Over the 4 years that Caleb has been in our lives, one of the constant comments I hear when we talk about racial identity is "God doesn't see color."
Really? Do you know when you say that, you are undermining God's creative work in creating cultures and ethnicities, different types of people that all reflect the image and glory of God? Do you know that when you say that, you are telling me that black and white are the same? And do you know you are telling my brown son, that they are the same?
I know what you mean. You mean, "God loves us, regardless of skin color. God loves each of us as His image bearers." I am so glad that we are not bound by culture and ethnicity, but that instead we are blessed by the differences, because they give us a glimpse of God's character and a glimpse of what Heaven will be like.
Perhaps what is so hard about statements like these, is holding my hurting 4 year old last night, until midnight. He was begging me to pray to God and to ask God to turn his skin white. Or maybe it was the day that he didn't want to go to school because there weren't enough brown kids at his school. Or maybe it was the time he told me that he wanted a brown mommy and daddy. Or maybe it's just the fact that there are differences. I have to take care of his skin and hair in ways that I don't have to take care of mine, and even in a different way than we take care of Chick's (our bi-racial foster daughter).
As we continue on this journey of raising our son, journey with us as we teach him to value his ethnic identity. The Lord made him black. This is who he is. My hope and prayer is that he would fully embrace his blackness, and whiteness (by being in a white family), and fully glorify the Lord in all that he does. May Caleb walk in purpose and one day understand why a black newborn, born in Detroit was adopted by a white family.
Speaking of the journey....we are starting counseling today. I am not entirely sure how a 4 year old goes through counseling. This is the first step of many. The first step of putting some pieces back together in our very broken home. {Parenting is hard. Especially in adoption and foster care}.
Do you know of any children's books that would help us in this area?
It matters friends. Ethnic identity matters. God created it. Next time you tell me that God doesn't see color, watch out for my mamma claws.
1 comment:
One of my favorites, You Are Special by Max Lucado doesn't talk about color specifically, but about differences and how God loves us all. Jack and Caty have this one and after checking online to try to remember the name of it (they have way too many books to try to find it!), it also come in a picture book and dvd format.
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