Use those knees

I have declared today...a day for prayer. The world around me is in desperate need for prayer and instead of feeling shocked, overwhelmed, emotional, I am simply going to pray. Here are some things I am praying for today:

-The US Supreme Court decision about campus ministries:
http://www.intervarsity.org/news/campus-ministry-threatened

-My colleagues at Ohio State University who are engaging in a HUGE outreach all week about modern day slavery. They will be engaging the campus in a week long dialogue about justice and how Jesus plays a role in bringing justice and redeeming the world. They have already had 100 new Christians this year and are praying for many many more this week.
www.osupriceoflife.com

-Adoption "stuff"

-Ministry at Albion College

-Some personal issues

What do you need prayer for today?

40 Days On

On the first day of Lent, there are some many people who are planning on what they are giving up for the 40 Day Season. Lent is the celebration leading up to Easter that many Christians participate in. I grew up never knowing much about Lent, and thought that it was just a Catholic celebration and because I was not Catholic, I did not have to participate. True, and false. I was not Catholic. And I did not have to participate, but in the past years I have done something for Lent that reminds me about the debt that Jesus paid on the cross, something that draws me into a deeper relationship with my Savior, something that takes a little extra work for 40 days.

This year for Lent, I am not giving anything up, I am calling it a "40 Days On." In the next 40 days, I want to take big steps to grow my faith, my knowledge of God, my dependence on the Lord, my knowledge of scripture, and protect my temple that God has given me.

1. (Re) Start Memorizing the Psalms of Ascent. I started doing this, and then Caleb entered my world. Babies make life so much more time consuming, enough said. I will be preaching on one of the Psalms of Ascent in March, and want to have 4 Psalms memorized by Easter. What a glorious way to grow in my relationship with the Lord!

2. Spend time EACH day in prayer and scripture. I was in a good routine doing that and then I let life with Caleb take over....now, back to it.

3. Lose 20lbs in 40days. It will take some focus and hard work, but in order for me to be the best woman that God has created me to be, with this one body that He has give me, this needs to be done!

What are your plans for Lent? Do you celebrate it?

Leaving you with a video of my sweet boy.

Decisions will be made tomorrow

Caleb will be discharged TOMORROW!!! Yes, our big ol 4 1/2lb boy is going to be discharged TOMORROW!!

Case workers have pressed the birth mom needs to make a decision TOMORROW. She needs to choose to parent or choose to go through with the adoption plan.

PRAY PRAY PRAY! Pray that she chooses adoption, it would really be the best thing for Caleb.

Calling all PRAYers

We need some prayers!!! Big prayers. Prayers that move mountain prayers.

Why?

Because Caleb is going to be released from the hospital this week, possibly Monday and birth mom has not made a decision.

What you can pray for:
-Pray that the social contacts the birth mom before the hospital on Monday
-Pray that we can get in touch with the birth mom's social worker on Sunday
-Pray that the birth mom would choose adoption and sign papers before Caleb is released
-Pray for a miracle and for God to be glorified.

faith.

The Bible says "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Mt. 17:20

Why is it then that my faith has never been stronger and I feel like not even a grain of sand is moving? Oh Lord, increase my faith.

I know that the greatest impact of prayer is not the answers that we get, but drawing nearer to the Lord. I have never been more intimate with Him. I have never prayed more. I have never had more faith.

And yet......I wait.....
............I wait.................
........... I wait.........................

today

I am found:

somewhere between hope and despair
somewhere between waiting and going
somewhere between wanting friends around and wanting to be alone
somewhere between wanting to overeat and wanting to overexercise
somewhere between lost and found
somewhere between wanting to work and wanting to quit
somewhere between scrubbing the house room by room and letting the mess pile up
somewhere between wanting my prayers answered and knowing that prayer in and of itself is not about getting answers

I am found here.

Who said anything about safe?

Close

"Who is Aslan?" asked Susan.

"Aslan?" said Mr. Beaver, "Why don't you know? He's the King. . . . It is he, not you, that will save Mr. Tumnus. . . ."

"Is -- is he a man?" asked Lucy.

"Aslan a man!" said Mr. Beaver sternly.

"Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion -- THE Lion, the great Lion."

"Ooh!" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he -- quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

"I'm longing to see him," said Peter, "even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point."
Chronicles of Narnia
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hard is an understatement for describing the adoption process. We knew this going into it, and we jumped feet first. We knew that we would be hurt, and still we continued. We knew that it would cost us more than we have money for, and still we walked in faith. Then we were hurt...hard....and we kept walking. Then we were faced with another child, and we plunged in quickly, fell in love, became attached had a week of the highest highs and lowest lows....and here we are, still walking towards adoption.

I was asked this week if I have a bad taste in my mouth for adoption, and as much as I wanted to say yes, I can't. I am wired for adoption. God has placed such a clear call on my heart. My heart breaks to know that there are children who need homes and families, and my heart wants so badly to come alongside of mothers that are trying to do the best for their children. So yes, adoption has been hard, but I am not about to spit it out of my mouth.

When we first found out about Caleb we had some people in our lives that wanted us to remember the risk that we were taking, to remember that nothing is final until a judge decides, people who doing everything in their power to remind us of how hard adoption really is.

And you know what?

We already knew that. All too well, thank you.

And you know what?

We jumped head first anyways.

As we are in the "waiting period" wondering whether or not Caleb's birth mom is going to go through with adoption or not, I would not have changed anything.

What if we end up adopting Caleb? I cannot imagine the time lost with my son because I was so careful to protect my heart.

