. Now we can." 

C: "BUT I CAN'T SEE HIM! I want him back."  

     "Did the solider kill Jesus?"  

      "Why did Jesus die?" 

I am not in kids ministry for a reason. I so value and appreciate those who can put great Biblical truth into words that little ones can understand. I can't. The first ten or so  above conversations we had were frustrating. It was the exact same conversation over and over. 

And then I realized, it was the exact conversation over and over. 

He was remembering. He was somehow linking pieces. 

And we will keep having this conversation until the end of time. It is the most important one I could ever have. Someday he'll get it. He'll understand the cross. He will see the brokenness in the world. He will see Jesus as Redeemer, and I will sit back and remember the good ol' minivan days, where his mind started asking all of these questions. 

It is so worth having the same conversation over and over. Because, someday, he'll get it. And I will be praising Jesus. 

When Worship is Hard

If you know me at all, you will know how shocking this statement is:

"I love my mornings." 

Really. Truly. It has taken about 1.5 years, but I have finally, most days, been in a good morning routine. Part of this time is spent with the Lord (and crazy amounts of coffee). I adore the early quiet hours of studying the Word, spending time in prayer, and journaling, before the littles in my house wake up.

It is then, that all is right with the world. It is then, that worship seems so easy. Quietness in my heart and house kind of worship. An "I give you my day," statement of worship.

And then the crazies that live in my house wake up. And I need to remember that my attitude in my heart and what I display to my children is also worship.

But that is when worship is the hardest. 

When I am in the shower and I hear Caleb say, "Mom, I just slipped in my room."
"What did you slip on?"
"The slippery stuff. Well, I just peed in my room and then fell."
"Mommy is in the shower. Get here in the bathroom. Sit down and have a time out." 

Only to find all the rolls of toliet paper.....unrolled.

This is when worship is hard. 

Or when a cup of yogurt is thrown across my dining room (ahem, freshly mopped floors.)

This is when worship is hard.

Or, when I have a baby who is constipated and has literally screamed for 24 hours. ( Do the math= no sleep for this mamma). And don't worry people, we use pear juice in this house, and we have poop!

When I am tired....this is when worship is hard.

Or when I put my three year old down for a nap, and hear crashing noises, only to find out, he has emptied his drawers, thrown his books, and moved his bed. GO. TO. SLEEP. For the love, go to sleep.

When nap time is cut....worship is hard.

Or when my house looks like a college guy's dorm room......

This is when it is hard to worship.

Or, when during a time out Caleb says, "I just went potty on the stairs because I was mad at you"

It's hard to worship.

Or when I feel like I haven't done anything significant today....

During the mundane trials of mommyhood, wifedom and home ownership, it is so good to reminded to take every thought and make it captive to Christ. If I am not glorifying God in my mind, I will not be glorifying Him in my actions.

These summer days are L O N G. And hard.

To all my mommy friends, may this be an encouragement to you, to start your day before your kids wake up. Don't wake up to your kids, wake up FOR your kids. It took me a while to get used to it and learn the difference, but I absolutely treasure my time in the morning with no kiddos.

The last two days at our house have been one for the books, but I know my attitude would be so much worse, had I not spent time with the Lord, giving Him my day, spending time in His word and being still.

So let's press on, shall we?

It is well with my soul

  As the weeks go on, many of you have asked what is new with our little Chicky Baby. There is NOTHING new. I promise. This is how foster care works, for better or for worse. The next time we will hear anything about Chicky's case will be the end of August. Until then, she will be living with us, loved on by us, spoiled, cared for, prayed for and will be a part of our family. We are praying and hoping that she gets to be a part of our family forever. 

  But, that may not happen. It is completely up to a judge, (and some other factors we won't get into). And if we don't get to raise Chicky as our daughter forever, it is ok. 

  It is well with my soul. 

  Really. 

 God has done a complete heart transformation. This little girl that is living at my house and occupies so much of my heart, has always been the Lord's. As much as I love her, and think I know that is best for her, God loves her so much more than I can comprehend. 

  It really comes down to whether or not I believe God is sovereign, in control and good. If He really is those things, then what reason to have to doubt?  

  Lord, it is well with my soul. 

 

  If we adopt Chicky, or if we don't. 

