A Whole Lotta New

As we move into the summer months, I am quickly reminded about how much "new" we have going on.

Speaking of NEW, how do you like the NEW blog? I think I love it. I might be joining yellow fan club a little late in the game, but I still love it.

Our foster care licence is officially open. What does that mean? Simple answer: We could receive a placement at any moment now. Any time. We will be experiencing a whole lot of NEW in our family once we receive a placement. There will be lots of transition, and we are not sure if we will have kids in and out of our house, or if we will be placed with a preadoptive infant. Either way, a lot of transition, more chaos and less sleep (I am guessing:).

Potty training is NEW to us. We have introduced the potty to Caleb, he has "tried" but I haven't been intentional about it. I didn't want to put the time and energy into potty training, when I knew that I would be traveling for most of May. After next week, life won't slow down by any means, but I will at least be at home with somewhat of a consistent schedule. Looking froward to saving money on not buying diapers, but sad that it means I now longer have a baby.

A few weeks ago, I did a NEW type of photography shoot. It was a 1940's era theme. I can't say much more until the photos are revealed, but I love to expand my photography skills.

I have a NEW, well, NEW to me car. I have never ever in my life had a NEW car before. I was reminded this weekend about all of my cars that I have had. My favorite--"Watt Pond." It was a teal Cutlass Supreme, the windows did not go up or down, there was no air or heat, and mostly no radio, when it rained, water came in the inside of the car- so much so that I had extra towels in the car, and often had plastic bags for people to sit on. My favorite feature about "Watt Pond," and its name sake---because of all the water in the bottom of the car. When you would get into the car, you had to roll up your pants, and make sure you had sandals on...you would get wet. Sorry about that tangent--all this to say, I LOVE my NEW to me car.

I also have a NEW laptop. Wow, my honey has been spoiling me lately. Traveling for work is much easier when all of the documents I need are on my laptop. It also saves printing, so I don't have to print every document I might need while on a trip.

In the summer months, I will be raising an extra $15,000 in NEW support so I can continue the work here at Albion.

Speaking of working, I will be entering a NEW stage of "work life" next year. I am planning to work 30-40 hours instead of 20. I  C A N N O T wait. God has been preparing this for a while and I finally get to see it come to fruition.

Last year, we tore down our deck. We didn't have the money to do anything then, but we saved and planned and now we have a NEW patio. I love it. I often go out on the patio and read and journal. I had a Bible study prep meeting with students out there. Caleb can go out and play and I can watch him or join him.  It has been a blessing.

I have been trying to garden. This is so NEW to me, it is ridiculous. There is little that I enjoy about gardening, except for the end result. I hate planting....I hate getting dirty, I hate not knowing what I am doing, I hate that my body aches afterwards, and I hate that I just need to do again next year. But my naked patio is thanking me for the hard work.

We did something NEW at the lake this past weekend. And by we, I mean my sister, Jalissa. She learned how to water ski. It is possible that I may try it this summer. I am not really a fan of face planting in the water, but it still looks fun.

I have a lot of NEW reading to do, on my summer reading list. What are you reading this summer?

I am planning on learning NEW things photography wise this summer and continue to build our business.

This is NEW...we have a college student living with us this summer. Actually, it is not really that NEW. It is rare that we don't have someone at our house at any given time, but thought I would still mention it:)

What NEW things have you been up to?

because after a night of no sleep, this is what I feel like

Coloring

Afternoon Chat

How are you? I haven't been around in a while. Not because I have been without blogging ideas, but because I have not wanted to go in my cold office and sit on the computer. :( Even with new windows it is cold. Probably because the space heater doesn't work and we are yet to put curtains up...so yes, it is cold.


Ready for the randomness that is in my head?

1. I was going to blog about the I hate Religion/I love Jesus video. But I'm not. It doesn't need more attention. And I don't know that I can add more to the conversation than what other people have already said. And I want to put my time else where. And it doesn't need more publicity. And I am T I R E D of people mentioning that video. So I am not going to do (even though I just did.)

2. TOMORROW I am going to be on a conference call with other InterVarsity staff, the president of Wycliffe Bible translators, International Justice Mission and World Vision. SO SO SO excited. Except that I only get cell service in my office. And it is cold in my office. And Caleb may or may not nap during that time. Other than that....SO SO SO SO SO excited.

