You know what is NOT helpful?

I am hopeful. Jon and I are hopeful. When I asked him tonight if he thought the adoption was going go through, he said yes. I said "are you saying yes to protect me?" His reply, "I say yes, because she is our baby."

This is our general attitude. We love her. We want her. We are prepared for her. We are hopeful, but it doesn't mean that there are never waves of sorrow and grief. The unknowing silence can kill me sometimes. So do you want to know what is NOT helpful?

-staying up late.....the mind just wanders.

-watching tv...you would be surprised at the things that can make me break into tears.

-planning for the rest of the semester/year, not knowing if I will be holding my little girl this year or not.

-hearing other folk's adoption stories, or their friends stories, a story they heard on the news, etc. NOT HELPFUL! WHY? The story either ends well, and I think, "Great, what about my baby?" Or it doesn't end well and I think "well, that was encouraging--NOT" Folks, don't waste your words.

-When someone says "She must not have been the right one for you." You don't want to cross an angry/emotional/attached mamma when you say this to me.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I was talking to my sister this week, and told her that I was surprised that so many people were praying for us. She asked "Why? You guys have a huge support system!" Truer words have not been said. Thank you all for your support! We love you all.

Keep praying. Please pray that G would call the agency and go through with the adoption.

In case you were wondering...the due date is in 1 week and 4 days. Not that I am counting :)

If you give a college student a pancake...

Every Tuesday night I have the privilege of studying scripture and hanging out with some amazing first year students! This past week we decided to give free pancakes to the freshmen dorm. We wanted to get our name out, to invite people to our small group Bible Study. Besides, it is so fun to give free stuff away, especially free food. Everyone loves it!

I am asking for it

I am asking for accountability and help! Today starts day 1 of phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. Help me along this process!!

Just in case you were wondering....

There is still no news. Keep praying. Don't lose hope, don't lose faith! Pray the prayers of your (our) hearts!

Because I need to...

-I need to take my mind off things
-I need to have more energy
-I need to be able to fit into my clothes
-I need to feel attractive again
-I need to be able to have the energy and stamina to care for a little one
-I need to make my body a temple unto the Lord
-I need to fit into a super cute bridesmaid dress in one year
-I need to be healthy now to set an example for my kids in the future

Goal: Lose 53 pounds by October 2010. (would not be unhappy if it happened sooner, but hey, lets be realistic

Plan: working out 4 days a week, cutting back on bad carbs.

Who wants to join in with me? I am going to do a jump start with South Beach Phase 1.

And some added incentive...because Jon and I are SO NEEDING this, we have a "reward" system in our budget. If we work out four days a week, for a month, we will receive $30 that month. Now if that isn't an incentive......shopping here I come!

And even more incentive....PUTTING THIS ON MY BLOG! Seriously, accountability anyone?

So, who's in?

Everything rides on hope now

..or so says the lyrics of a song I heard on the radio today.

This is our new mantra. What good is it to be depressed, and anxious that we just sit by the phone call waiting for an update...an update that no one seems to give us. Enough!

We are hoping. The Lord has asked us to become attached to Noelle Grace.
He asked us to love her. We do.
He asked us to provide for her. We are saving to do so and will be able to.
He asked us to pray for her. We have and continue to.
He asked us to get a house ready for her. We did.

This cannot all be for nothing, so we are hoping. We are waking up everything thinking "Is this the day that we get a phone call from the hospital? Is this the day that we get to hold our sweet baby in our arms?" So we hope. We prepare. We act as if it is going to go through.

Because that is what happens when we pray--we wait for God to answer.
And because this is what this woman needs to do to get out of bed in the morning.....hope is all I have left.

And the update is.....

...there is no update. Keep praying for us, pray that we would be able to adopt our sweet Noelle Grace:)