Or what if the adoption doesn't go through? Well, then we had the chance to love on a baby, to pray for him, sing to him, talk to him, and visit him. Without us, and without our families this sweet boy would have had no visitors. NONE. Having some constant love and attention for even a little while helped Caleb so much! When we first met him, nurses were saying he could be in the hospital for 6 weeks, and after a week with him, they were saying maybe 10 days, he had gained a pound and was bottle feeding. WOW.

So does adoption hurt? Is it hard? More than you know. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is a glorious calling.

Checking In- Week #2

A weekly check-in to see how I am accomplishing my 2010 goals...thanks for keeping me accountable.

Goals for 2010
PHYSICAL- Lose 57lbs, run a 5k
I have lost 5.8lbs thus far...51.2lbs to go:)

SCRIPTURE READING- Read through the Bible in a year, memorize the Psalms of Ascent (Psalm 120-134)
I am two days behind in scripture reading, but will be catching up today. I have memorized Psalm 120 and working on Psalm 121.

READING- Read 12 books of spiritual development, ministry helps, etc.
2 Books down, 10 to go:) I finished Encountering God in the City, and Transforming Prayer. This week, starting, "The Good and Beautiful God"

SPIRITUAL- 1 retreat day a month, devotions 5 days a week, 20 minutes of prayer a day
yes yes yes

FAMILY- Be the best wife that I can be
This week was good..striving to be better

FINANCIAL- follow set budget, pay off school loans, save for adoption
It is easy to follow a budget when you don't leave the house and don't spend money. Definitely was my last week. I did not venture out much...therefore budget=kept.

MINISTRY- Volunteer in Albion, start neighborhood groups, learn about modern day slavery
-Women's Small Group at my house starts next week!! So excited.
-Goal this week: learn how to volunteer in Albion and DO IT!

System Breakdown

News on the adoption front: Jon and I are considering pursuing infant foster care, to adopt. We are still learning, and still praying, but this will be our next step.

In one day of phone calls....I have found out....the system in broken. I am so glad that I serve a God that brings restoration to the broken.

Weekly Check in #1

As an effort to encourage you to make 2010 a year of change, and as a means of accountability for myself, I will be doing a weekly check in on Mondays (hopefully) letting you know how I am doing at keeping my 2010 goals. Now, I know that my decisions in keeping these goals may not be life changing for you, but hopefully we can be an encouragement to each other as we press on to pursue the kingdom.

Goals for 2010
PHYSICAL- Lose 57lbs, run a 5k
So far this has been a great goal, and seeing results already. I have a dear friend who has graciously taken the challenge of training me. Following her work out plan, doing some of my own workouts (with exercise videos, walking, etc) and the South Beach Diet, I am 4.4lbs lighter this week!

SCRIPTURE READING- Read through the Bible in a year, memorize the Psalms of Ascent (Psalm 120-135)
I AM LOVING my time in scripture. I am really devouring it, and my love for scripture is growing. I have read all 4 days of January and have memorized one verse a day for my memorization work. I am always amazed at what happens when I commit to memorizing God's word. I find myself thinking about His ways, desiring Him more...

READING- Read 12 books of spiritual development, ministry helps, etc.
It does not hurt that I started the year with 2 partially read books. I am hoping to have them done in the next week. Reading: Encountering God in the City, and Together in Prayer. Both books have been a great source of training for me, and I am excited to implement several of the ideas! Stay tuned to see how they are implemented!

SPIRITUAL- 1 retreat day a month, devotions 5 days a week, 20 minutes of prayer a day
When I make a commitment to spend daily time with the Lord in scripture and prayer, I am amazed at how I keep craving more and more of Him. It seems like the "structured time" I have is a time that just wets my appetite and I want more!!! I have been reminded this week that I do have a gift of intercession, and how little I use it to further the kingdom. How can I pray for you this week?

FAMILY- Be the best wife that I can be
Will this always be a struggle for me? I know it is a vague goal and not easy to measure....but at least it is always at the forefront of my mind.

FINANCIAL- follow set budget, pay off school loans, save for adoption
On New Years Day, Jon and I sat down and made our January 2010 budget. We are following the Dave Ramsey, envelope plan (using cash for everything). I LOVE making a budget. I like to tell my money where to go, and having control over our finances. We want to be great stewards, after all, we are just managing the money that God has given us....He is the owner.

MINISTRY- Volunteer in Albion, start neighborhood groups, learn about modern day slavery
January 19th, there will be a women's small group meeting in my home with the hope to see women transformed by the word as well as being a part of transforming others. We will be studying Hosea, praying together and serving together. Do you want to be a part of it?

Pursuing the Kingdom in 2010

Hey Friends! It is the time of the year where we are all making resolutions and vowing that this is the year where things will be different...the year where change will happen.

I am all for making New Year's Resolutions, actually I thrive on making lists of goals and making plans on how to accomplish them. I get excited for those things.....I am that much of a nerd. I think it is a great practice to reflect on the year past, and plan for the next year.

I have several resolutions, and am excited to keep them all (right?) You will probably fall victim to reading several of those posts later on for the month....but for now.....

How will you be pursuing the kingdom of God in 2010? What will you be doing that will be intentional in making His kingdom known in your areas of influence?

• How will you step out of your comfort zone to make the love of Jesus known this year?
  
• How will grow in your love and knowledge of God this year?
  
• How will you spend your money/time in order to pursue the kingdom and to bring it forth?
• Who will you invest in this year, to share the love of Jesus and to further them along in their faith?
  
• When will you get started?
  
• Who will keep you accountable?

An Unfilling Church

"Much of the evangelical church is longing for a deeper experience of God, and the irony is that it is among those we too often ignore and avoid- the orphans, widows, poor, sick and oppressed- where God said He would be. There we will experience Him, see Him, touch Him and walk with Him." (Kerry Hasenbalg)

I am not entirely sure God is doing in my life, but the above quote encompasses my thoughts dreams and passions.