3. I haven't taken a photo since Christmas.

4. I am memorizing Romans 6. I am thinking about doing a video blog reciting what I have memorized each week and doing a little chat about Romans. Would you be interested in hearing my voice?


5. I have a mentor. An amazing mentor. It is so funny how I am excited and completely nervous. Yesterday I was supposed to call her to talk at 3pm my time (she lives a few states away). All day, I was so nervous. I knew that she was going to ask questions that were hard. I knew that  she might be used by God to uncover some wounds, that instead of the immediate healing, she might open up the hard, broken parts of my heart. And make me cry.  And she did. She even told me that there are a lot of tears ahead on this road and that I will never be "there." I will never be done on this process, just more confident in how God has made me. And yet....I love it. I love being challenged in that way. I love the words she has to say, the life she has been through, the wisdom that she has and the boldness to press in. I guess I call her again in a month.

6. My fingers are really cold. I need to finish this post and wrap myself up in a blanket and wrap my fingers around a hot cup of tea. Wait....do I have tea in the house? I don't drink tea. I should ask some of my students if I have tea in the house.

7. I am currently addicted to listening to Jesus Culture on Grooveshark.

8. I love Pinterest. I hate that it sends you updates when people have repinned your pins. I finished a ton of Pinterest projects over Christmas break.


9. I want to make my room into a sanctuary type place.  A place where Jon and I can leave the worries of life (including laundry) and rest. And you know.....do other stuff. And because my parents and grandma reads this blog, I will just stop there.  (Wink wink nudge nudge)

10. I found myself praying a lot today for Caleb. Praying that God would give me grace and mercy with him. That I would love Caleb well, and discipline him well, knowing that he is two and does not understand everything, but knowing that he is two and understands a whole lot. After a time out, two spanks and some yelling, I told Caleb that we should talk to Jesus and ask Jesus to help mommy be a good mommy and help Caleb to learn right from wrong. Caleb did not want to talk to Jesus. We did anyways. Because I am the mom. And boy do I need the grace of Jesus.

11. Single most frustrating moment of my life.....any time Caleb is in his crib. He throws everything out of his crib and then realizes what happens and wants them back. For instance, yesterday during nap time, for two hours, T W O   L O N G hours, he would throw his pacifier, puppy and Thomas pillow out of the bed and start crying. I would put them back in, and talk to him. After an hour, I told him if he did it again he would get his hands spanked. That threat didn't work, so spanks happened. I am so so so tired of this. This weekend, we are putting the toddler bed up. Hopefully this will help keep my sanity.

12. I am on day 21 of P90X and LOVE it.  Love Love Love it. And sometimes Jon and I work out together. I never thought I would work out with Jon. (Wendi, stop laughing).

13. I can't wait to start getting busyer with the photography business. It was a great break, but ready to start up again.

14. On my reading list: "Longing for More: A Woman's Journey to Transformation in Christ," "Women in the Church,"  "Sacred Marriage," "Red Hot Monogamy", and reading the Bible through again in 2012. What is on your reading  list?

For the sake of my cold hands, this blog is done.  Love to you!!

Ending the night on a very very good note

These days have been long and tiring. The past few have been someone difficult as I figure out a schedule for our family, process through some of what the Lord is showing me and walking obedience that is simply terrifying at times. I didn't even want to start today, because I knew what was ahead. I knew that there could be some hard conversations with students, I knew that I would be on campus until 9pm at the earliest and would have to come home and put in a few hours of work and my house is...well, you can tell it is NSO season. 

And yet. 

What a fabulous day. 

So different than I had anticipated. 

Difficult small group leaders meeting as we wrestled with scripture and what God might be saying. I had to eat some humble pie during this time. Lord, are you REALLY leading us to step out in faith this way. (I know the answer is yes, but I am hoping that if I keep asking God will change His mind. It works that way, right?) 

In spite of the above, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that God has allowed me to partner with Him in His work There is nothing about me that is good that deserves this. I am so grateful for the students I work with. I am constantly blessed and humbled by them. 

Ah, the greatness of good conversation. 

And then, I had leftovers in my fridge to make some quesadillas for 2 students. A fun impromtu lunch! 

Those same students sat on my couch, played guitar and sang for about an hour. Lovely! 