  Thank you Lord for bringing me to this place of peace! I know there will be hardship, but You have shown Yourself faithful and trustworthy. I will walk in Your truth and put my trust in You through this situation. 

 In the end, let my heart say, "It is well with my soul." 

Such is life....

Are ya'll ready for some random Monday? Like really random? 

My house is quiet right now. Seriously quiet. The only noise I hear is my cat purring. #introvertsdream #2kidsnapping. Ahhh, sweet sweet bliss! 

I have blue nail polish on my toes right now. I love it. Yay summer. 

I am absolutely obsessed with having a baby girl in my house. I mean, seriously. DYING over the pink, and bows, and headbands. Aside from the sheer cuteness of this baby. LOVE! 

Speaking of which, there is no news on Chicky Baby. Still in the waiting period for the courts. She is definitely a part of our family. Yesterday Jon and Caleb went to church before Chicky and I. I was feeding Chicky on the couch and Caleb brought her some of his toys and said, "I am leaving now, but I will let you have my toys. Don't be sad." 

Again. I die. 

And today, they were laying on a blanket together. I got my camera out and started snapping pics. Caleb said, "Ok good. Take a picture of us, because we are best friends." He gave her a big kiss and said, "Isn't that right girl? We are best friends." 

LOVE! 

I am so glad that Caleb is having lots of cute moments, because this season of life is pretty hard right now. He picked up a lot of behavioral issues from G, our 9 year old foster son that was with us. It has been hard undoing those things. We have been back and forth on wondering what is going on. Are we bad parents? Is he stubborn? Is he harder than normal kids? Is this whole stage normal? The more we looked at it, and observed him, the more we could see how he is mirroring G. G would get physically and verbally violent when he was angry. And so does Caleb.  

So, in the mean time, mom is coping by taking naps. Seriously. If you know me at all, you know I like sleep. And if you really know me, you know that my main coping mechanism is sleep. Sooooo......I took 2-3 naps last week, and I can guarantee I will have a nap today. 

I started running. Again. I hate the starting/stopping. I love running, just don't have the discipline to do it everyday. And I don't have a two kid jogging stroller, and C isn't great on a bike. That leaves going when Jon gets home, and well, sometimes I have stuff to do then. 

Last week, the InterVaristy students that I work with went to camp without me. I stayed home and cared for Chicky baby. It was one of the hardest decisions. I am still not sure I made the right decision. It was hard. I LOVE camp week. It is such a great week to be  right on the front lines of God working in the lives of college students. I love that there are hours of teaching that I get to be a part of. I love the exposition times. And I missed it this week.  

And there you have it friends....a very random update:) 

Project Pinterest and Romans 8

A few weeks ago, I mentioned my self-proclaimed Pinterest Project. The plan is to do one "pinned" item from Pinterest each week.

This week, I have started praying these for Caleb and Chicky Baby. It isn't really a project, but it is certainly something I have pinned:)

Remember when I wrote about memorizing Romans 8?  Well, I am still doing it. It has been a S L O W process. Some of it because of my lack of discipline, and some of it, because of the wording of verse 3. SO confusing. BUT, I got it. With the Lord's help, I am LOVING the discipline of hiding His Word in my heart.

Have a great weekend folks!

Just a Thursday morning chat

Right now, my three year old is having the tantrum of  a lifetime. It has lasted an hour, and there has been much destruction, screaming, kicking and hitting in our house (all by him).  Whew, that is all I want to say about that right now.

Instead, why not a little update on life....

Chicky baby is doing awesome. I am totally in love with her. Even in the late night feedings, I am so content just holding her and snuggling her.  She is such a blessing to our family. And today....she is going to get a little photo shoot. Unfortunately, I can't post them publically, but if you want to email me, I might be able to show some of you the sweet pictures of my baby girl.

I have been asking God to give me some scripture to lean on and trust in during this turbulent foster care/possible adoption process with Chicky baby. To my surprise, He has led me to the story for Joseph. This will be a totally separate post at another time, but clinging to the Word has brought such peace, such hope and trust in Jesus.

Guess what came in the mail yesterday??? A MOBY WRAP!!! Ia m so excited and a little overwhelmed that I don't know how to use it:) I love surprises on my doorstep, especially from my best friend:) Thanks Krista!

Alrighty, I need to go deal with this three year old. This is going to be a long day folks.