Caleb went down for a fabulous nap. 

Caleb calls me "George." I have no idea why, but it cracks me up, and I call him George. I think he has started an inside joke with me that I don't know about. Whatever the reason, he gets a pretty big laugh out of me every time he says it. 

More greatness....Another great conversation with a student 

More greatness....receiving mail from my other half...er....my other 1/3. I went to the mail box today, found a post card from China and Chinese stationary and a card. I simply had to take time to START my letter back to Krista, still not finished. I could write a whole post about Krista and our relationship. Maybe another time. But receiving mail from her....so good. Good news from a distant land. 

More greatness......God is working on campus in UNbelievable ways. WOW. I know, vague, right? 

More greatness......Jon has had a song idea brewing in his head for months. Tonight, he sat on the couch and played it for me. It is the mesh of two songs and I LOVE it. I love the music, the lyrics, my husband playing it, but most of all I am inspired by his vision of choosing these two songs. It shows me how God is working in His heart and speaking to him through music. 

And just as I thought I was going to bed I receive this email from a friend...and cried....because seriously, I am blessed today. 

Hey Kristin,

Thinking of you...

 ³ I thank my God every time I remember you. ⁴ In all my prayers for you, I always pray with joy ⁵ because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:3-6)

² I always thank God for ... you, mentioning you in my prayers. ³ I continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 

 ⁴ For I know, you Kristin loved by God, that he has chosen you, ⁵ because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. ⁶ You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. ⁷ And so you became a model to all the believers...  (I Thess. 1:2-7) 

Was sharing a few stories from the past and thought you should know what came to mind.  Thanks.

In Christ,

M

Today I am....

READY to start back to work. I feel refreshed from a great weekend away, and last week was a great week with my colleagues! 

WISHING that I had more dedication to losing weight. It is a constant battle.

EXCITED to use my new camera that came in the mail while I was gone this weekend!

HAPPY that my boys are peacefully sleeping and I get some much needed alone time. 

PROUD of some of the Christian leaders in my life, including pastors and InterVarsity staff. 

REALIZING that I am going to have to have a consistent schedule this school year in order to get things done, my house is a mess, and my to do list keeps getting longer. 

FINALLY ADJUSTING to getting up early in the mornings. I love being up by 6 now! Ofcourse, didn't happen during our vacation weekend, so we will see how it all works out tomorrow!

NOTICING how hard my husband tried to make this past weekend away glorious! 

SPENDING more money on cameras and lenses. Which means....other things to go, so I can have more cash. Soo....thrifting anyone? 

HUNGRY for the most delicious watermelon you have ever tasted.....mmmmmm......

LOOKING FORWARD TO really starting the adoption process again, via foster care, looking forward to school starting, to playing with my new camera and for Krista to be back in the country so I can write her letters:) 

THANKFUL for God's Word.          
 

A Late Monday Morning

I rolled out of bed at 8:30 this morning. Unheard of around here. Jon has been at work for a few hours and Caleb and I are definitely enjoying a quiet morning and sleeping in. We had a very busy weekend, and we needed that sleep.

Our time in Detroit was great. Jon and I have both been a part of urban ministry trips in Detroit, but we have never done them together. This was our first time together, and our first time having a child there. It was
 H A R D with a baby-almost toddler there. I was so glad that Caleb was there though. We want to have it instilled early on in our family that we do ministry together, we serve together and follow Jesus together. It may not be as hard as I thought, just realizing than an 18 month old is harder to work with than college students.

There is a lot of adoption talk going on at our house, for those of you who have been asking. If you have been paying attention, we have said that we would pursue foster care in July 2011. Here we are, almost done with July and we have not forgotten. We are so unsure of where to pursue at this point.  There has been a lot of discussion and prayer. This week there should be some emails sent and phone calls made.

I have lots of photo shoot ideas for my little man. This week may be the only week to get them done. I am looking forward to it!

Today will be spent catching up on my Bible reading. Apparently a 4 day missions trip isn't quite conducive for a 90 Day reading plan. Laundry will be done, including sheets, my bedroom will be cleaned, I will started back on my shredding (Day 9 today) and photos will be edited!!

What are you up to today?

In my own little corner

• In a few hours, I leave for Detroit. Our church is going on an Urban Missions Trip and I am so excited to be a part of it. It seems strange to be packing and getting the whole family (all three of us) ready for this. I am always the one to leave, to go on these trips, to staff these trips with college students as well as a variety of other travel fun. This time....me, my hubster and the baby. Wow. All of us. Feels great, even if I am weirded out. 

Because I will have my "Mom hat" on, amongst other things, I have a feeling that a lot of my time will be spent with Caleb and other kids. This will be different!

I am currently reading the Bible through in 90 Days. It has been a sure test of discipline. I have loved it. It has been hard to not dig deep and study, but I am reminded of the importance of a Biblical Overview. It has been 10 days and I have covered Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus and am currently in Numbers.

My to do list is bigger than the alloted amount of time in a day. When will that change?

I had a brush with insanity this week. The last straw dropped and I went to the salon and had Caleb's head shaved. Wow. I am both mourning and rejoicing. No more sticky, yucky food hiding in his afro, no more combing and picking through, no more tantrums with the grease, no more worried that his hair will get wet and then I will have to comb it out again.....but HE LOOKS SO    B I G.  Can someone please come and tell him to stop growing?

I have a few hours before we leave for Detroit. I need to finish my Bible reading for the day, clean out the car, pack the car, pick up cat food, find coolers, fans and paint supplies and work on some of our Bible Studies for our time in Detroit. Can't wait to take a few pictures in the city.....and then of course bring them to you:)

The Diary of a Shoebox

haven't been around much

But don't give up on me!

Wait. Maybe you didn't know I went away.

Well, not away. Just not blogging, because life got busy.

So busy.

With good things. SO MANY GOOD THINGS.

And some hard things.

But mostly, I have been working, mommying, wifing, erranding, homemaking, and sleeping.

And yes, I just made up some verbs.

The end. 

Sometimes you have to think out loud

Thinking out loud (er....thinking on the net)

• I want to coupon more. I don't even really know where to start. So....where do I start? Help me out! 
• I can't hear. Seriously. I am losing my hearing. If I ask you to repeat what you are saying 6 times, it is not because I am not paying attention. Just ask my husband how loud the tv needs to be. Don't worry. I have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks. 
• I want to have lots of flowers in my yard, but not sure what to grow where, and what looks good and what doesn't. I don't have a green thumb. 
• Round 5000,000 of weight loss/gain cycle. I would like to lose about 17.5lbs in the next 5 weeks. 
• I am "doing" a 5k. Around my block, 3 times= 3.15 miles. Lila loves to walk, and I am trying to jog and walk. Someday I might actually run it and have a decent time, but I am working on consistency right now. 
• I hope there is lots of sun at lake this weekend. My skin needs to UV rays! 
• I need some good recipes for things with green onions, dill and rhubarb. Can you freeze that stuff? 
• "Longing for More" by Ruth Haley Barton is one of the best books I have read in a long time. Not sure if it is really that good and life changing, or if I am in a really teachable, moldable spot. 
• On my mind right now: Laundry, packing for up north, Detroit Missions Trip, Women in Ministry, Festival of the Forks, Missions Conference, Fundraising for InterVarsity, photography, Ordinary Miracles Photography,Ezra, VBS, train stations, writing letters, cleaning my house and cleaning out my car. 
• I am so so so so so grateful for my neighbors, who are our deacons, friends, childcare provider, go to people. How can I show them how much I appreciate them? 
• I have been blessed. A lot. 

What's on your mind?

A Sunny Saturday Morning

It may be sunny, yes, but very very chilly. My neighbor just walked into my house, saying, "COLD, COLD," and promptly came over to my dining room table and rested his hands above the flames of the burning candles.

I am enjoying a rare moment of quiet. Caleb is taking a morning nap, (this rarely happens), and Jon went to the run some errands. This leaves me with my coffee and stillness. Just enough to fit a blog post it.

I wish I had something interesting to share, but I don't. Thus, the random bullet points.

• I LOVE COFFEE. 
• This weekend, I have a few hours of work with students, and the rest is MINE. Cannot wait. 
• I wish I was more artistic. I am meeting with my students today and we will be making a proxe station. I hope they are more artistic than me:) A proxe station is an interactive way to engage in spiritual conversations using art and the Gospel. More on that later. 
• Wednesday mornings are my favorite mornings of the week. I spend them with 3 beautiful women, inside and out, drinking coffee, laughing, crying, experiencing mommyhood and studying the Bible together. 
• I am glad that Photoshop is on my desktop computer, in my office and not on my laptop. Otherwise I think I might be caught driving with my laptop open trying to edit photos. Ok, I am not THAT addicted, but I am LOVING what I am learning, and the possibility of helping others to have beautiful photos of their family. 
• Speaking of which, I am starting a photography business. That's right folks!!!! It is a beautiful story of how God has weaved three lives, three stories and 1 passion together. Read more about it here. 
• I have almost scrapped all of 2010 
• I made a meal this week, that "had potential." I really want to make it again to redeem my efforts.  (Sage and Apple pork chops with red skinned potatoes) 
• My boy is finally, finally, finally getting out of this severe tantrum phase. I know that with kids, there are many phases, and I know that we are not done with tantrums, but perhaps for this season...for a few days at least. 
• Caleb got his hair cut yesterday, and was absolutely miserable,but he looks SOOO handsome right now. 
• I want to scrub my floors. Maybe tonight. 
• I want to clean my bedroom. Maybe tonight. 
• I want to edit pictures. Definitely tonight.

Maybe I do need to realign my priorities:)

Snowday

Snowdays are good for.....

Baking apple bread

Hand scrubbing kitchen and bathroom floors

Finishing laundry

Staff Meeting via skype

Cleaning underneath the couch (*shudder*)

Cleaning underneath and behind the tv stand

Lots of snuggles and cuddles with a 13 month old

A glass of wine at night

Some sweet time in scripture and prayer

Thank you Lord for snowdays:)

Back to reality

Now that Christmas is over.....

-planning a 1st Birthday party for a pretty special boy in my life
-cleaning the disaster zone that Christmas left in my house
-WORKING OUT AND EATING FRUITS AND VEGGIES!
-Turning my office into a play room and my laundry room into an office
-Taking Christmas decor down

So, who want to help with the re-decorating?

I feel like I should post

But there isn't much to write about. Actually, there is so much to write about...if you want to hear about my spiritual life, and what I am learning from God through prayer, scripture and other people. A WHOLE LOT. Some hard stuff. Some deep stuff. Some stuff that will seriously change me.

But other than that, I am officially on Christmas break, which means it is time to get on my to do list. Get ready for Christmas, shop, wrap, Christmas cards, clean the house, work on meals for this weekend (2 family gatherings in 2 days at our house), work out like crazy because I have the time to do so, redo 2 bedrooms, buy a computer and photoshop and learn how to use them, take more pictures, decorate more, spend time with friends, clean--super duper clean......

And that's it. Kind of boring, right?

No Matter What.

Friends no matter what. 

I will stand by you no matter what. 

We will keep in touch, no matter what. 

I will love you no matter what. 

I have spoken these words to friends, family and my husband, sometimes I really did mean those words, other times it was a nice courtesy, but most times it meant.... 

I will love you as long as you love me. 

I will support you as long as you don't do me wrong. 

I will be there for you, if and only if you are there for me. 

I will be there, but lose my trust and I'm gone. 

I will love you until you leave dirty dishes on the table, give me a gas-less car, forget to call me when you know you will be late, etc.  

I will love you until you keep me up all night with your tears. 

What a selfish beast I am? Now you know some of the deep parts of my heart, the honest, dirty, sinful, selfish parts. I love conditionally, yet long for unconditional love. 

God has been challenging me in such a deep way in how I love others. He has challenged me to love Him, and His people no matter what. It is a hard painful process. A lot of my flesh tells me that it is ok to hold grudges, to not forgive, and to certainly not be in tight community with people who have hurt me, who I don't see eye to eye with, for those who don't get me. But that's not what He has said. He has said no matter what. 

So here I am in this journey. 

Trying so hard to love no matter what. 

To show show love when I am tired and depressed. 

To put others far above myself and my own agenda. 

To love others when it hurts. 

To love others when I don't feel loved back. 

This journey is hard, I am so glad that I have a husband who is standing by me in this, who is spurring me on, reminding me of my convictions and putting words to my emotions. How God  has blessed me. 

Overwhelmed!

Nothing describes my feeling right now, except overwhelmed.

I was coming home from campus tonight and I was thinking, "Do I go straight to bed in order to ignore all that I have to do, or stay up late so that I can cross things off my to-do list?" The answer: I have done nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I feel too overwhelmed to even start.

-The house is such a mess! A total disaster. Where do I start? And by the time I make any headway, I will have to take a break or move my crawling baby from climbing on the tv, going up the stairs and knocking over the laundry baskets.

-Christmas decorations need to be put up. The thought of going to the basement to get everything, to put it all up, and then to put the totes back in the basement...not fun.

-Working out is hard. I can't convince myself that a little exercise is better than none. I think that if I can't put a few hours in, then I don't do it at all.

-Christmas presents! Seriously...who am I buying for? how much are we spending on each person? When will we see them to exchange gifts? Will I find the perfect gift? If I don't, will they think I didn't put much thought into it? If I spend time wrapping gifts, will caleb just unwrap them all under the tree? Do we have enough money to spend on Christmas gifts? Are Jon and I exchanging gifts? Are we getting anything for Caleb?

-In a few short days the semester will be over. I want to end well, and help students to end well. How do I do that?

I feel so lame for even posting this on a public blog. I know that you don't read this to hear about my complaining, but man oh man, have I been in a slump lately. My  depression and anxiety filled self has come back to our home. I am kicking butt with prayer and not allowing it to control me, but it.takes.so.much. out of me to fight.

For my friends who are facing very real struggles tonight, I am sorry you just wasted your time reading this.

I need your help!

In exactly one week....I am on Christmas BREAK! That's right. Now yes, I do have a lot of work that I have to get done BUT....I also have some good projects to get done around the house. 

So who wants to help....

-clean my house? 

-teach me how to use photoshop? 

-let me use you as a model so I can spend time taking pictures? 

-sew curtains? 

-cut vinyl (actually......I have Rachel's cricuit in mind:)) 

-Give me organization ideas as I make an office? 

-Watch Caleb? 

-Cook with me? 

-help me write, stuff, and send ministry update letters? 

-scrapbook with me? 

-wrap my Christmas presents? 

Basically, in 5 short days, I will have 6 weeks off of ministry work. I need a friend to keep me busy, y'all. 

I don't feel like it

I am so glad that God has taught me a lesson on emotions on the past year. Mind you, I would NEVER EVER WILLINGLY relive the circumstances that brought the lessons, but I did learn...a lot.

I learned that my emotions lie. I cannot base my decisions on my emotions. I am grateful that God uses my emotions to fuel passions and excitement but it is only part. Sometimes there are things that I simply have to do, even when I don't feel like it.

This seems to be the attitude of my life lately, "but I don't feel like it." I don't feel like getting up in the middle of the night when Caleb loses his pacifier. I don't feel like waking up early to spend time with my Savior. I don't feel like cleaning the house. I don't feel like making dinner for my husband. I don't feel like working out. I don't feel like working. I don't feel like being fully engaged in conversation. I don't feel like being a part of a church where I don't feel like I don't connect. I don't feel like being on a tight budget. I don't feel like being a good friend right now.   I don't feel happy all the time. I don't feel like it.....AH! So now you have been inside my head this morning. Scary place, isn't it?

I am so glad that God has taught me that it is not all about what I feel. A lot of it is about what I know. What I know to be true about Him and about myself. I cannot rely on emotion, especially as a self proclaimed "feeler"  on the MBTI test.

Today I rise on what I know, even when I don't feel like it.

That being said....there is work to be done that I don't feel like doing.

bullets

-I need NEED NEED NEED to learn photoshop.

-I am soooooo excited for the women's retreat at church this weekend, even if it does mean that I need to wear a swim suit 

-I have not cooked at all this week 

-I have done a lot of laundry

-My hand hurts, my wrist hurts...a lot. I am going to the doctor tomorrow and am nervous. My husband doesn't help  my nerves. When I ask him what he thinks it is, he says, "Cancer." Wow, thanks. or "Surgery." Great. So I am nervous. 

-I am LOVING my job. 

-Today, for the hec of it I let Caleb take a nap in my arms. Why not? He is only a baby once, I had time, we had not done it in a long time....and I love snuggling my boy. 

-I need the retreat this weekend. Badly.